Touched by Angels 


One
The young man wore a staple in one ear. Brynn Cassidy tried not to stare as he paraded past her and slouched down in the desk in the farthest corner of the classroom. His nose was decorated with a safety pin. The fact that his hair was cut in a Mohawk style and dyed orange shouldnt faze her. Shed been told what to expect.
Manhattan High School wasnt St. Mary Academy, the parochial girls high school where shed taught for the last two years. But teaching here was an opportunity she couldnt let pass her by. Shed accepted this position to test her theories and gain experience in dealing with students from a disadvantaged neighborhood.
Next, a young lady entered the room in a miniskirt, blouse and no bra. Her hair, pitch-black and stringy, covered her far better than her choice of outfits. She glanced around, shrugged, and claimed the seat closest to the door as if it were important to make a fast getaway.
The room filled quickly. The school building itself was said to be dilapidated and run-down, but that didnt trouble Brynn. St. Mary Academy was a turn-of-the-century structure with high ceilings and lovely polished wood floors that smelled of lemon oil.
When Brynn learned Manhattan High in the Washington Heights area had been constructed in the early 1950s, shed expected it to be an improvement, but she was wrong. Like so many other schools, Manhattan High had been forced to make some difficult budget choices. Thanks to three failed school bond levies, modernizing the classrooms was on the low end of the priority list.
Will everyone kindly take a seat, Brynn instructed nervously. She stood in front of the class and was ignored, which wasnt surprising since the bell had yet to ring.
Looking for something constructive to do, she walked over to the badly chipped blackboard and wrote out her name.
The bell rang, and several of the kids stopped talking long enough to indicate their irritation at being interrupted. The level of conversation increased once the bell finished.
Brynn returned to the front center of the room and waited. Shed learned early in her teaching career never to outshout her students. It only made her look foolish, and it didnt work. After five full minutes of being ignored, she went to the wall and flipped the light switch a couple of times. This technique had worked elsewhere but had only a mild effect upon the class. The level of talking decreased momentarily while several glanced her way, then quickly continued their ongoing conversations.
Brynn decided she had no option but to wait them out. It demanded the longest fifteen minutes of her life to stand in front of that classroom until thirty people voluntarily gave her their attention.
It might have taken longer if the boy, Hispanic from the look of him, hadnt raised his right hand and snapped his fingers. Ten or so other Hispanics stopped talking and turned around on their seats. An African American followed suit, and several of the others clustered together went silent.
The class had divided itself along ethnic lines, Brynn noted. The Hispanics sat in the front, the African Americans chose the back.
Once silence reigned, Brynn stepped forward. Good morning, she said with her brightest smile. My names Miss Cassidy.
Why aint you married?
Because Im not, she answered simply, preferring not to get trapped in a conversation about herself. Im your teacher, and
Youre new, aint you?
Yes, Brynn answered politely. As you already know, were involved in an experimental program called Interdisciplinary Learning.
That doesnt sound like something a nice girl like you should be teaching, one of the boys called out.
Despite herself, Brynn smiled. Well be spending three hours together each afternoon, exploring senior English, world history, and social science. Youll notice how the classes are grouped along parallel lines.
Is she speaking English? one girl whispered loudly, leaning toward another.
Brynn decided it would be best to explain the concept in simpler terms. The classes well be studying are connected by subject. Well read The Diary of Anne Frank for the English portion, the history section will involve the study of World War Two, and in the last part of the session Id like to discuss the justification for war and other value clarification.
All three hours will be spent with you?
Thats right, Brynn said. Youll know me better than any other teacher, and by the same token, Ill know you. Id like it if we could work together as a team.
If were going to be spending this much time with one teacher, then it only seems right that you tell us something about yourself first, the Hispanic boy whod quieted the class said. Since she owed him a favor, she agreed.
What do you want to know?
How long you been teaching?
This is my third year.
If she lasts the first week, someone suggested under their breath.
Ill last, Brynn assured them. Im too young to retire and too stubborn to quit.
Whered you come from?
Rhode Island.
Whyd you decide to teach here?
Shes a fool, thats why, someone answered for her.
Thats not true, Brynn countered. As I explained earlier, were involved in an experimental program thats being sponsored by the federal government. I was asked to participate.
Whyd you do it?
The questions were making her decidedly uncomfortable. Part of the agreement would be that a portion of my student loan would be forgiven.
Forgiven?
Thats the word the government used.
Whered you teach before? a Chinese girl asked, her gaze shyly meeting Brynns.
St. Mary Academy. Its a private school for girls near Rochester.
La de da, one of the boys said in a high-pitched voice. He stood, dropped his wrists, and pranced around his desk.
Hey, could you set me up with one of those nice Catholic girls?
Brynn didnt bother to answer.
Do you color your hair or is it naturally red?
Its auburn, Brynn corrected, and its as natural as it comes.
What do you think, dummy, with a name like Cassidy? Shes Irish, cant you tell?
Dummy? Brynn repeated, and then added in a Home Alone voice, I dont think so. If he were dumb, he wouldnt be a high school senior. This brings up something I consider vital to this class. Respect. I wont tolerate any name calling, racial slurs, or put-downs.
You been in girls school too long, Teach. Thats just the way we talk. If Malcolm here wants to call Denzil a nigger, hes got a right cause hes a nigger himself.
Not in this classroom he wont. The only thing Ill ask of you in the way of deportment is mutual respect.
I dont even know you, how am I supposed to respect you?
It was a good question and one Brynn couldnt slough off.
Especially if the only reason you decided to take this job was so you could be forgiven for something you did to the government.
Thats not the only reason I took the job, Brynn pressed, I want to teach you to dream.
Excuse me? A girl with her hair woven into tiny braids all over her head sat upright. Youre making us sound like babies.
Im not suggesting naps, Brynn explained. How many of you know what youre going to do after you graduate from high school?
One hand went up, from the same Hispanic youth whod helped her earlier.
Your name is?
Emilio Alcantara.
Hello, Emilio. Tell me what your dreams are.
I got plenty of those. I dream about Michelle and Nikki and ... His friends made several catcalls, and Brynn smiled and shook her head.
Im talking about the future. After high school, five years down the road. We all need a dream, something to pin our hopes on, something that gives us a reason to wake up in the morning.
You mean a dream like Martin Luther King?
Yes, she said enthusiastically. An ambition to do something, travel somewhere, or be something.
Why? The boy who asked had caught her attention earlier. He seemed indifferent to everything that was going on around him. A couple of the kids had said something to him, but hed ignored them as if they werent there or, more appropriately, as if he werent entirely there himself. Briefly she wondered if he were on drugs.
Why? Brynn repeated. Because dreaming is a necessary part of life, like eating or sleeping. Sometimes we just forget about it, is all. Well be exploring more about this later, but I guarantee you one thing, by the end of this quarter, therell be plenty for you to think and dream about.
You know, said the girl whod claimed the desk closest to the door, you might be all right, but its going to take some doing, getting used to a teacher who doesnt look any older than one of us.
She isnt married, either. Say, Teach, do you want me to set you up? Emilio asked. I got an older brother who could use a chick like you.
Thanks, but no thanks, Brynn answered, reaching for her attendance book. Now that you know about me, its time for me to learn something about each one of you.
But we dont know you! two or three protested in turn.
Brynn held the book against her breast and sighed. What other information do you need?
Questions were tossed at her in every which direction. She put a stop to them with a wave of her hand. Listen, Ill give you the basics and then well have to get started. My first name is Brynn.
How many kids in your family?
Eight.
Eight!
Shes Irish and Catholic, aint she?
Brynn ignored the comment. Im the fourth oldest and the first girl. My oldest brother is thirty-three and my youngest sister is sixteen. She lowered the grade book and called out, Yolanda Aguilar.
Here. The Hispanic girl raised her hand and waved enthusiastically.
Brynn looked at Yolanda and made a notation next to the girls name. Emilio Alcantara is here, she said, making a second notation.
What are you writing down about me? Emilio demanded. He sat up on his chair and craned his neck toward her as if that would be enough to read what shed written.
I said you sat in the front row and revealed leadership characteristics.
I do? He sounded surprised.
Whatd you say about me? Yolanda asked.
That youre energetic and personable.
Howd you know that?
Yeah, howd you figure that about Yolanda? another boy demanded, then leaned over to the student at the desk next to him. Whats personable mean?
Shhh, Im next and I want to know what shes gonna say about me.
Modesto Diaz, Brynn called out, looking at the youth above the grade book.
He curled his upper lip and snarled at her. Yo.
Brynn added her comment to the book.
Whatd ya say? Modesto insisted, straightening. He was halfway out of his seat. I gotta right to know since you told the others.
I wrote down that you have a flair for the dramatic.
Whats that mean? Modesto asked Emilio under his breath.
The hell if I know, Emilio complained. Shes gonna be one weird teacher.
By lunchtime Brynn was convinced Emilio was right. She was completely out of touch with their world. Her vocabulary, which shed never thought of as especially advanced, served to confuse her students. Half the morning was spent repeating in simpler terms what shed said previously.
Shed no more than handed out The Diary of Anne Frank and briefly described to them Annes story when the bell rang for their first break. The classroom emptied so fast, one would think the school was on fire.
Brynn sat down at her desk and exhaled sharply, weary to the bone. This was her first day in an inner-city high school, and she was going to need helplots of help, and she didnt expect it to come in the form of the PTA.
Bowing her head, she murmured a simple prayer, asking for patience and guidance. She yearned to teach her students to dream, to look to the future with enthusiasm. She hungered for them to see beyond the troubles they faced day in and day out and reach for the stars, and she wanted to be the one to show them the way.

* * *

Brynns whispered prayer fluttered past the chipped blackboard, echoed silently through the scarred halls, as it winged its way toward heaven. The request soared, swiftly spanning the distance between man and God. Carried on the brisk winds of faith, guided by devotion, navigated by love, it arrived fresh and bright at the very feet of the Archangel Gabriel.
Brynn Cassidy, Gabriel repeated slowly as he flipped through the cumbersome book, marking the entry. He was writing when he glanced up to find Shirley, Goodness, and Mercy standing directly across the desk from him. Hed never seen the three look morehe hated the termangelic. Their wings were neatly folded in place and they smiled serenely as if the world were at their feet.
Its that time of year again, Goodness reminded him, grinning broadly.
Gabriels hand tightened around the quill pen. Heaven help him, he was going to be left to deal with these three lovable troublemakers once more.
Time of year for what? he asked. Gabriel was playing dumb in a stalling effort. For the past two years this trio of prayer ambassadors had visited earth, working their own unique brand of miracles. A sort of divine intervention run amuck.
Wed like to try our hand in the Big Apple, Mercy explained with limited patience. It was apparent she was eager to get her assignment and be on her way. Weve been looking forward to working together again, she reminded him primly. One would assume that with the success of the past two years wed have proven ourselves beyond question.
We dont mean to be impertinent, Goodness inserted, glaring at her fellow prayer ambassador, but I find myself agreeing with Mercy.
Brynn Cassidy, Shirley repeated softly, reading over Gabriels shoulder.
Gabriel deliberately closed the huge book, cutting off Shirleys view. The last thing he needed was for the former guardian angel to take a hankering for this particular assignment.
The students of Manhattan High would require a far more experienced angel than Shirley. Why, her tender heart would be mush by the end of a week, working with this group of adolescents. Frankly, Gabriel didnt expect Brynn Cassidy to last long herself.
Gabriel knew all about the young teacher. Her mother and grandfather had been praying for her for several years. As far as Gabriel was concerned, Brynn Cassidy was far more suited to teaching the proper young ladies of St. Mary Academy. Manhattan High was a graveyard of lost souls. An unseen storm cloud had settled over the school, feeding on tears yet to be shed and broken promises. Brynns humble faith was like a newborn lamb placed in the midst of ravenous wolves. Shed quickly be devoured. Naturally Gabriel would do what he could to aid her, but one ill-equipped prayer ambassador would hardly be sufficient.
Brynn needs me, Shirley said, looking him squarely in the eye.
She needs an army. I dont mean to discourage you, Gabriel said, feeling mildly guilty, Im sure well find a more appropriate assignment for you. A less complicated request, he muttered more to himself than to Shirley.
As he recalled, a prayer request had come in that morning from a teenage girl in Boston who needed a date for prom night. Surely Shirley could scrounge up a decent young man. As for Goodness and Mercy, why, there were any number of less demanding requests with which to occupy them.
Give me a minute, he said, flipping through the unwieldy book, finding a page, and running his index finger down the large number of entries. Im sure Ill come up with something appropriate for each of you.
No arguments? Goodness asked, her eyes wide with surprise.
Wow, maybe we have proven ourselves.
I want to talk to Goodness about Hannah Morganstern, Gabriel said, his brow creased with contemplation.
Yes, Goodness answered excitedly.
Her family owns one of the most popular delis in all of New York, the Archangel went on to explain.
Goodness and Mercy looked at each other and squealed with delight. The two joined hands and danced a happy jig around his desk, kicking up their heels.
What about me? Mercy asked, breathless with excitement.
Jenny Lancaster, Gabriel said decisively. She moved to New York from Custer, Montana, three years ago, hoping to make a name for herself on Broadway.
Has she?
No, Gabriel said with a sigh of regret. Its time to go home, only she cant bear to face that. You see, she doesnt want to disappoint her family, and Im afraid shes stretched the truth and told them things that werent altogether true. Youre going to have to help her make the decision.
I can do it.
Without moving the Statue of Liberty? Gabriel demanded.
Thats kid stuff, Goodness muttered.
Maybe so, but is Rockefeller Center safe?
The two found little humor in his question. It was then that Gabriel noticed that Shirley had disappeared.
Wheres Shirley?
Goodness and Mercy glanced over their shoulders. I havent a clue.
I didnt see her leave.
Gabriel had a sneaking suspicion he already knew where the prayer ambassador had disappeared to. Wait here, he instructed impatiently. He raised his massive arms and with one wide, sweeping motion parted the clouds of heaven and descended from paradise to the mundane world.
He found Shirley right where he suspected: in an inner-city classroom, keeping a close watch on a young, inexperienced schoolteacher.

Brynn finished her lunch and poured herself a cup of coffee. Standing at the window, she looked out over the concrete jungle that made up the city.
St. Philips, the cathedral located across the street, had once been the pride of the diocese. The stained-glass windows, depicting the Stations of the Cross, had aged badly over the years. A flight of concrete steps led to the eight-foot-tall double doors. The church was a magnificent piece of Gothic architecture, but like Manhattan High, it had fallen upon harsh economic times.
When Brynn had first been approached about this assignment, shed visited New York City and loved it. There was a rhythm to the city, a musical beat that had set her heart to racing.
In her minds eye came a picture of prosperity and abundance. Not of wealth or riches in the monetary sense, but of purpose. The feeling had stayed with her in the days that followed, and when shed penned her name to the contract, Brynn had felt instinctively that she was doing the right thing.
Following the break, Brynn headed down the crowded hallway. Several students leaned against their lockers in passionate embraces. This was a foreign element to Brynn, since shed attended a parochial girls high school as well as taught in one. It was a bit of a shock to discover how friendly students were allowed to get in the school hallway.
A ruckus broke out at the end of the corridor, and several heated words in Spanish flew at her like fiery darts. Brynns knowledge of the language was limited, but she was well aware the two boys werent exchanging pleasantries.
After making her way to the problem, she found Emilio Alcantara and an African American she didnt know staring each other down. A crowd had circled around the two.
Is there a problem here? Brynn asked, maneuvering into the tight circle.
If you know whats good for you, Teach, youd better leave, Emilio advised.
I cant do that, and now I suggest you two boys give it up and go about your business. Fighting isnt going to solve anything.
The black boy looked at her with such unadulterated hatred that for a wild second Brynn was caught speechless. Shed never had a student, or anyone else, look at her in quite that way.
A shiver ran up her spine when she noticed both boys had knives. She grabbed Suzie Chang, the shy girl from her class, by the shoulder. Get help immediately, she ordered, her heart in her throat.
Suzie took off running.
By then the Hispanic youths had lined one side of the hallway and the blacks dominated the second half. The two ethnic groups glared at one another, waiting for an excuse, any excuse, to fight. The atmosphere was explosive, the tension as tightly strung as a fiddle.
Without thinking, Brynn positioned herself between the two boys. Her head was spinning and she felt lightheaded with fear. Stop, she ordered in her most authoritative voice, but the request sounded hollow even to her own ears.
The sound of footsteps running toward her was so welcome, Brynn nearly collapsed with relief. A male teacher and a janitor exploded onto the scene, and the knives disappeared as if by magic. Emilio and the other youth looked as if they were the best of friends. Emilio wrapped his arm around the black youth.
Whats happening, bro?
Whats going on here? Doug Keast, the teacher, demanded, looking to Brynn.
Emilio and this young man were involved in an exchange of words. Everythings under control now. Thanks for your help.
Knives?
Brynn hesitated, not wanting to rat on Emilio but at the same time unwilling to lie. They both drew out knives, but
I dont need to know anything more than that, Doug barked, escorting both youths to the principals office. Ill need you to make a statement.
Whats going to happen? Brynn asked, scurrying behind Doug and Emilio. A second male teacher appeared to escort the other boy.
Im gonna be suspended, Emilio said, glaring at her as if shed turned traitor on him. I thought you were different, he spat out. You aint no different than any of the other teachers. His dark eyes, leveled at her, were filled with animosity.
Listen here, Emilio, it wasnt me who got involved in an altercation.
A what? You know, if youre going to teach English, the least you could do is learn to speak it first.
A fight, she said, losing her patience. She was half trotting in order to keep up with Dougs long-legged stride. Her fellow teacher was making haste for Mr. Whalens office.
You know the rules about knives on school property, Doug told Emilio.
What knife? the youth demanded. She was seeing things. I didnt have any knife, and neither did Grover, aint that right, bro?
The new teach needs glasses, Grover claimed, sounding as if theyd been strolling through a bed of wildflowers.
Tell him, Miss Cassidy, Emilio said, staring at her. There wasnt any sign of knives, now, was there?
If you expect me to lie on your behalf, I wont do it, Brynn told him in no uncertain terms. And if youre both expelled, then
Theyll be suspended for three days, Doug interrupted.
Then you have no one to blame but yourselves, she finished.
I aint coming back, Grover announced in chilling tones. School aint gonna help me or my homies. Im outta here, understand? He jerked his elbow free from the teacher and strolled out the door, letting it slam in his wake.
Good riddance, the man murmured.
Ill talk to him, Brynn said, going after Grover.
She hadnt taken two steps when Doug Keast stopped her. Let him go.
But
Hes right. Grovers nothing but bad news. Doug looked to Emilio as if to suggest the Hispanic boy fell into the same category.
Emilios different, Brynn insisted. Grovers choosing to give up, to fail. Emilios got a future.
Yeah, Emilio muttered, pulling himself free of Dougs hold. Some future. First you tell me what a great leader I am and then you get me kicked out of school. Having made that little speech, he slumped down on the worn vinyl sofa outside Mr. Whalens office.

Did you see the knives? Gabriel asked Shirley gently. They were real, and the risk to Brynn is equally grave. She could have been seriously hurt.
The womans in profound need of heavenly intervention, Shirley said forcefully. In other words, this teacher needs me.
Ah ... Gabriel hated to be the one to break the news, but Shirley was out of her league. Hed hoped the prayer ambassador would see it for herself, but now he wasnt so sure.
I know what youre thinking, Shirley said, eager to prove herself. You think Im in way over my head.
My thoughts were running along those lines, Gabriel admitted.
I believe I could help Brynn, Shirley insisted, and then stiffened her shoulders. Youre the one in charge of handling the prayer assignments, and I have no option but to accept your decision, but I want to help Brynn Cassidy teach her students to dream. I want to stand at her side when their eyes light up with discovery, and I especially long to be there when she tells them about faith in God.
There are other teachers who need you, Gabriel assured her. And they arent trapped in a poor neighborhood school.
I see, Shirley whispered, hanging her head in defeat.
Perhaps another year, Gabriel suggested.
Perhaps. The word was so low, it dragged against the floor.
Gently patting the discouraged angel on her shoulder, Gabriel escorted her back to heaven, where Goodness and Mercy awaited their return.
Ill find another assignment for Shirley in a moment, he promised, but first, I want to introduce Goodness to Hannah Morganstern.

Two
Hannah who? Goodness asked, looking puzzled.
Morganstern, Gabriel supplied. The prayer request came in from Hannahs mother and grandmother. They want her to make a good marriage. He opened the cumbersome book that listed the incoming prayer requests and smoothly folded back the page. Running his index finger down a list of names, he paused when he located Hannahs.
Gabriel smiled, pleased with himself. This request would be a simple matter and would quickly appease the novice prayer ambassador. The sooner Goodness was back where she belonged, the better for all concerned.
As it happened, Hannah was close to becoming engaged to Carl Rabinsky, the rabbis son. Carl was a fine, upstanding young man with a bright future.
Hannahs family was delighted that their daughter had chosen such an outstanding marriage candidate. A professional matchmaker couldnt have come up with a better choice. Goodness would soon recognize how advantageous such a marriage would be for Hannah. Naturally the prayer ambassador would accept full credit for the match, which was fine with Gabriel as long as she left well enough alone.
By his best estimate, Gabriel would have Goodness out of harms way within a day or two. Heaven knew he wouldnt rest until all three were back where they belonged. There was no telling the trouble they could rouse in the Big Apple. Gabriel cringed involuntarily at the thought of Shirley, Goodness, and Mercy loose on the unsuspecting souls of New York City.
They did try. Hed give them that much. The three angels were dear hearts, but frankly they were trouble with a capital T. There was no end to the mischief they managed to muster each Christmas. The season was hectic enough without having to deal with those three.
When can I see Hannah? Goodness asked eagerly.
When are you going to tell me more about Jenny Lancaster? Mercy asked, crowding her way between him and Goodness. The smallest of the three juggled her elbows until shed jockeyed herself into position. Im looking forward to meeting Jenny.
Its my turn, Goodness reminded her friend sternly.
Be patient, Gabriel advised the two. At times he felt like a referee at a hockey match. Goodness, let me take you down to meet Hannah.
I want to come, Mercy insisted.
Me, too. Shirley was determined not to be left behind.
Gabriel hadnt planned on making an expedition out of this. Hed thought it would be a simple matter to point out Hannah to Goodness, then introduce her to Carl. Theyd be back before either of Goodnesss friends had time to miss her. He was about to reassure Mercy and Shirley of this when he noticed that the three had looped their arms together. They stood before him with a determination that would have shook Moses before that unfortunate incident on Mt. Sinai.
All right, all right, he grumbled under his breath. These particular prayer ambassadors had a way about them that foiled him at every turn. Only this year, he was simplifying matters. Their assignments were all straightforward requests that would bring them back to heaven in record time. Nothing complicated. Nothing involved. Assignments each one should be able to arrange in record time. This Christmas, Gabriel promised himself, wouldnt be like the past two.
Stepping away from the others, the archangel raised his massive arms and with one sure movement parted the massive clouds of heaven. A thin layer of mist remained, and gradually he was able to make out the earth below. Soon the four of them narrowed in on the big city. Skyscrapers punctured the sky. The top floors of the twin towers of the World Trade Center came clearly into focus. Then he viewed the landmark Brooklyn Bridge, followed by Times Square.
This is New York City? Goodness breathed in awe.
My heavens, whats that? Mercy asked, pointing to the street below.
Gabriel grinned. His timing couldnt have been better. Theyd arrived in time to witness Macys Thanksgiving Day parade. A giant balloon replica of a popular comic-strip dog floated far above the street, steered by several silly-looking adults dressed in elf costumes.
It looks like some kind of parade, Shirley answered before he had a chance to explain.
A marching band, the trombone players with their instruments aiming skyward, blared a lively rendition of an easily recognizable Christmas ditty. A fierce pounding of drums added to the excitement of the music.
This is wonderful, Goodness said, and spread-eagled herself across the top of a blossom-laden float. Six men dressed as toy soldiers stood guard over an open treasure chest filled with a variety of brightly wrapped gifts in gold and silver paper.
You wanted to meet Hannah, Gabriel reminded her, hiding a smile. Goodnesss eyes were as round as a two-year-old childs.
In a minute, Goodness told him. It was apparent she was more interested in watching the parade than in meeting her young charge.
With a stiff-kneed walk, one of the toy soldiers marched to the end of the float. A fairy princess appeared, with dainty wings strapped to her back, and scooped up handfuls of candy. Smiling, she tossed them into the cheering crowd.
You call those wings? Mercy asked on a disdainful note.
Were here to meet Hannah Morganstern, Gabriel felt obligated to remind the three.
Im ready, Goodness announced, reluctantly tearing herself away from the dazzling scene.
If we must, Mercy added with a decided lack of enthusiasm.
Do you think Brynn Cassidys here? Shirleys gaze scanned the thick crowds that crammed the cement sidewalks. What about the kids from the school? Theyd come, wouldnt they?
Were supposed to meet Hannah, remember? Gabriel reminded Shirley. He should have known it would be a mistake to bring the others. Theres Hannah now, he said in an effort to divert their attention. He motioned toward a group of parade watchers standing along Central Park West.
Hannahs the petite woman with the blue angel scarf tied around her neck. Gabriel had a soft spot in his heart when it came to the gentle Jewish woman. She reminded him of Rebecca, the young woman God had chosen for Abrahams only son.
Shes lovely.
Gabriel agreed. Hannahs the only child, born later in life to a devoted couple. Ruth Morganstern prayed faithfully for many years for a daughter.
Leah Lundberg did the same, Mercy reminded Gabriel. I dont understand why God makes some couples wait.
Its not for us to question.
I know, Mercy agreed, His timing is always perfect.
Getting back to Hannah, Gabriel tried again. The Morgansterns have raised their daughter well. They couldnt be more proud of her, and rightly so. Hannah is well loved by many.
Do you mind if Shirley and I entertain ourselves for a few moments? Mercy asked, and her eyes twinkled with mischief. Gabriel noticed the angel was staring at the reader board above Times Square.
You can go on without us, Shirley insisted.
No way. Listen, you two. Shirley ... Mercy, Gabriel stuttered, wanting to stop them before they vanished. Unfortunately he was too late. He clenched his jaw and turned to Goodness.
You dont have a thing to worry about, Goodness assured him. They can take care of themselves.
That was what Gabriel was afraid of.
He was about to go after Mercy and Shirley himself when Goodness tugged at his sleeve. Tell me what you know about Hannah Morganstern. You said her mother and grandmother are looking for Hannah to make a good marriage.
Yes, he muttered. He would need his wits to make this assignment sound more difficult than it was.
Well, if thats the case, Goodness muttered, her shoulders heaving with a deliberate sigh, I certainly hope she isnt interested in the young man shes with. Its perfectly obvious they arent the least bit suited.
Gabriels attention went back to the street corner where hed last seen Hannah.
Whats wrong with Carl Rabinsky? he demanded.
Just look.

Carl, couldnt we please stay a bit longer? Hannah asked. She pleaded with him with her eyes, hoping she could find a way to change his mind. Carl had agreed to attend the Thanksgiving Day parade with her, but theyd barely arrived and already he was anxious to leave. She knew he was having trouble with the headmaster at the Hebrew academy where he taught and had been preoccupied most of the day.
Ten minutes more, then, Carl conceded indulgently. His gloved hand squeezed hers. Im sorry, but I told you earlier that this just isnt my thing.
I know. Hannah was grateful hed consented to come. She only wished he could enjoy the festivities as much as she did. Hannah found the merrymaking contagiousthe children, the excitement, the wonderful silliness that surrounded this time of year.
Oh, Carl, look, she said, pointing toward the huge float making its way down the wide street. Its a scene from the Nutcracker Suite.
Carl smiled tolerantly and pointedly glanced at his watch. Five more minutes, he announced under his breath. If you want to see more of the parade, you can watch it on television.
Television. Never. Hannah refused to allow his stick-in-the-mud attitude to spoil her fun. Standing on the tips of her toes, she peered down the bustling street, hoping to catch a glimpse of what was coming next. The distinct tones of an approaching band floated toward her.
Unable to see, she edged her way into the crowd until she was wedged against the waist-high barrier to the street. She stayed there until the marching musicians passed, applauding their efforts. The tall, distinguished-looking man standing next to her whistled boisterously. Hannah looked up at him and smiled warmly. Their eyes met, and he returned the friendly gesture.
The man looked vaguely familiar, but then it wasnt uncommon for Hannah to see someone she thought she knew. Working in the family-owned, kosher-style deli, she met literally hundreds of people on a daily basis.
His eyes were a deep, rich shade of coffee brown. They sparkled with delight as he looked down at her. He had a kind face, appealing but not particularly handsome. His hair needed to be trimmed, but that gave him a rumble-tumble look that she found endearing. It was apparent he was some kind of businessman; she could tell that much from the way he dressed and the way he stood. Besides, if he frequented her parents deli, then chances were he worked in one of the office buildings close by.
Do I know you? he asked, frowning slightly.
Im Hannah Morganstern, she said. Most people recognize me from my parents deli.
Of course. Your father serves the best pastrami in town. He held out his hand to her. Im Joshua Shadduck.
Hello, Joshua. The noise level made it difficult to carry on a conversation.
They shook hands, and Hannah glanced over her shoulder, looking for Carl. He wasnt there. She scanned the crowd once more, certain he wouldnt have left her intentionally. Carl would never do that, yet he was nowhere in sight. Anxious now, she stood on her tiptoes and looked around.
Oh, dear, she whispered, and bit into her lower lip.
Is something wrong? Joshua lowered his head close to her so she could hear him.
My friend. Im afraid weve gotten separated.
That happens in crowds like these.
I know, but ... She continued to study the huge throng. The crowd was moving, milling about. I didnt mean to leave him behind. Carl would be worried and flustered. If she ever hoped to talk him into attending another parade, hed be sure to remind her of this.
Ill help you look, Joshua offered.
You dont need to do that. She was the one to blame. If she hadnt been so impatient to see what was ahead, she wouldnt have lost Carl.
Tell me what he looks like, Joshua suggested. Since he was head and shoulders taller than she, his chances of finding Carl were far better than her own.
Let me think, she mumbled. She went with the most obvious: his clothing. He had on a black wool overcoat.
Joshua leveled his eyes on her, amusement bracketing the sides of his mouth. Hannah, every man here has on a black wool overcoat.
Yes ... I know. Hes five ten or so, and ... hes probably frowning. He only came because I wanted to see the parade, and hes probably annoyed with me for disappearing like this.
A frowning man, five ten, in a black wool overcoat.
Their eyes met once more, and for no reason Hannah could explain, they both started laughing.
Hes probably given up on me and left, she conceded, and glanced longingly over her shoulder, not wanting to miss the rest of the parade. I should probably go back myself, she said with regret.
Why? Your friend can find his own way home, cant he?
Yes, but ...
Stay, he urged. His hand cupped her elbow, his touch light and encouraging. His eyes smiled with warmth and pleasure, something shed found sadly lacking in Carl. Her friend had only tolerated the merriment. Macys parade was one more thing Carl considered frivolous and impractical. He often mentioned the overwhelming cost of such a production. To Carls way of thinking, this money would be better spent feeding the hungry or aiding the homeless.
Hannah had no argument to offer. The parade would go on no matter how wasteful Carl found it to be, and she could see no reason not to enjoy it.
Oh, look, she said, pointing down the street at the oncoming float. She glanced at Joshua and discovered that he viewed the winter festival creation with the same keen enjoyment and wonder that she did.
One lazy snowflake drifted down from the lead gray sky. Another soon followed.
Snow! Delighted, Hannah held up her hand to catch a fluffy flake. It melted in the palm of her hand.
Its a perfect conclusion to the parade, dont you think? Joshua asked. Pressed against him as she was, Hannah couldnt help noticing how warm and close he was.
Is it over? Already? She didnt want it to be.
Do you have to hurry back? Joshua asked. We could take a short stroll in Central Park and enjoy the snow.
It went without saying that she shouldnt. Her family would be waiting for her. They assumed she was with Carl, not some strange man she barely recognized. Her father had always been protective of her. She was his jewel. Hannah remembered how pleased her parents had been when shed first started dating Carl. The fact that he was a rabbis son added to their endorsement of the young man.
A stroll in Central Park, she repeated, and then before she could change her mind, she nodded. Her willingness to spend time with him, a man who was little more than a stranger, would be frowned upon by everyone concerned.

Goodness, Gabriel warned, dont even think about it.
About what? The fact that the archangel was traveling with her had cramped her style considerably.
I know what youve got up your sleeve.
What? Archangels knew so little about romance; what else was she to do? Gabriel thought Carl Rabinsky was the perfect husband for Hannah. Anyone with half a brain could see how ill suited the young couple was. Carl was a determined man, sincere in his faith. Unfortunately hed fallen into a common trap. He was big on religion and weak on faith.
I can see what youre thinking and Im telling you right now, it isnt going to work, Gabriel continued, disapproval beaming from his piercing eyes. Joshua Shadduck is an important attorney. The two have nothing in common.
Joshua is Jewish, isnt he?
Yes, but that has nothing to do with the issues here. Goodness, listen to me. Youre stirring up a hornets nest if you continue in this vein. I absolutely forbid it, do you understand?
Yes, but
Therere no buts about it. Gabriels brow was knit with a thick frown. He opened his mouth and Goodness was convinced he was about to argue further with her when a breathless but elated Shirley arrived.
I found Brynn Cassidy, the other angel announced gleefully. Shes with Suzie Chang, one of the girls from her class.
Were discussing something important here, Goodness said. She refused to let Shirley interrupt her now. Not when she was about to make an important point. She glared at the archangel. Didnt you notice Joshua and Hannah together? Its as plain as the wings on your back that theyre right for each other. Anyone with eyes would recognize how lonely Joshua was. Success wasnt all it was cracked up to be. It seemed to her that hed come to this realization himself recently. As far as Goodness could tell, Hannah Morganstern complemented his life, and she wasnt about to let Gabriel tell her otherwise.
What Im saying, Gabriel insisted, is that you must leave well enough alone. You think I didnt notice the way you manipulated Hannah and Joshua? Im not blind. You practically steered her right into him.
Goodness released a pent-up sigh. Dealing with Gabriel often required persistence. I realize you find this difficult to believe, but Im something of an expert in matters involving the heart. Remember last year?
Im not likely to forget it, the archangel muttered. I was nearly sent back to singing with the choir because of you three.
Goodness ignored his comment, which she was sure was a gross exaggeration.
Promise me youll keep your hands off of Hannah and Joshua, Gabriel warned, otherwise Ill have you restringing harps for the rest of your days.
The threat was an empty one, and Goodness knew it.
Did anyone hear me? Shirley asked excitedly. I actually located Brynn Cassidy. Dont you realize what a miracle that was in this crowd?
I heard you, Gabriel told her with a sour look. Miracle or not, you wont be working with Brynn Cassidy. The schoolteacher needs far more help than you can offer. You cant work with Brynn and those kids from the high school. I have another assignment waiting for you, Gabriel insisted with a hard edge to his voice.
But
Its a take-it-or-leave-it situation.
Goodness feared that Shirley was about to blow it. She was relieved when the other angel snapped her mouth closed. At times, Shirley could be downright argumentative. If Shirley made the mistake of debating this Brynn Cassidy issue, the archangel just might pull all three of them out of New York City. Goodness didnt want that to happen just when matters were beginning to look promising.
Without being obvious, she scanned the dispersing crowds, hoping to catch a glimpse of Hannah and Joshua. She found them strolling through Central Park, deep in conversation. The two were oblivious of everything around them. They made a striking couple, she mused, immeasurably pleased with herself. Archangels might be high-and-mighty creatures, but they knew little of dealing with humans and love. When it came to affairs of the heart, Goodness was far more knowledgeable than Gabriel. The problem, and admittedly it was a big one, was convincing him of that.

Joshua wasnt sure what had happened to him. Hed suggested this walk in the park with Hannah for purely selfish reasons. The Thanksgiving Day parade had been enjoyable, but it hadnt been nearly as much fun until Hannah had joined him.
He remembered her with a clarity that surprised him. She was the daughter of the deli owner. When hed claimed her father made the best pastrami in town, he hadnt been exaggerating. Over the last few years hed visited the deli a number of times, but generally he had his lunch delivered. Hannah might well have been to his office.
Hannah was a delicate creature, beautiful in ways that struck a mans soul. She wasnt like the crisp, business professionals he knew and worked with on a daily basis. She inspired him with her gentle goodness. Although hed never met the man she was withCarl, if he remembered his name correctlyalready he found he didnt much like him. If Joshua had become separated from Hannah in a crowd, it would have taken a lot more than a little congestion for him to stop searching for her. Hannah hadnt said a lot, but it was obvious Carl didnt enjoy parades.
Joshua had taken Hannahs hand while strolling through the park. The snow had long since stopped, but the afternoon remained crisp and cold. A perfect winter day.
The moment their hands linked, Joshua experienced a faint stirring of emotion. Faint stirring, nothing, he mused with a bleak smile. It felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach with a pipe iron.
He wondered if this was the woman hed been searching for all these months. He certainly hadnt expected her to be the daughter of a deli owner. It didnt matter, he decided. Who was he to question fate? Theyd met, and being with her, laughing, joking, talking, had felt instinctively right. Never had he been more comfortable with anyone.
It embarrassed him, the way he couldnt stop staring at her. She had such beautiful eyes, but then everything about Hannah was beautiful. She was guileless and genuine, and when she looked up and blinked, Josh swore he could see all the way to her soul.
Weve been talking all this time and I never asked where you work, Hannah commented.
Im an attorney. He would have mentioned the name of the law firm, one of the most prestigious in Manhattan, but he didnt want to sound as though he were bragging. Knowing Hannah, he doubted that it would impress her. More than likely she wouldnt recognize the name of the firm.
A lawyer. She said this as if the information distressed her.
You dont like attorneys?
No, its not that. I think there are some wonderful attorneys, only ...
Yes, he prodded.
My parents were recently involved in a frivolous lawsuit, and my dads convinced the real culprits in the case were the lawyers. Im afraid hes developed something of a prejudice, but I dont think that will last long.
Good. Id hate to get off on the wrong foot with your family.
At the mention of her parents, Hannah looked at her watch. Oh, dear, she said anxiously. I didnt realize how late it was. She took several steps backward. Thank you for a wonderful time. Im sorry to rush off like this.
Shed turned and was speed-walking away from him before hed had time to react. Hannah, he called.
She spun around.
Id like to see you again.
Her eyes were wide, and she seemed to hesitate. Joshua decided it was best not to press her.
Dont worry, he said. Ill stop in at the deli and we can talk about it then.
She nodded abruptly, and it was plain she was in a hurry to get away.
If itll reassure you, Ill avoid mentioning Im an attorney.
Her beautiful eyes brightened with a soft smile before she hurried out of the park. Josh buried his hands in his pockets and ambled along the walkway toward Cherry Hill Fountain. He kicked lazily at burnt orange-colored leaves.
Josh found himself smiling broadly. His patience had paid off. For nearly thirty years hed been waiting to meet a woman like Hannah Morganstern. To think all this time shed been right under his nose. He threw back his head and laughed. The sound of his delight echoed through the park.

Hannah hurried into the apartment on top of the family deli, stripping the blue scarf from her neck.
Im home.
Thank heaven youre home; I was worried, youre so late, her mother said, planting her hand over her heart as she stepped out of the kitchen. Your father and I didnt know what to think when Carl phoned and asked if youd returned safely.
The parade was wonderful, Hannah said.
What happened with Carl? Her father stood with the morning paper clenched in his hands. He studied her over the top of his spectacles.
I dont know, Hannah told them, walking into the kitchen. The smells of turkey and sage, pumpkin pie and applesauce, that greeted her caused her to pause and inhale deeply. Her stomach growled, reminding her how hungry she was.
Carl claims you disappeared into the crowd.
I wanted to get a closer look at the floats, Hannah explained as she lifted the lid off a cast-iron kettle. Broth simmered with a mixture of savory herbs floating on the slowly churning surface.
Theres nothing to worry about now that youre back safe and sound, her father muttered, studying his daughter as though he expected something of her. Hannah knew exactly what her family was hoping. They wanted Carl to ask for her hand in marriage.
Carl said hed be by later, Ruth Morganstern said, and shared a secret look with her husband of many years. The exchange confirmed Hannahs suspicions.
We both think the world of Carl, her father told Hannah unnecessarily. Hes a good man.
Dependable, her mother added.
Honorable.
A righteous man. Her mother nodded for emphasis.
Hannah offered them both a shaky smile and headed toward her bedroom. She didnt want to discuss Carl, not when her head was spinning from her time with another man. Im going to change my shoes and then Ill be back to help you with dinner.
Her father looped his arms around Ruths shoulders. Take your time, her mother called out after her. Dinner wont be ready for some time yet.
Inside her bedroom, Hannah slumped on the edge of her mattress. It would be impossible to tell them about meeting Joshua now. He was the man who caused her heart to sing. She couldnt disappoint them. Not with her family extolling Carls virtues.
Hannah had only briefly discussed marriage with Carl. Their parents had been the ones who frequently spoke of the two entering into an agreement. As far as Carls family was concerned, the marriage was a foregone conclusion. Her parents seemed to feel the same way.
Hannah lay back and stared up at the bedroom ceiling. Carl was a wonderful man. He was everything her parents had said and much more. Someday she probably would marry Carl.
She closed her eyes and thought about what their lives would be like together. She liked Carl, enjoyed his company. When he kissed her it was something sweet and gentle. But try as she might, Hannah couldnt imagine Carl ever being passionate. A smile cracked her lips, and she chided herself silently.
In her minds eye she thought about the children she might have with Carl. But instead of conjuring up babies, her mind filled with Joshua Shadduck.
She shook her head in an effort to dispel the image. If only he wasnt an attorney. If only shed met him last year at this time. If only ...
Hannah.
Guiltily she bolted off the bed. Yes, Mama.
Carls on the phone. He wants to know what took you so long. Hes been worried. You should have phoned him first thing.
Hurriedly Hannah reached for her shoes. Tell him Ill be right there.

Hannah will marry Carl, Gabriel said as if he needed to convince himself.
Goodness was wise enough to say nothing. Shed learned the hard way that it was often more advantageous to hold ones tongue with the archangel.
You understand this, dont you? Gabriel asked pointedly.
Im sure youre right, the prayer ambassador answered without emotion. It demanded everything she had to hide her true feelings.
Gabriel studied her with a weary look. Youre sure you can handle this case?
Positive. She beamed him her brightest, most innocent smile.
No monkey business.
Goodnesss eyes rounded with indignation. I wouldnt dream of it.
Just remember that promise.
Can I please meet Jenny Lancaster now? Mercy asked.
Goodness wanted to kiss her friend for distracting Gabriel. She didnt know how much longer she would have been able to hide her feelings.
Ah, yes. Jenny. Gabriel turned his attention away from Goodness and exhaled sharply. Id almost forgotten. Now theres a sorry case. Let me take you to her now.

Three
Jenny, wake up. Michelle Jordan burst into the bedroom and pulled open the thick drapes. Brilliant sunlight spilled into the room as Jenny Lancaster struggled to an upright position.
What time is it? she asked, yawning loudly. It couldnt be morning. Not yet. Not so soon. Her eyes burned and it felt as though she hadnt slept more than an hour or two.
Its party time. Michelle dramatically threw her arms into the air.
Jenny collapsed against her pillow. Not for me.
For both of us, girl. Michelle curled up at the foot of Jennys bed. John Petermans sent out a casting call for a new Lehman musical. Hes going to need twenty singers and dancers. I dont know about you, but I intend to be one of those who ends up on stage opening night. Now you can come along and audition with me, or you can sleep the rest of your life away.
Jenny closed her eyes. The choice shouldnt be this difficult. There was a time when she would have leapt out of bed, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, grabbed her dancing shoes, and headed out the front door. Not so these days. At twenty-three Jenny Lancaster felt like a has-been. Or, more appropriate, a never-was.
Are you coming or not?
Another cattle call. Jenny had given up counting the number of times shed set her heart on getting a bit part on Broadway. Off Broadway, near Broadway. She didnt care. This was her dream. Her goal. Her ambition.
Shed left Custer, Montana, blessedly naive about the cutthroat world of the stage. Three years later she felt washed-out, washed-up, and ready for the wringer.
Three years was a long time to subsist on ones dreams. Jenny would have thrown in the towel a long time before now if it hadnt been for one thing. Her family and friends back home believed in her. She was the bright, shining star the community had pinned its hopes upon. Back home she could outsing, outdance, and outact anyone in town. But in New York she was just another pretty face with talent.
Twenty singers and dancers, Jenny repeated, still trying to decide if another audition was worth all the pain involved. She wasnt sure her heart could stand another rejection. Does twenty singers and twenty dancers mean Peterman needs forty people?
I dont know, Michelle said with her characteristic boundless energy. It doesnt matter, does it?
It did. Jenny sat upright and rubbed a hand down her face. I dont know if Im up to this. Rejection hurts. Frankly Im not sure this is what I really want anymore, she whispered. Admitting this to her best friend was hard, but it needed to be said. She loved New York, but at heart she would always be a country girl.
You cant think of it like that. Rejections are simply the rungs to the ladder of success, Michelle announced, ever positive, ever confident.
Jenny sighed audibly. Youve been listening to motivational tapes again, havent you?
Michelle nodded. It shows that much?
Yes. Almost against her will, Jenny tossed aside the bedding and climbed off the mattress. All right, Ill go, but Ill need a few minutes to put myself together.
Good girl. Michelle pulled open her bottom drawer and took out a pair of black leotards. You dont want to spend the rest of your life waitressing at Arnolds, do you? Sure you get to sing, but it isnt anywhere close to Broadway.
Jenny sincerely hoped her roommate didnt let anyone back in Custer know that. The entire town firmly believed in her talent. Firmly believed in her.
After so much time, she couldnt continue to make up excuses why her name didnt light up a marquee. So shed stretched the truth. All right, shed elasticized it to the point where it was no longer recognizable. Performing in an Off Broadway musical was a long shot from her job as a singing waitress. Her friends and family believed she was well on the road to becoming a star. Little could be further from the truth. The light of ambition in Jennys eyes had dimmed considerably in the past three years. Not so long ago she would have jumped at the chance to audition for John Peterman. These days it was difficult to find the energy to drag herself out of bed.
I dont know if all this trouble is worth the effort, she confessed as she reached for her beige dancing shoes.
Dont talk like that, Jenny. This is your dream. She hugged her clenched fists to her breast. Dont let go now. Not when youre so close to making it all come true.
Jenny wished she shared her friends limitless enthusiasm. Michelle had been spurned as many times as Jenny. Yet her roommate continued to bounce back with renewed optimism, ever hopeful, ever cheerful, ever certain their big break was just around the next corner.
Part of Jennys reluctance had to do with the season. Christmastime away from her family had always been difficult, but it seemed even more so this year. Not only could she not afford the trip home, but once she was with her family and friends, Jenny realized, shed never be able to continue with the lie. One look and her parents would guess the truth.
Then there was Trey, their neighbor and longtime family friend. The boy next door, only anyone who met the cattle rancher would be hard-pressed to refer to him as a boy. Whenever Jenny became disheartened, she closed her eyes and remembered Trey.
Trey sitting atop his roan, his Stetson dipped low enough to disguise his eyes. He did that on purpose, she believed, just so she couldnt read his expression. His ranch bordered her fathers spread, so Trey had been around for as long as Jenny could remember.
While in school, Jenny had never given much thought to her handsome neighbor. In the years since shed been away, all that had changed. Whenever Jenny thought about home, it was Trey LaRue who popped into her mind. Trey riding the open range. Trey gentling a startled filly. Trey carrying a sick calf.
Of course he might be married by now, although she doubted it. Surely her mother would have said something if hed tied the knot. He was at the agepast it, reallywhen most ranchers married. Three years was a long time to be away from home. Although she remembered him, there was nothing to say he thought about her. A lot of things changed over time.
Are you ready? Michelle asked. Her roommates eagerness was a burr under Jennys saddle. By all that was right, she should be in bed. Her feet hadnt stopped hurting, nor had her back ceased to ache. Yet when shed finished dancing her heart out, singing until her vocal cords were strained, shed be due back at Arnolds.
Im as ready as Ill ever be. Even as she said the words, Jenny felt a sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach. Auditioning seemed a waste of effort. A waste of time. A waste of her heart.

Thats Jenny? Mercy asked Gabriel, standing in the corner of the tiny apartment.
Thats her.
Whos been praying for her? This question came from Goodness.
Mercy glared at her friend as if to say she was the one who would be asking the questions. After all, this was her assignment. Goodness had already met her charge, and as always, her friend was looking to meddle. Mercy knew that look and sincerely hoped Gabriel didnt.
The prayer originated from her neighbor in Montana, Gabriel answered. He frowned as he said it, as if plowing through his memory to put a name to the request. Trey LaRue, I believe, he said decisively. Treys known Jenny most of his life.
What has he asked?
Trey wants Jenny to come home for the holidays. It seems Jennys father has been feeling poorly. Dillon Lancaster wont ask his daughter to come home, and neither will Jennys mother. But both miss her terribly.
Why dont they visit New York? The solution seemed obvious to Mercy. She could easily manipulate the couple into heading for the wonders of the big city. Naturally Goodness and Shirley would be willing to lend her a hand. Already she was formulating a plan.
Why, the three of them had gotten so good at this sort of thing that it wouldnt surprise her if the Lancasters never guessed how theyd gotten to New York. A little celestial manipulation never hurt anyone.
Jenny has discouraged them from coming, Gabriel explained.
But why ... Mercy stopped herself. She already knew the answer. Jenny didnt want her family to know that shed lied. She wasnt starring in an Off Broadway production of Guys and Dolls. She was a waitress who quite literally sang for her supper. The line of success shed fed her family was gagging the young woman now. Jenny couldnt allow her parents to see where she worked. Being forced to admit the truth would humiliate her, so she continued to sabotage herself.
Lies were like that, Mercy realized, and wondered why humans so readily fell into that trap. Shed seen for herself how lies tainted human lives. Would they never learn?
What had started out as a slight exaggeration on Jennys part had turned into a monster that separated her from those she loved most. All because she hadnt wanted to disappoint her family. Instead shed disappointed herself.
This shouldnt be so hard, should it? Goodness said, looping her arm through Mercys. From what weve seen, Jennys ready to give it up and head back to Montana all on her own. Not just for Christmas, either. After all the disappointment shes suffered, shes more than ready for the green, green pastures of home. I cant say that I blame her. The time has come for her to face up to a few home truths.
Gabriels brow rose as if Goodnesss insight surprised him, and Mercys friend beamed. Is that a fact?
I wouldnt be so fast to form an opinion about Jenny, Gabriel warned. Shes very talented. I shouldnt need to remind you what God says about the desires of ones heart.
You mean she isnt ready to relinquish her dream? Mercy asked. Shed read the situation the same as Goodness. It seemed all Jenny needed was one good excuse to pack her bags and head home to Montana. And to Trey, the young man who cared enough to pray for her return.
Im not here to answer those questions, Gabriel said, but I dont think you should underestimate the power of a dream. Jenny has lived and breathed little else for three long years. Its true shes discouraged, but that doesnt mean shes willing to give up. You might be surprised to discover just how close she really is to seeing her name in lights. Dont forget, Gabriel warned, that the darkest hour is just before dawn. She could be on the brink of something big.
Do you really think so? Mercy felt the excitement churning inside her. But that enthusiasm slowly ground to a halt as she studied the archangel. Is there something you know that we dont? Gabriel occasionally withheld information in a blatant effort to teach them a lesson. Mercy had long suspected it to be so.
No, the archangel assured them. Just dont be so quick to assume the obvious.
My oh my, she is talented, Mercy admitted, watching her young charges agile leap across the stage.

It was at times like this that Jenny realized how badly she hungered for this dream. Once she stood on stage with the other dancers, her adrenaline started flowing, pumping her deflated hopes until they soared higher and higher.
This was where she belonged, where she longed to be. Her heart hummed with excitement, waiting for the opportunity to prove herself.
Jenny Lancaster. Her name was called by a man sitting in the theater seating. Since the lights blocked her view, the casting director was no more than a hoarse, detached voice. From her best guess, she figured he was somewhere in the first five or six rows.
Jenny stepped forward and handed the piano man her sheet music.
What will you be singing? asked the same uninterested voice.
She moved one step and peered into the dark.  Dont Cry for Me, Argentina. 
Fine. Give us your best eight bars.
It was always the same. Rarely did it vary. Jenny suspected she could have sung a tune from a Sesame Street production and no one would have known the difference, least of all the casting director. Hed made up his mind even before her turn had come, even before shed been given a chance to prove what she could do.
Argentina might not weep for her, but Jenny felt the tears welling up inside her. Tears of disappointment. Tears of struggle. Tears of a dream that refused to die.
The first chords from the piano filled the silence. Jenny hung her head and closed her eyes, allowing the music to transport her to another world. She drew in a deep breath and slowly lifted her head. No longer was Jenny Lancaster auditioning for a bit part; she was playing the role of her life. Within the magic of a few notes, she was transformed from a disillusioned waitress into the ambitious wife of a South American dictator.

Wow. Mercy was set back on her wings. That girl can sing.
She is talented, Shirley was quick to agree.
Incredible. Goodness seemed to be at a loss for words, which was completely unlike her.
Mercy knew she could accept no credit for Jennys skill; nevertheless she experienced a deep sense of pride that she should be assigned to this amazing young woman.
Her voice, why, its almost ...
Angelic, Gabriel supplied, grinning broadly. It was a rare treat to find the archangel in such good spirits.
Yes, Mercy agreed. Angelic.
You believe you can handle this request? he questioned.
Mercy was sure she could. Yes, she assured him confidently. Leave everything to me. Somehow, some way, Mercy would come up with the means of helping Jenny fulfill her dreams. With a little help from her friends.
Anyone with this much talent, this much heart, deserved a break. A bit of intercession from the heavenly realm never hurt. Naturally Mercy wasnt about to let Gabriel know her plans, but then what he didnt know couldnt hurt him.
And while she had her hand in Jennys life, Mercy decided, she might as well do what she could about getting the talented singer home for the holidays.
No funny stuff, Gabriel warned.
Mercy managed to look offended. Gabriel, please, you insult me.
I wont have you hot-wiring cars and sending them where you will.
Mercys shoulders went back in a display of outrage. Id never resort to anything that underhanded.
Gabriel didnt say anything for several moments. Then, scratching his head, he studied the three prayer ambassadors. Can anyone tell me why I dont believe you?

Four
Id like everyone to take out a clean piece of paper, Brynn instructed, standing in front of the classroom. It sounded like a simple enough request, one would think. But from the moaning and groaning, it was as if shed sprung a surprise quiz on them.
You arent going to make us write again, are you? Emilio Alcantara groaned aloud, voicing, Brynn suspected, the thoughts of half the class.
Yes, I am, she said, unwilling to let her students lack of enthusiasm dampen her spirits.
Yolanda leaned so far out of her desk toward Denzil Johnson that she nearly toppled onto the floor.
Yolanda, Brynn said, is there a problem?
I dont have any paper. I wanted to borrow a piece from Denzil.
Get your own paper, woman, the black youth protested. What do I look like, a friggin Wal-Mart?
I loaned you paper last week. Yolandas dark eyes snapped with outrage.
Thats because you were lucky enough to have me sit next to you. I never said nothin about paying you back.
Yolandas mouth thinned, and it looked as if she were about to explode when Suzie Chang saved the day.
I have an extra sheet she can use, the Chinese girl volunteered shyly, tearing off a clean page from her tablet and passing it across the aisle to Yolanda. The Hispanic girl grabbed it and glared at Denzil as if to say it would be a cold day in hell before he got anything from her again.
Thank you, Suzie, Brynn said, eager to return to the writing assignment.
What are you going to have us write about this time? Emilio asked. Not something stupid, I hope.
Teaching the value clarification portion of the class had proved to be the most difficult for Brynn. She wanted to make this as interesting and as much fun as she could, but she often found herself on a completely different wavelength from her students.
The incident with Emilio in the hallway was a prime example. The teenager had actually expected her to lie on his behalf. Emilio didnt understand why shed told the truth about the knife. Hed missed three days of school and consequently blamed her. He saw nothing wrong with his own behavior but seemed to feel that shed been the one to betray his trust.
It had taken the better part of another week for his sullen mood in class to disappear. She wasnt sure even now what shed done to get back into his good graces. Whatever it was, she was grateful. Emilio was a natural leader, so his attitude was quickly picked up by the others in class.
Ever since the incident with Emilio shed been subjected to an attitude of mistrust. It was as if shed fallen from grace in the eyes of her students.
First off, dont put your name on the top of the page.
You dont want our names? This clearly came as a surprise since shed so often instructed them to remember just that.
No names, she reiterated. Now Id like each of you to write one hundred and fifty words.
We gotta count them?
Thats about a page and a half, Brynn explained. The subject of your paper is this: If I could kiss anyone in this classroom, who would it be, and why.
For a moment the entire class looked at her as if they couldnt believe what shed said. Someone smothered a giggle and catcalls echoed across the room.
It didnt take anyone long to get involved in the project. Soon heads were bowed over the paper, and her students wrote feverishly. Brynn liked to involve her students in some type of writing assignment, often on a daily basis. She did this for a number of reasons, but first and foremost was an effort to require them to clarify their thoughts on certain subjects. She attempted to balance a serious topic one day, followed by a lighter one the next.
Although shed been teaching the class for a number of weeks now, whenever they were asked to write, her students put up a royal stink. Often they bombarded her with silly questions or employed other delay tactics in an effort to forestall the assignment.
Not this time. Looking at them now, writing as fast as their hands would allow, one would think the first student finished would be excused for what remained of the quarter.
When youre done writing, please bring the papers to my desk. The class was both cooperative and silent. The cooperation part was a welcome relief. Brynn was beginning to feel like a salmon swimming upstream. Every inch was a struggle, every day a challenge.
One by one, her class delivered their papers to her desk. Before long Brynn had accumulated a tidy stack.
Curious whispers followed.
Arent you going to read them? someone asked.
I will later, she promised, as if this were a normal assignment.
Wait a minute, Emilio said, slouching down on his seat. I gotta right to know how many women want me.
Several of the girls booed, suggesting he wasnt the one on their list.
Emilio planted his hand over his heart and looked deeply grieved by their lack of appreciation for his obvious charms.
Did anyone put me down? Modesto demanded. Emilios got a point, you know.
One things for sure, no one picked Mike, taunted a boy in the back of class.
Mike was a loner and rarely contributed to class discussions. He suffered from a bad case of acne and kept his distance from the others. Brynn had never seen him talk to any of the other students. In many ways her heart went out to Mike, and she struggled to reach him. To have someone taunt him now was cruel and unnecessary. For the first time Brynn wondered about the wisdom of her assignment. It had sounded like such fun when shed planned it.
Dont be so sure, Brynn said, and reached for the stack of papers. Her relief was great when she saw that one of the first papers mentioned Mikes name. Heres a paper for Mike.
You gotta be kidding. This came from Modesto. The youth sat up and turned around to stare at Mike.
Brynn walked down the aisle and handed Mike the paper.
How come he gets to read his and I cant have mine? This came from Emilio.
The corners of Mikes mouth turned up and revealed a brief smile when she laid the sheet down on his desk.
Ill get to you soon enough, Brynn promised.
If anyone chose him, Yolanda joked.
Do bears shit in the woods?
Emilio, Brynn admonished. I wont have that language in my class.
Sorry, Miss Cassidy.
Careful, Brynn heard someone say under their breath. She might get you suspended again.
The next paper listed Emilios name. She handed it to him and he let out a triumphant cry and punctured the air with his fist. What did I tell you? he shouted. Women are crazy about me. Excited and pleased, he was halfway out of his desk. I got charisma, you know. Real charisma.
Brynn walked up and down the aisles, delivering the papers. It flustered her a bit when she found her own name toward the top of the page. Emilios handwriting was immediately recognizable, and she flushed. Shed never intended for anyone to put down her name.
You arent going to want these back, are you? Yolanda pleaded.
No. Keep them.
Ms. Cassidy. Denzils hand waved frantically. There must be some mistake. I didnt get any papers.
Thats because youre greedy, Yolanda took delight in informing him. Besides, why would anyone want to kiss you?
Hey, you didnt have any problem the other night.
Id had too much to drink and you know it.
Thats not what you said earlier.
The bell rang just then, and Brynn was saved from having to break off a spat between the two for the second time that day. Whatever was taking place between Yolanda and Denzil was best settled outside the classroom.
For your assignment, Brynn said, raising her hand to capture their attention before the room emptied, read the next chapter of The Diary of Anne Frank.
Her words were followed by a loud moan.
Ill see everyone tomorrow afternoon. Have a good evening.
It never ceased to amaze Brynn how fast her classroom emptied. It was as though her students stampeded toward the door in an effort to escape a nuclear holocaust.
As was her habit at the end of the day, Brynn sat at her desk and graded assignments, but today she didnt have much time because of a dental appointment in New Jersey. After a half hour, she tucked what she hadnt finished into her briefcase and headed toward the staff parking lot.
Yo, Ms. Cassidy! Emilio raced toward her.
Hello, Emilio.
His steps soon matched hers. You probably guessed it was me who wrote down your name, right?
Brynn could feel her face growing warm.
Listen, I thought I should explain, he said quickly, looking slightly embarrassed himself. I gotta be careful paying too much attention to any one chick. You see, there are three or four in the class whove got the hots for me. I was trying to be diplomic about it.
Diplomatic.
Yeah, that.
I understand, Emilio, and applaud your efforts.
Good, cause I dont need chick trouble.
I figured it was something like that, she assured him.
Great.
Ill see you tomorrow, she said, doing her best to disguise her amusement. One thing was certain: she didnt want to be the cause of chick problems for Emilio Alcantara.
Emilio turned and hurried across the parking lot toward the basketball hoop where his friends were busy playing two on two.
Brynn climbed inside her car and turned the key. It flickered to life, sputtered, and then quickly died. Surprised, she tried again, with the same results. She hadnt left her lights on that morning, she was sure of that. Her vehicle had recently been serviced. She tried once more, and this time the engine did nothing more than cough and choke.
No, please, no, Brynn murmured, and pressed her forehead against the steering wheel. Trouble with her car was the last thing she needed.

Hannah shouldnt be this eager to see Joshua again, but she was. Again and again her gaze drifted toward the delis front door as she waited impatiently for the man shed met at Macys Thanksgiving Day parade.
Her heart pounded like a race car piston every time she thought about Joshua. Hed been so gentle and caring. So considerate.
Although theyd only just met, they hadnt lacked for conversation. Joshua was the kind of man she could talk to for hours on end. Generally Hannah found herself tongue-tied and uneasy around men, but not with Joshua. It was as if theyd been friends for a long time.
Friends.
The word comforted her and eased her conscience.
Carl had joined her family for Thanksgiving dinner, and afterward hed sat in the living room with her father. The two men had talked far into the evening, debating political issues and other matters. Before hed left, Hannahs parents had discreetly left the room, affording her time alone with her beau. At first Carl and Hannah had seemed awkward with each other, Carl as much as she.
In an effort to ease the discomfort, she apologized for having lost him while at the parade. Carl reminded her that he felt responsible for her safety and suggested that in the years to come theyd watch the parade on television.
Hannah had lowered her head to hide her disappointment. Then, almost as if it were expected of him, Carl had leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to hers.
It was a sweet kiss, undemanding and totally lacking in passion.
Standing in the deli, Hannah closed her eyes and tried to dredge up some emotion, some deep feelings for Carl. But try as she might, she felt nothing. Surely not desire. Definitely no compelling yearning for his company. He was Carl, the rabbis son. The man her parents felt would make her the perfect husband.
Hannah, her mother admonished, coming out of the kitchen. Her arms were loaded with a tray of sliced bread. Are you ill?
No, Mama.
Then why do you stand there with your eyes closed? We have customers.
Im sorry. And Hannah was. She didnt know what was wrong with her to dawdle when there was work to be done.
Her mother peeled off a list of lunch orders from the fax machine, smoothed them out on the counter, and went about assembling sandwiches with a skill and dexterity that spoke of many years experience.
Hannah lent a hand, packing the orders into plain brown bags and marking each one. The scent of freshly baked bread spilled out of the kitchen and into the front of the deli, mingling with those of sliced pastrami and knishes, her fathers specialties.
After a few minutes, Hannah tried again. Mama, tell me how you met Dad.
Ruth Morganstern slowly lifted her eyes to Hannah. She appeared surprised by the question. I dont have time for such foolishness now.
Disappointed, Hannah said nothing.
We have orders and youre asking me about your father and me? She laughed lightly. It was so many years ago now. For over forty years Ive loved this man. I dont remember when we met.
You dont remember? David shouted from the far side of the deli. Forty-three years and you dont remember? What kind of wife forgets the day she met the man who would be her husband?
Ruth laughed and dismissed him with a wave. I remember some things.
I should hope to God you do.
He was handsome, Hannahs mother said out of the corner of her mouth.
Im still handsome.
More so then, Ruth added, her eyes crinkling with amusement.
Your mother was even more beautiful than she is now, Hannahs father called back. Id look at her and forget all about slicing meat. The time I courted her I nearly lost two fingers.
Hannah laughed, delighted at the exchange between her parents. It seemed the lunch crowd, pressed against the glass display case, lost their impatience, and there were shared smiles all around.
Her father handed a thick pastrami sandwich on a paper plate to a young businessman. Youll have to excuse my daughter, he said under his breath, but loudly enough for Hannah to hear. Shes in love.
In love? This was news to Hannah. But then, if she were to marry Carl, it was implied that they cared deeply for each other. Hannah liked Carl, respected him. He was a good, honorable man and, according to her parents, a fine catch.
Her mother couldnt have been more pleased when Hannah first started dating Carl. A rabbis son. In Ruths eyes, Carl was a better catch than a doctor or even an attorney.
An attorney. Automatically Hannahs thoughts drifted back to Joshua, although hed never been far from her mind since theyd met.
Here, Ruth said, handing Hannah the bag loaded with faxed orders. With your head full of romance, can I trust you not to confuse these orders? she teased affectionately.
Of course, Hannah answered, and blushed.
Your heads some place else these days. Her mother leveled her gaze on Hannah. Your head and your heart. Hannah reached for her hand-knit scarf and wool coat. The deli employed a number of runners, but she was often needed to fill in during the lunch-hour rush.
I wont be long, she promised before heading out into the cold.
Both her parents stared after her, and Hannah had the distinct impression that they would soon be bragging to their customers about her imminent engagement to Carl.
The wind nipped at her face as she hurried along Front Street in the bustling financial district. Taxis honked with impatience and a bus roared past, leaving her to choke on its exhaust.
Hannahs steps were filled with purpose as she wove her way in and around the foot traffic. She hadnt gone more than a block when she heard someone call her name. After a moments hesitation, she looked over her shoulder. She didnt see anyone she knew.
Hannah, wait.
The voice was recognizable now. Joshua.
She scanned the crowd but couldnt see him. Then she found him, standing on the other side of the street. He raised his arm high above his head and waved to attract her attention.
Standing on her tiptoes, Hannah smiled and waved back.
Joshua gestured for her to wait, and as soon as the traffic passed, he jogged across the street.
Hello again, he said, smiling down at her.
Hello.
There didnt seem to be anything more to say, but her pulse quickened and she felt as if her heart were trying to escape from inside her chest.
I was on my way to the deli when I saw you.
Im delivering orders, she told him. She didnt have time to talk, not when hungry customers were waiting for their lunches. I cant visit now. Regret settled over her. All day shed waited for the opportunity to see Joshua again, and now, when she did happen upon him, she was forced to leave.
Ill come with you, he suggested.
But ...
Do you have to get back right away?
She should. She knew she should. Her parents might need her to make a second run and possibly a third. She hedged, not sure what to do.
Five minutes, Josh suggested. Ten. Listen, Ill help you deliver these orders and you wont be away any time at all. Dont say no, Hannah.
Hannah knew she shouldnt, but she found it even more difficult to turn him down, to deny herself the pleasure of this one short encounter. She gave him a barely discernible nod, praying she was doing the right thing.
Even before she had a chance to think the matter through, Joshua reached inside her carrying bag and grabbed three lunch orders. Not giving her time to protest, he rattled off the address to his office and instructed her to meet him there in ten minutes.
Feeling slightly guilty, she hurried to deliver what remained of the orders. Hannah often took a couple of minutes to chat with her customers, many of whom she considered friends, but not this afternoon. She was in and out as fast as she could manage it.
As soon as she could, she made her way to Joshuas office building. Crammed inside an elevator, she headed for the twenty-sixth floor. The elevator doors slid open and she stepped into an office complex lavishly decorated in mauves and grays. The names of the law firm partners were elegantly sprawled in large gold letters across one fabric-covered wall.
Hannah had been inside this complex a number of times and knew it to be one of the most prestigious law firms in Manhattan. Shed had no idea Joshua was a part of this firm.
Law clerks bustled about, and the phone jingled. Clients lingered in the waiting room.
May I help you? the receptionist asked. If she recognized Hannah as the girl from the deli, she didnt say anything.
Im Hannah Morganstern, she said.
The womans face relaxed into a smile. Ah yes, Mr. Shadduck said youd be here soon. Ill have someone take you right back. She motioned toward one of the law clerks.
Hannah was escorted down a wide hallway. The law clerk gestured toward Joshuas door, which was open. Joshua stood on the far side of the office. He must have sensed her arrival because he turned around and his face brightened with a warm, welcoming smile.
She knew it was impolite to stare, but she couldnt take her eyes off the framed list of achievements that lined his walls. This was no ordinary man. He was rich and powerful.
Whats wrong?
She pulled her gaze away from the wall, surprised he had read her so easily. Ive never been inside your office before. Shed delivered his lunch any number of times but had never been past the foyer and the receptionist. She recognized Joshua from the times hed come into the deli himself.
Sit down. Ill ring Mary for something hot. Which do you prefer? Coffee or tea?
I ... I really cant stay. To think that shed allowed this important attorney to deliver lunches on her behalf. Hannah was mortified to the very marrow of her bones.
You cant stay? Why not? I thought we had this all settled. He walked toward her and reached for her hand. Hannah didnt know if it was from the cold or the shock of seeing Joshua in this environment, but her fingers were icy cold.
Youre freezing. He rubbed her right hand between his own two hands. You should be wearing gloves.
She felt completely out of her element. Pride prevented her from making up some excuse and rushing away. I ... I didnt know, she whispered.
Josh led her to a comfortable brown leather sofa and sat her down. Didnt know what?
Hannah held her tongue rather than blurt out the truth. When theyd met at the parade he was a familiar face, someone she recognized. In this office, he was the epitome of the kind of man her father distrusted.
Ive been thinking about you all weekend, he said. How was your Thanksgiving?
Now was the perfect opportunity to tell him how close she was to becoming engaged to Carl. She could bring Carls name up naturally and explain the situation. She could tell him how Carl had joined her family for dinner. How Carl and her father had talked. How Carl had kissed her good night. How theyd met on the Sabbath, after services in the synagogue.
It was very nice, she said instead, wanting to kick herself. How about you?
I ate with my mother and grandmother.
That started it. Within a matter of minutes he had her laughing over something his grandmother said, and they were immersed in conversation.
Twenty minutes slipped by, and it seemed like only five. I have to get back, she said, unable to disguise her regret. Thank you for the tea ... for everything. She wouldnt indulge herself again. Not with Joshua.
Whatever made her so bold, Hannah would never know. She stood, prepared to walk away, and before she left, she pressed the palm of her hand to Joshuas clean-shaven face.
Good-bye, Joshua, she said, and not giving him time to answer, she hurried from his office.
Her mother eyed her wearily when Hannah arrived back at the deli. What took you? she asked.
I got sidetracked, Hannah admitted.
Next time dont visit so long, her father warned her. We needed you here.
Im sorry Im late. Do you need me to make another run?
Dont worry, Louise was able to do it. Her mother rattled off a list of tasks. Hannah was grateful to work in the kitchen the rest of the afternoon.
Hannah, her father called two hours later. A packages been delivered for you.
For me? Drying her hands on a linen towel, Hannah stepped out to the front of the deli. A freckle-faced delivery boy held out a small, flat box. Hannah Morganstern?
Thats me.
Sign here. He thrust a clipboard at her.
Hannah penned her name and then, with her parents watching, unwrapped the flat, oblong box.
Inside were a pair of expensive leather gloves and a note from Joshua.

Ive never heard you sing better, Michelle said as she and Jenny returned to their shared apartment. Oh, Jenny, this is the break weve been waiting for. Were going to sing and dance on Broadway. I can feel it in my bones. Were really going to make it.
They often built each other up after an audition. Casting directors werent known for lavishing potential stars with positive feedback, so they gave it to each other.
Your voice ... Michelle hesitated as though she had trouble finding the words. Its different now. Theres a depth and maturity that wasnt there six months ago. Michelle set the mail on the kitchen table. Dont misunderstand me, youve always been good, but this afternoon you were nothing short of brilliant.
Jenny rolled her eyes.
Im not blowing smoke out my ears, either. Michelle sounded slightly offended. I mean it, Jenny. I really think youre going to get a part, maybe even one of the leads.
Jenny knew otherwise. She sang her heart out the way she did for every audition. Nothing was going to change. She refused to build up her hopes again.
This looks interesting, Michelle said, holding up an envelope and tossing it to her. Its addressed to you. It might even be a Christmas card. Already? Good grief, its not even December yet.
Jenny examined the envelope, her gaze scanning the return address. She recognized it immediately, and her breath jammed in her throat.
Jenny? What is it?
Its from Trey, she whispered.
Trey who?
She stood and walked around the table while motioning with her hands, unable to formulate the words. Trey LaRue ... my neighbor, or rather my parents neighbor.
Youve never mentioned him before, Michelle said.
I havent? That seemed impossible. He was an integral part of what she considered home and family.
Well, open it and find out what he has to say, Michelle encouraged.
That seemed the most logical thing to do. Jennys hand trembled as she peeled back the flap and withdrew a card. A colorful turkey decorated the front, its plumage fanned out across the top. She opened the card and found Trey had written only one short sentence: Im eager to see you this Christmas. His name was signed below in smooth, even strokes of the fountain pen.
Jennys heart sank to the pit of her stomach. She handed the card to Michelle.
Youre going home for the holidays?
Jenny shook her head. You know I cant. Not with money so tight. Not after shed let everyone believe she had a starring role in an Off Broadway production.
I like his signature, Michelle said, studying the card. You can tell a lot about a man by the way he signs his name. Her look was thoughtful. But, she continued, grinning at Jenny, Id rather have you tell me all about him yourself.
What can I say? Jenny murmured, surprised to discover she didnt want to discuss Trey with her best friend.
Shed never missed home more than she did right at that moment. She longed to gaze into a night sky where the stars werent obliterated by city lights. She wanted to close her eyes and smell the scent of fresh hay. Home was cattle and mud and frustration. Home was love. Home was Trey.
Hes hasnt written you before, has he? Michelle pressed.
No.
Why now?
Jenny shrugged. I dont know. He owns the spread next to ours, she volunteered, hoping her friend would help her reason it out. A smile touched the edges of her mouth. Hes a cowboy from head to foot. Full of grit and mettle. Stubborn and determined, with skin as tan as leather and a constitution of iron.
Did you date him?
No ... hes older than me by several years. Eight years had made a world of difference when she was in high school, but it didnt seem all that important now. Hes probably one of the most decent, hardworking men Ive ever known.
Its obvious he wants you to come home.
Jenny set aside the card and exhaled a long, slow breath. Well, I cant, so theres no use sitting around here stewing about it.
It seems a shame, after him writing and all.
I cant go home, Jenny said forcefully. You cant, either, because the both of us are going to have plum roles in the new Lehman musical, and well be in the thick of rehearsals.
Youre right, Michelle said as if this were something she hadnt considered.
Well be stars.
Stars, Michelle repeated. Our names will light up the marquee.
Bright lights, and bright futures. But even as she said the words, they rang false in her ears.

Goodness. Gabriel was furious. Shirley, Goodness, and Mercy had ignored him at every turn, and he wasnt putting up with it this year. His schedule was busy enough without those three meddling in matters that were none of their concern.
You called? The three shot up to heaven, looking as innocent as newborn lambs. Their feathery wings were tucked firmly in place, and their expressions were filled with guileless innocence.
Shirley, he roared. Did I or did I not tell you to stay away from Brynn Cassidy? He didnt give her a chance to reply. Might I ask what you were doing in her classroom this afternoon? This is your assignment, he said, handing her a slip of paper. Now I expect you to help Craig Houle. If I see you anywhere close to Manhattan High School again, it will be cause for disciplinary action.
The three gasped.
Gabriel refused to allow these prayer ambassadors to manipulate him any further.
Goodness, what did I tell you about Hannah? You dont think I know that you had a hand in Joshua Shadduck running into her this afternoon? Well, Im on to your games. You will keep your fingers out of her life, is that understood?
Goodness nodded.
As for you, Mercy ... He looked down over his notes and, flustered, ran a hand over his face. He glanced up at the third angel. Oh my, youre going to need all the help you can get.

Five
Gabriel handed you an assignment on a piece of paper. Goodness was offended on Shirleys behalf, and rightly so. Never in their two-year history of working the Christmas holiday prayer rush had they been treated so shabbily. It was downright degrading.
It might not be so bad, Mercy suggested, gathering close to her friends side. The third angel was the peacemaker of the group. The least we can do is give Gabriel the benefit of the doubt.
Shirley peeled open the folded sheet. Goodness and Mercy crowded close in an effort to read over her shoulder.
The prayer request is from Craig Houle, the angel told them. Hes ten and has asked God for a chess set for Christmas.
Youve got to be kidding. Mercy flapped her wings in a display of disgust. A chess set for a ten-year-old boy. Why, thats an insult to our good names.
We have a tradition to uphold.
Goodness couldnt stay in one spot, not when she was this angry. Its a matter of pride. If anyone could help Brynn Cassidy with those high schoolers, its Shirley. This other stuff is childs play.
Exactly! Shirley declared. We have something to prove, so lets do it.
Indignant, the three returned to earth, their feathers in a dither, swirling down on the unsuspecting city like the Horsemen due from the Apocalypse.
Exactly where does this Craig Houle live? Goodness demanded as the three hovered over the Queensboro Bridge. Gabriel should count his blessings. There was a time, not so long past, when Goodness would have taken delight in dallying with streetlights and rerouting New York City traffic.
According to this, Craig lives on Roosevelt Island, Shirley answered, reading over the request form. At this time of day, hes most likely in school.
Yes, but its his parents we need to influence, right? Mercy asked, thinking on her feeter, wings.
Right, the other two agreed.
Then all we need do is convince his mother or father to do a little pre-Christmas shopping.
Goodness made a tsk-tsk sound. I think its time we taught Gabriel a lesson on just how good we are.
I dont believe Ive ever been more offended, Shirley said as the three briskly headed toward Roosevelt Island.

Peggy Houle walked down the quiet hospital corridor and sat at the nurses station. Her rubber soles barely made a sound on the polished tile floor.
She started to make a notation in one of her patients charts when she noticed a newspaper spread open across the top of the counter.
Thats odd, she mumbled to herself, and scooted the paper aside.
She looked around, wondering whod left it. One thing was certain: none of the nurses were accorded the luxury of sitting down and reading. Not while on duty, at any rate. The hospital was short-staffed as it was, and breaks, even the ones allotted them in the terms of their contract, were often few and far between.
My dogs are barking. Ellen Freeman, another nurse, joined Peggy. She slipped off her shoe and rubbed her sore toes. This is what I get for not breaking in these new shoes first. She reached for the newspaper. Who left this?
I dont know. It wasnt here five minutes ago.
Look, Ellen said, pointing to the printed page. Theres a gigantic toy sale going on for the next couple of days. I havent even started my Christmas shopping.
I was finished last week, Peggy said, feeling almost smug. Shed hit the stores her first day off following Thanksgiving and finished it all in one fell swoopwrapping paper, new decorations, tinsel, the whole nine yards.
There wasnt a reason on this earth good enough for her to voluntarily step inside a store again in the whole month of December. Not when it seemed the entire city had gone crazy. At the end of her shift all Peggy wanted to do was head home.
Ive been thinking Id buy the kids educational gifts this year, Ellen murmured. Something that will stir their minds instead of those brainless television games. I cant tell you how sick I am of them sitting like zombies holding on to their joysticks.
A chess set? Peggy said, and snapped her head back, startled.
A chess set, Ellen repeated, oblivious of her friends chagrin. Now that I think about it, youre right. A chess set is an excellent idea.
What did I just say?
A chess set. Ellen looked up, surprised. Is something wrong?
No ... the funniest thing just happened. Peggy slapped the side of her head, hoping that would help.
What? Ellen was curious now.
The words a chess set echoed in my ear. Three times, and each time I swear I was hearing a different voice.
I still think its an excellent idea, Ellen said, and replaced her shoe. Are you sure you wont come to the toy store with me?
Ah ... Peggy hesitated, then found herself agreeing. Sure, she mumbled, why not? For the life of her, she couldnt imagine why she was doing such a thing. Who knows, maybe Craig would be interested in learning how to play chess himself, she said to justify her actions. After all, it was a good idea. Her son would enjoy learning the game.
Peggy leaned back on her chair. Abruptly she shook her head, then repeatedly slapped her hand against her ear. It happened again, she said incredulously.
You heard the words a chess set?
No, Peggy said, and shook her head like a dog fresh out of the water. It was the same three voices, only this time they said ...
Yes, Ellen prodded.
You arent going to believe this. Peggy wasnt entirely sure she believed it herself. Piece of cake, she mumbled, and shrugged, completely baffled.

Oh, my, Shirley said, pointing into the distance. Brynn Cassidys in trouble. It was just what shed expected would happen.
Trouble? Mercy repeated. Whats wrong?
Cocky with their success, Goodness brushed the grit from her hands. Troubles our middle name. Brynn doesnt have a thing to worry about.
Brynn might not, but we do, Mercy said, looking skeptical. Gabriel isnt going to like this one bit. Not after the warning he gave us to stay away from her.
Brynns car wont start, Shirley informed her friends, her voice growing more concerned. And I dont like the looks of those men, either. Clad in black leather jackets, two men stood on the other side of the chain-link fence, watching Brynn.
Brynn climbed out of her car and opened the hood. She cast a wary eye toward the men.
If ever Ive seen anyone with evil intentions, its those two, Shirley informed her friends.
Theyve got knives, Mercy said, tugging on Goodnesss sleeve.
Weve got to do something, Shirley cried, hoping to hide her panic.
You dont dare, Goodness insisted, gripping Shirley by the arm and stopping her. Mercys right. If Gabriel finds out, itd be just the excuse hes looking for to stick us with guard duty.
Then Ill take matters into my own hands, Shirley insisted.
Talk to Gabriel, Mercy suggested. Goodness and I can keep those two thugs occupied while you reason this out with him.
Did I hear someone mention my name? Gabriel appeared just then, startling the three angels.
Gabriel, Shirley said boldly, we need to talk.
Indeed we do. Whats this I hear about Peggy Houle experiencing hearing problems?
Shirley, Goodness, and Mercy clammed up so fast their teeth made clicking sounds when their jaws closed.
I strongly suspect a bit of ... intercession.
I have a question of my own. Shirley stepped forward and bravely confronted the archangel. Exactly whom have you assigned to work with Brynn Cassidy?
Gabriel hesitated. As a matter of course, I hadnt gotten around to choosing anyone just yet.
This was all Shirley needed to hear. Its exactly as I suspected, she turned to inform her two friends with an indignant huff. In the meantime Brynn Cassidy flounders, while heaven looks on unconcerned.
When she dared, Shirley chanced a look in his direction. I want in, she informed Gabriel, her hand braced against her hip.
What makes you think you can handle this case? Gabriels intense eyes burned holes straight into her.
I cant, Shirley admitted. At least not alone, but I have two friends who can help. In addition to ...
Yes, Gabriel prodded.
In addition to my friends, theres you.
Me?
And a host of heavenly assistance thats always on call.
Gabriel sighed. You just might need it.
Shirley opened her mouth to further her argument, then realized what the archangel had said. You mean to say youre willing to give me the assignment? The winds of indignity that had ruffled her sails fell slack. Really?
From the tight set of his mouth, the archangel looked as if he already regretted this. One condition. You must agree to call for help when you need it.
I promise, Shirley said solemnly, and smiled at her two friends.
Just remember we can accomplish all things with the power of God.
All things, Shirley, Goodness, and Mercy repeated.
Well start right now, Gabriel suggested. Ill let you take care of the problem of those two malcontents.
Sure thing, Shirley said, eager to get started on the assignment now that it was officially hers. She eyed the two men watching Brynn, and almost felt sorry for them. It seemed to her they were prime candidates for a bit of intervention. Perhaps they should meet up with an old friend, one they werent eager to see. Like their parole officer. Angel Shirley in disguise.
I sincerely hope you know a good mechanic. Gabriel cast his gaze over to the disabled vehicle; then without a sound, without a clue, he disappeared.
We do know a good mechanic, dont we? Shirley asked, looking to her friends.
Goodness and Mercy stared back blankly.
No, said Mercy to Shirley. We thought you did.

It was barely after four and already the sky was growing dark. Within a half hour night would settle over the city like a black velvet quilt.
Brynn Cassidy had long since given up the idea of seeing her dentist. Missing the appointment to have her teeth cleaned was a minor inconvenience compared to the hassles of dealing with car troubles.
She couldnt leave her Ford Escort here overnight, that much she knew. In this high-crime area, shed be fortunate to find the shell of her vehicle left by morning. Nor did she know of a good garage, especially one close by. She cast a look across the street, surprised and grateful that the two men lingering there moments earlier had disappeared.
Are you having trouble, Miss Cassidy? Emilio walked up to her, a basketball tucked under one arm.
Brynn was so grateful that someone had asked that it was all she could do to keep from blurting out her troubles. It wont start, and I havent got a clue what could be wrong.
Emilio walked around her vehicle as though inspecting it. I know a little bit about engines.
Do you think you might look at it?
Sure thing. Emilio slid halfway inside the drivers seat. One foot remained on the asphalt parking lot while he turned the ignition key. He pumped the gas pedal a couple of times while her car made a sick grinding sound.
Do you know whats wrong? Brynn asked expectantly.
You sure it isnt your battery? Emilio asked.
Good grief, I wouldnt know.
The teenager seemed to find her answer amusing. You know all them fancy words, Teach, but you arent so smart when it comes to cars, are you?
Brynn was more than willing to admit it. Is it serious? she asked.
Emilio shrugged. I havent got a clue.
I thought you said you knew something about cars.
I do, but I aint no Mr. Goodwrench.
Thanks anyway, Emilio. I appreciate your help. Hed done a lot more than her fellow teachers. Most had walked right past her.
Brynn closed the hood and locked up the car. She didnt want to leave it, but she didnt have any choice. Its hood shut with a bang that echoed through the darkening afternoon. She swung the strap of her purse over her shoulder, and with her back stiff, not knowing where to turn, she started out of the parking lot.
Where you going? Emilio asked, bouncing the basketball and weaving it in and out of his legs as he walked alongside her.
Id better get a tow truck.
My brother can do that.
Brynn paused. Your brother?
Roberto. Hes owns a mechanic shop. If you want, Ill take you there. Hell know what to do.
Frankly, Brynn wished Emilio had said something about his brother sooner. That would be great.
Yeah, well, remember how much I helped you the next time youre tempted to have me suspended.
The three-block walk took only a matter of minutes. Brynn spied Robertos shop when they turned the corner. It looked as if the garage had once been a neighborhood gas station. The corners of the cement building were chipped and the entire structure was badly in need of a fresh coat of paint.
Emilio opened the glass front door and walked inside. Roberto! he shouted.
His brothers reply was muffled.
Hes in the garage, Emilio said, gesturing to the narrow doorway that led to a large open area that served as the repair shop. Brynn followed her student inside.
I drummed up some business for you, Emilio announced proudly, and motioned toward Brynn.
Roberto Alcantara slowly unfolded from a quarter panel of the blue Metro and reached for the pink rag tucked inside his coveralls pocket.
Hello, Mr. Alcantara.
Call him Roberto, Emilio insisted. This is Miss Cassidy, he continued, looking well pleased with himself. Shes the teacher I was telling you about.
Hello.
Roberto nodded and wiped his hands. His face remained emotionless.
Ms. Cassidys having car troubles.
My car wont start, she elaborated. I doubt that its the battery. It ran perfectly fine this morning ... at least I thought it did.
She doesnt know anything about cars, Emilio inserted. Her specialty is dangling particles.
Participles, Brynn corrected.
Emilio chuckled. See what I mean?
Im pleased to meet you, Miss Cassidy, Roberto said coolly, and tossed the rag onto his tool bench.
I left my car in the school parking lot. She twisted her arm around and pointed in the direction of the school, which was completely unnecessary. Roberto Alcantara knew very well where the high school was.
Roberto said something to Emilio in Spanish. Emilio nodded quickly, then turned abruptly and hurried out of the garage. Within a matter of a minute she heard the youth talking on the phone, again in Spanish. Before he left, he collected her car keys.
Ive had Emilio call for a tow truck, Roberto informed her. Hell meet the driver over at the school.
Thank you. I cant tell you how much I appreciate your help.
Roberto said nothing.
Without being obvious, Brynn studied Emilios brother. Roberto was tall and lean. His skin was the color of warm honey, his eyes and hair as dark a shade of brown as shed ever seen. She guessed him to be around her own age, perhaps a year or two older. He wasnt openly hostile, but he did nothing to put her at ease. Every attempt at conversation was dead-ended.
As the minutes passed, the silence became more and more strained. Brynn wondered what she could have done to earn his disapproval, then realized it must be the incident with Emilio in the hall the first day she was at the school.
I imagine youre upset with me because I was the one responsible for Emilios suspension, she tried again. She wouldnt apologize, but she was prepared to state her side of the case. If he was willing to listen, that was.
Im not the least bit upset, he surprised her by answering. Emilio knows the rules. He deserved what he got. He returned to working on the Metro and ignored her.
The next time he straightened, Brynn asked, You dont like me, do you? Normally she wouldnt be so confrontational, but it had been one of those days. If shed done something to offend him, she wanted to know about it.
Thats right, he concurred.
Do you mind telling me why?
Apparently this was just the doorway hed been waiting to walk through. Roberto met her look brazenly and continued. Because youre filling my brothers head with nonsense.
How do you mean? Brynn struggled not to sound defensive and doubted that shed succeeded.
He flung his arm in the air. All your talk about the importance of an education. A high school diploma isnt going to help Emilio any more than it did me. Tell me, Miss Cassidy, exactly how is the history of World War Two going to feed a family? Will reading about Anne Frank get him a decent job?
Yes ... well, not directly, she faltered. Education is the answer for Emilio. She couldnt believe Roberto would say such a thing.
Emilio would be better off if he dropped out of school now and learned a trade. He turned his back on her and appeared to be looking for something on his tool bench. He carelessly tossed aside a wrench and reached for another.
I soundly disagree, Brynn said.
Thats your right.
In all her years, Brynn had never heard anyone discourage someone from an education. Dont tell me you actually want your brother to quit school. Surely your parents object to that.
Im the only family Emilios got, Roberto announced.
Im sorry to hear that, especially if you think he shouldnt complete his education.
I nearly had him convinced to come work with me here in the garage, but then you arrived and all of a sudden hes talking about goals and dreams and other such nonsense.
It isnt nonsense, she argued.
Roberto threw down a rag and shook his head. No matter what happens, my brother and I will live and die in this neighborhood. All your talk isnt going to change one damn thing.

Hannah knew it was coming. The minute Carl arrived with his parents, following synagogue, she knew. Hed come to ask her to be his wife. Come to stake his claim. She didnt know why hed chosen now; then again, perhaps she did. Hannah knew that Carl had experienced pressure from his own family. They had dated several months now, and it was time to make a decision. He taught at the local Hebrew academy, and his position there was secure, despite his differences with the headmaster.
Together with her mother and father, Hannah led Carls family into the compact living room. An expectant silence settled over the group as the two sets of parents exchanged happy glances.
Carl looked to Hannah, and she read the apology in his eyes. He hadnt wanted it to be like this, either. He would have preferred for them to speak privately first, but like her, he was caught in the trap of obligation and family tradition.
Carl. The rabbi looked to his son.
Carl cleared his throat. Hannah and I have been seeing each other exclusively now for several months, he began. His hands were clasped in his lap, and he seemed to be as uncomfortable with this as Hannah was. It should come as no surprise that I have deep feelings for your daughter.
David and Ruth smiled and nodded.
Hannah read the delight in their eyes. This was their dream for her, what theyd been anxiously waiting to happen for weeks. If anything, they seemed surprised it had taken this long.
Our Hannah has deep feelings for Carl as well, her father assured the rabbi and his wife. He looked to his daughter for confirmation.
Hannah had no option but to agree, and really, it wasnt a stretch of the truth. She did care for Carl. He had been both generous and considerate.
I have a good job and make a respectable income, Carl said.
Her father nodded.
I can afford to care for Hannah.
Again her father confirmed his approval with a quick nod.
The room went silent as everyone waited with breathless anticipation for what was to come next.
With your permission, David and Ruth, Carl continued, his voice low and firm, I would like to ask Hannah to be my wife.
Hannah watched as her sensible mother dissolved into tears of happiness and, perhaps, relief. Her fathers face beamed with love and pride.
David cleared his throat as if to say his words were those of importance. We couldnt ask for a better man for our only child. You have our permission and our heartfelt approval. May God deeply bless you both.
Hannah? Carl turned his attention to her.
Five people looked to her. She held their dreams in the palm of her hand. With everything in her she wanted to ask Carl to give her time before she decided. But to do so now would embarrass him and deeply disappoint their families.
Hannah? her mother asked softly.
Hannah glanced toward her parents. All her life shed done as they wanted. Shed been a good daughter, an obedient child.
Oh, Carl, she whispered.
Her mother dabbed at her eyes. Carls mother sniffled.
I couldnt be more honored than to be your wife.
The tension in the room evaporated as Carls and her parents leapt to their feet and hugged each other. The only two not embracing were Carl and Hannah.
Carl moved to her side and knelt on the floor next to her chair. His eyes held hers captive. Ill make you a good husband, Hannah.
She lowered her gaze. And Ill be a good wife.

Joshua glanced at his watch and was surprised at the time. Hed been held up in court earlier that morning and been playing catch-up the rest of the day. Earlier hed decided to stop off at the deli and be sure Hannah had received his gift. Frankly hed been surprised not to hear from her before now.
It came as something of a surprise the way Hannah had filled his mind and his heart. For too many years hed been whizzing down the fast lane of life, building his career and making a name for himself.
Then one morning, out of the blue, hed woken with a hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach. This feeling, this emptiness, was something his grandmothers cooking wasnt going to satisfy.
It was then Joshua realized that what he was missing was a wife and family. He knew his mother had been wanting him to marry for a good long while. Only he had a certain type of woman in mind, and he didnt know if such a woman existed in this modern age.
First and foremost he sought a woman who shared his faith. One who would stand devotedly at his side through the years. A woman who would make his dreams hers and allow him to be part of hers. One who was kind and gentle. Loving and tender. Sensible.
Hed searched for months for this paragon of virtue, until he was convinced a woman such as this no longer existed.
Then hed met Hannah.
After their first afternoon together, hed realized she was exactly the type of woman hed been longing to meet. To think all this time shed been right under his nose. The local deli owners daughter.
Joshua reached for his coat, and after telling his secretary where hed be, he headed toward what many in New York considered to be the best deli in town.
When he was less than a block away from the deli, Joshua spied Hannah. She was walking with an older woman, whom he assumed must be her mother. It was hard not to raise his arm and attract her attention the way he had at their previous meeting. But since she was advancing toward him, there didnt seem to be much point.
Joshua frowned when he noticed Hannah wasnt wearing the gloves hed had delivered. Then he noticed her eyes. How easy she was to read. Whatever she was doing didnt please her. Even from this distance he felt her resistance.
Just then she looked up, and he caught her gaze. Briefly her eyes widened with alarm and she gnawed on her lower lip as though she werent sure what to do.
Without her saying a word, Joshua received her message. She didnt want him to greet her. Silently she pleaded with him to walk on past. It offended him, but he didnt question her request.
Without a word they strolled past each other like total strangers. Three steps on the other side of Hannah, Joshua turned, hoping for some telltale sign that would clue him to what was wrong.
She glanced over her shoulder, and in that briefest of seconds, Joshua read her eyes. She was grateful. Later, when she could, she promised silently, she would explain everything.
It probably had something to do with what shed told him the day of the parade. Her parents had been involved in a frivolous lawsuit. The fact that her family didnt take kindly to attorneys wouldnt dissuade him. He was very much interested in knowing Hannah better. Once her family had an opportunity to know him, theyd be willing to overlook the fact that he was an attorney. Joshua smiled to himself.
He would be patient, because Hannah Morganstern was well worth the effort. After all, hed been looking for her most of his adult life.

This must be old home week, Michelle said as she walked into the apartment and tossed the mail on the kitchen table. Theres another letter with a postmark from Custer, Montana.
There is? Dressed in her slip and standing in front of the ironing board, Jenny set aside the iron and walked over to the table. She reached for the envelope and read the return address. Its from my mother.
At least you hear from your mother, Michelle complained as she shucked off her coat and scarf. Its been three months since my mother last wrote me.
But she calls once a week.
True.
But Jenny understood what her friend was saying. It was a relief to get something in the mail other than bills.
She opened the envelope and withdrew the letter. It was exactly what she expected. Her mother had broken her silence and joined Trey to ask her to come home for the holidays.
It hurt more than words could voice, having to explain that she couldnt leave New York. Jenny had long since run out of money, out of excuses, and, worse yet, out of ideas.
Whatd she say? Michelle asked. Her roommate stood in front of the open refrigerator and stared at its meager contents. Rather than explain, Jenny handed the single sheet of stationery to her friend. Michelle scanned the page, then raised her eyes to Jenny.
Your mother wants you to come home for Christmas.
Jenny sank onto the sofa and tucked her feet beneath her. Christmas has always been so special with our family. I dont think Ive met anyone who could put on a spread the way Mom does. She makes this incredible sage dressing for the turkey, and the scent of it fills the house. She closed her eyes, and the memory was so powerful, she could almost smell the pungent herbs right then.
Maybe theres a way you could manage to make it home, Michelle said sympathetically.
There isnt, Jenny said, unwilling even to listen to suggestions. No one needed to tell her that shed done this to herself.
Christmas with her mom and dad and little brother. A lump formed in her throat.
Christmas on the range. Snow glistening in the moonlight, sleigh rides every December. Decorating the tree together had long been a family tradition. Her father would set a pot of wassail to warm over the fireplace, and theyd sing carols while they strung the lights and added the tinsel. The ranch hands and neighbors would stop over for a cup of her fathers special brew. Trey came every year.
Jenny?
Her eyes popped open. Sorry. I guess I got carried away there for a moment.
Why hasnt your family come to see you?
Mom and Dad? Jenny supposed she should have considered that a long time ago, but try as she might she couldnt picture her parents in New York. To the best of her knowledge theyd never been more than three hundred miles away from the ranch. Their lives revolved around the care and feeding of a thousand head of cattle. It would be unheard-of for her father to leave the ranch unattended.
Thered been a time when Jenny hated the mere mention of the word beef. How eager shed been to escape to the big city and find her way in the world. How eager shed been to disassociate herself from the Flying L Ranch.
Did you hear anything from Peterman? she asked Michelle, needing to change the subject before she became downright maudlin.
Not a word. Rumor has it hes looking for a particular kind of girl.
Oh? Jenny feigned interest. It went without saying that whatever character type the famous director sought wasnt likely to be Jenny. She had lost count of the number of times shed auditioned for John Peterman. He hadnt chosen her yet, and she doubted he would this time.
She didnt know when shed started all this stinking thinking. About the time shed told the first lie to her parents. Negative thoughts had crowded her mind ever since.
I cant shake the feeling youre going to be offered one of the major roles, Michelle said. Mark my words, Jenny Lancaster. Were both headed for Broadway.

This is the saddest thing Ive ever seen, Mercy told her two friends. Jenny wants nothing more than to go home for the holidays, and cant.
Surely theres a way we can help her.
Im convinced there is. Goodness spoke with utter confidence. All we may need to do is pull a few strings. That shouldnt be so difficult.
Mercy smiled. Weve been doing that for years, havent we?
Maybe we should make it impossible for Jenny to refuse her mother.
Mercy looked to the former guardian angel. What do you mean?
Shirley pointed to the Thanksgiving card tucked in Jennys bedroom mirror. Perhaps all we really need to do is give her a good enough excuse to head home.

Six
Jenny didnt want to do it. Her heart ached every time she thought about refusing her mothers plea. The list of fabricated excuses was as long as her arm.
She waited until she had the apartment to herself and then sat down at the table. She bolstered herself with a cup of hot chocolate and a plate of butter cookies. With pen in hand, she wrote.

Dearest Mom and Dad, 

You dont know how it pains me to tell you I wont make it home for the holidays. I love you both more than words can say. I think of you every day. Know that my heart will be with you, but this is the price of success.... 

Jenny wadded up the letter and unceremoniously tossed it into the garbage. She tried again, and after six or seven lines the second sheet followed the path of the first.
A half hour later, the table was nearly obliterated with discarded attempts. It hadnt been this difficult to answer Treys card. Her brief note to her former neighbor had been cheerful and witty when shed sent along her regrets.
Anyone who knew her well might have been able to read between the lines of her lighthearted message. But not Trey, she decided. Her witty note would amuse him.
In the end, Jenny penned three short lines to her parents and left it at that. She couldnt come. She was sorry, and shed miss them terribly.
Not once did she mention the Off Broadway production shed told them she was in. Jenny refused to perpetrate the lie any further than she had already.
By the time Michelle returned from her errands, Jenny was in a real funk. Depressed and miserable, she battled off a case of the blues, determined not to get caught in the trap of feeling sorry for herself.
You know what we need? her friend said.
What?
A little fun. Its the season of joy, and yet here we are, moping around waiting for the phone to ring. Their agent hadnt called, and Jenny didnt care what people said. No news was not good news. No news was no news. And this time the waiting had never seemed more interminable.
What if we had a party? Michelle asked.
A Christmas party, Jenny added, warming to the idea. Thats perfect. Then reality set in. But how would we possibly feed all our friends? It was difficult enough to scrounge up meals for the two of them.
Well make it a potluck, Michelle suggested. All we need supply are the drinks, plus plates and silverware. Between us we could manage that, couldnt we?
Sure we could. Jennys nod was eager. Her spirits lifted just thinking about the celebration. She needed this, needed something to take her mind off how much she would miss Montana. We can make the invitations ourselves.
Lets hand them out. That way we could save on postage, Michelle said, offering another money-saving idea.
Who should we invite?
Bill and Susan, Michelle suggested.
The couple had met in drama school and had married that summer. Jenny and Michelle had been bridesmaids. Jenny had joked about how the two of them always seemed to end up as bridesmaids.
What about Cliff? Jenny asked.
Abby, too.
The list continued until they were afraid theyd forget, so they decided to write them all down.
Michelle sat at the table and reached for a pen. Good grief, what happened here? It looks like a paper massacre.
The tightness gripped Jennys throat. I finally wrote my parents and told them I wouldnt be home. Just saying the words aloud increased the ache.
Next year youll be with your family, Michelle said with confidence.
Youre right, Jenny said, forcing herself to think positive thoughts. Surely living in the same city in which Norman Vincent Peale had preached his philosophy of positive thinking should teach her something. Yet here she was doing it again: stinking thinking.
Bill and Susan, Michelle mumbled as she repeated the names of their mutual friends. Abby. Cliff. John.
The phone pealed and they froze.
Michelle looked to Jenny.
Jenny to Michelle.
You answer it, her roommate instructed.
You, Jenny insisted, shaking her head. It had been like this all week. The instant the phone jingled they hoped, prayed, it was Irene, their agent. If it wasnt Irene, then perhaps it was the casting director and maybe even the great and mighty John Peterman himself. It wasnt likely, but they could dream.
Its probably some schmuck wanting to sell us aluminum siding, Michelle joked.
Or someone doing a survey on cat food.
But Jenny noticed that neither one of them took their eyes away from the kitchen telephone.
Michelle edged herself from the chair on the third ring and reached the phone. Hello, this is Jenny and Michelles place, she said cheerfully in a perfect rendition of the efficient secretary.
Jenny studied her friend. Afraid to hope. Afraid to care.
Its for you, Michelle stated, and handed her the receiver. Then she mouthed, Its a man.
Jenny pointed her finger at her heart, wondering if shed misunderstood. For me?
Michelle nodded.
She took the phone and said in a friendly but professional-sounding voice, This is Jenny Lancaster.
Hello, Jenny.
Trey.
Jenny couldnt have been more shocked if itd been Andrew Lloyd Webber himself, wanting her to star in his next musical.
Trey! she said, barely managing to hide her shock.
I got your note, he announced.
It was a surprise to get your Thanksgiving card, she said, holding the receiver with both hands. She felt lightheaded and wasnt sure if it was the shock of Treys call or the fact that she hadnt eaten all day.
You arent coming home for the holidays.
Trey, her family. Everyone seemed to be pressuring her. It felt as if the walls were closing in around her. I cant come, she told him, unable to disguise her own bitter disappointment. I want to be there. More than anything, but I cant.
Thats what your note said. So the bright lights of the city have blinded you?
No. She longed to tell him how she hungered for the peace and solitude of Montana. New York City held its own excitement, its own energy. So often shed walked down the crowded avenues and felt a rhythm, a cadence, that all but sang up from the asphalt. For three years shed marched to that beat and hummed its special brand of music.
Yet the lone cry in the barren hills of home played longingly to her soul, its melody haunting her.
Your family misses you, Trey said, tightening the screws of her regrets.
Jenny bit into her lower lip.
I miss you, Trey added.
Jennys eyes flew open. Trey, the man whod invaded her dreams for weeks, admitted to missing her. Hed as much as said he wanted her home.
Regrets clamored against her chest, their fists sharp and pain-filled. I cant come, she whispered miserably.
Her words were met with silence.
Cant or wont? he asked starkly.

Brynn Cassidy crossed the street in front of Manhattan High and St. Philips Cathedral. She found Father Grady, the gray-haired priest whod become her friend, in the vestibule.
Hello, Father, she said.
Brynn, its good to see you, my girl. His green Irish eyes lit up with warm delight.
I got your message. You wanted to see me?
Yes. Come over to the rectory and Ill have Mrs. Houghton brew us a pot of tea.
Brynn glanced at her watch. She enjoyed visiting with Father Grady, but the older priest liked to talk and she didnt have time that afternoon.
Father Gradys eyes followed hers. Do you have an appointment?
I have to stop off at Roberto Alcantaras this afternoon and pick up my car.
I know Roberto well, Father Grady said, and motioned for her to precede him out of the church. Hes a fine young man. He paused to glance her way, and it seemed to Brynn that the priest was looking for her to elaborate. She didnt.
Emilios in my class.
Ah, yes, Emilio. Robertos done his best to keep his brother out of trouble. There havent been problems with Emilio, have there?
No, no, Brynn was quick to tell him.
Father Gradys face relaxed.
Brynn lowered her gaze. It wasnt Emilio shed clashed with, but Roberto. Im afraid Roberto doesnt think much of me.
Father Grady opened the door to the rectory. Im sure youre mistaken.
Brynn followed him inside. She preferred not to tell him about their brief confrontation. It rankled still. Roberto Alcantara had been both rude and unreasonable. But more than that, hed been wrong.
Im not sure I have time for tea, she reiterated when she realized that Father Grady fully intended for her to stay and chat anyway.
Nonsense. He escorted Brynn into the parlor and left her while he went in search of Mrs. Houghton, the elderly housekeeper who cared for Father Grady and the bishop when he was in residence.
Father Grady returned shortly with a tray and two cups. I was hoping youd be able to stop over this afternoon, he said as he set the tray on the coffee table. He handed Brynn a delicate china cup and took one himself before sitting across from her on the velvet settee. The church is sponsoring a dance this Friday evening for the youth group.
Brynn had seen the posters. Ive heard several of the kids mention it.
We generally have a good turnout.
Brynn was sure that was true.
I was wondering, Father Grady said, studying her above the china cup, if youd agree to be one of the chaperones.
The request took Brynn by surprise, although in retrospect she supposed it shouldnt.
The children are quite fond of you, he added as if he felt flattering her would be necessary. Modesto Diaz mentioned your name the other day. He said ... Father Grady paused, and his eyes sparkled with humor.
Yes? Brynn prodded.
Well, Modesto did say you were a little weird, but that he liked you anyway.
Brynn was sure her students didnt quite know what to make of her teaching methods.
I realize its an imposition asking you at this late date, Father Grady continued. Id consider it a personal favor if you could come.
Ill be happy to chaperone the dance, Brynn murmured.
Now, Father Grady said, and set down his teacup. Tell me what happened between you and Roberto Alcantara.
Its nothing, she said, preferring to make light of their differences. Actually Robertos been most helpful. My car broke down and hes fixing it for me.
Father Grady said nothing.
I was on my way to pick it up now.
Robertos been through some difficult times, the priest told her. Im not at liberty to tell you all the circumstances, but ...
Oh, please, no. I wouldnt want you to break a confidence. Its nothing, really.
If Roberto offended you ...
He didnt. We had a difference of opinion.
Father Grady seemed relieved. Im glad to hear that. If you do find him disagreeable, all I ask is that you give him a bit of slack. Hes a good man. Id vouch for him any day.
Im sure what you say is true. Brynn stood and set the teacup back on the tray. Now I really must be going.
Father Grady escorted her to the front door. Ill see you Friday evening, then, around seven?
Brynn nodded. Ill be here.
The priests eyes brightened with a smile. Thank you, Brynn, I promise you wont regret this.
Brynn briskly walked the few blocks to Roberto Alcantaras garage. Earlier that afternoon, Emilio had personally delivered the message that her car was ready for her. The youth made sure the entire class heard him, as though the two of them had a personal business arrangement. Brynn had been forced to conceal her irritation.
As the afternoon progressed, she discovered she wasnt looking forward to another encounter with Emilios older brother. The man was way off base. It was impossible to reason with anyone who regarded education as a waste of time. The fact that hed actually urged his younger brother to drop out of school was nothing short of criminal.
Yo, Miss Cassidy. Emilio, Modesto, and a few more of the boys from her class drove past her slowly and waved.
Brynn returned the gesture automatically. It wasnt until theyd turned the corner that she realized the boys were joyriding in her car.
Brynn bristled and hurried the last block to Robertos. When she reached the garage, she stormed in the door. Emilios driving around in my car.
Roberto, who was working on another car, straightened. Yes, I know.
She blinked. You know.
Yes, I gave him the keys myself.
The man had a way of flustering her unlike anyone shed ever encountered. Well, I want it back.
Youll get it. He returned to the truck he was working on, disappearing behind the hood.
Do you generally allow Emilio to ride around in your customers cars?
No. His answer was clipped and didnt invite further inquiries.
His attitudein fact, everything about Robertoirritated Brynn. I want my car returned, she insisted, her voice raised and tight. No matter what Father Grady claimed, it was plain to her that this man didnt have one shred of responsibility.
And youll have it.
Brynn crossed her arms and started to pace. Twice she made a show of looking at her watch.
Emilio will be back any moment, Roberto said, continuing to work on another vehicle.
Bent over the engine as he was, Brynn couldnt see his face, but she had the distinct impression the mechanic was smiling. Her irritation amused him. That infuriated Brynn all the more.
I want you to know that I dont appreciate being kept waiting.
Roberto straightened and reached for an oil rag; his dark, intense eyes meshed with hers. Im not one of your students, Miss Cassidy, so theres no need to yell.
I was not yelling. She realized she was and lowered her voice immediately.
Roberto grinned broadly. I suppose youd like to send me to the principal.
Aha! Her arm flew out and she pointed at him with her index finger, wagging it while she gathered her thoughts. I thought as much. You blame me because your brother was suspended.
On the contrary. Emilio knows not to fight on school grounds. What is it the law enforcement people are so fond of quoting? Do the crime, pay the time. My brother deserved what he got.
But you blame me?
No, I just wish youd quit filling my brothers head with garbage.
Brynn clenched her jaw in an effort not to argue. This was the same mine-riddled ground theyd covered earlier. Brynn had no desire to do battle with Roberto a second time.
From the corner of her eye, she saw her car pull into an empty parking slot in front of the garage.
Yo, Miss Cassidy, Emilio called out. Your cars running like a dream.
Despite her misgivings, Brynn managed a smile. If I could please have my bill, she said with stiff politeness.
Roberto gestured toward his brother. Emilio will take care of that.
Brynn hesitated before leaving the garage for the small outer office where Emilio stood. Although Roberto had been deliberately rude, she felt obligated to him. I want you to know I appreciate your help.
Involved once again with another vehicle, Roberto didnt bother to answer. It was almost as if he were ignoring her. His lack of a response to her peace offering offended her pride. Swallowing the small hurt, Brynn brushed the hair from her face.
Your car runs like new, Emilio told her as he stepped behind the cash register. Roberto asked me to test-drive it around the block. I hope you dont mind that I let a couple of my posse join me.
Four is more than a couple, she informed him primly.
I know, the youth said with a flash of pearly white teeth. But it isnt every day that we can say we rode in a teachers car.
Brynn decided it was best to not comment.
Emilio located the work order for her vehicle and scanned its contents. Brynn had been waiting for this moment, praying that the expense wouldnt wipe out the meager remainder of her budget for the month. The Escort had well over two hundred thousand miles on it and thus far had been relatively problem free. With the dread building up inside her, she opened her purse and took out her checkbook.
Something didnt appear to be right, because Emilio looked up from the bill. I need to ask Roberto something, he said, and walked around from behind the counter. In the other room, the two brothers talked in hushed tones.
Emilio returned, wearing a wide grin. Its on the house, he announced.
Brynn wasnt sure she understood. What do you mean?
Pride gleamed in the youths dark eyes. You dont owe us anything.
But I cant let you do that....
Roberto insists.
Still Brynn argued. That wouldnt be right.
Its a gift, Miss Cassidy, Emilio said with a deep sigh of frustration. Didnt you ever learn youre not supposed to question someone when they give you a gift? Some lady with manners wrote it up in a book. You read all the time ... you must have read that.
Brynn was uncertain. Let me at least pay for any parts.
No way. The teenager held up both hands as though she were holding him up.
But carburetors can be expensive. She didnt want Roberto absorbing the cost of this.
Roberto says he found another carburetor at the junkyard and got it for next to nothing. Besides, he let me do most of the work myself. His dark eyes pleaded with her to accept this small gift.
Emilio, I dont know how to thank you.
His face erupted in a wide smile. Ill think of something.
Roberto shouted from the other room, and Emilios smart smile disappeared. Think nothing of it, Miss Cassidy.
Thank you both again. Brynn felt like a fool for having made such an issue of Emilio driving her vehicle. She glanced toward the garage, but Roberto was bent over the side of the truck, busy at work. Tell your brother that Im grateful.
I will. Emilio followed her outside and held open her car door for her.
When she couldnt find her car keys, she eyed the youth. A desperate look came over him, and he slapped his hands over his shirt and pants pockets, then laughed and withdrew them from his hip pocket. I had you worried there, didnt I?
Brynn rolled her eyes, then started the engine. As Emilio had said earlier, it purred like new. Her car sounded better than it had in years. She backed out of the driveway. It was as she started down the street that she noticed Roberto Alcantara watching her from inside the building.

* * *

He owed her an apology, Roberto reasoned. Hed been angry and frustrated the day theyd met, and hed taken his irritation out on her. True, he believed the things hed said, but generally he kept his opinions to himself. It had helped relieve his irritation to sound off at Emilios teacher; but it hadnt been fair.
An hour before hed met Brynn, Roberto had learned his offer to lease a building in another neighborhood had been rejected. It hadnt been the first time a landlord had refused to rent to him. Naturally hed been given some flimsy excuse, but Roberto had learned long ago the real reason. No one wanted a Hispanic taking up residence nearby.
Brynn Cassidy was everything Emilio had said. Bright. Intelligent. Pretty. Roberto feared his younger brother was half in love with her himself. But this spunky teacher was off-limits to the both of them, and Roberto knew it. It would be best if he never saw her again.
Funny how a woman could be so dangerous; but Roberto had recognized it from the first moment theyd met. Brynn Cassidy just might teach him to dream, too.

Friday evening Brynn arrived at the gymnasium behind St. Philips. She walked into the gaily decorated room and stopped to admire the decorations. Red and green streamers were looped across the ceiling from one end of the room to the other. A refreshment table was set up alongside the folded bleachers.
Hello, Miss Cassidy. The first one to greet her was Suzie Chang, who looked exceptionally pretty in a dark blue silk pants suit.
Oh, Suzie, you look so nice.
The Chinese girl lowered her head and blushed. So do you.
Brynn hadnt been exactly sure what to wear and had opted for a blouse and skirt and patent-leather flats. Although shed attended a number of school dances at St. Marys, shed never actually served as a chaperone. Generally the girls school relied on parents and members of the PTA.
Miss Cassidy, Emilio called. He helped himself to a handful of cookies. What are you doing here?
Im a chaperone.
Hey, thats cool. Sos my brother.
Brynn hadnt recognized Roberto without his coveralls. She hadnt given Roberto much notice before, but now ... caught by his piercing dark eyes, Brynn found it difficult to look away.
Hello, Roberto.
Miss Cassidy. He nodded politely in her direction.
The music started. It came from a sound system with large speakers that blared from the front of the stage. No one seemed to want to be the first one on the dance floor.
Hey, you two, Emilio said. Shouldnt you start the dancing or something?

Hannah needed to talk to Joshua. It was important that she return the gloves as soon as possible. It was wrong of her to have kept them this long. Then to walk past him on the street and pretend that she didnt know him was a terrible insult. Shed witnessed for herself the surprise and confusion in his gaze. Yet she was forever grateful that hed read her silent message and hadnt greeted her. Hannah didnt know how she would explain knowing him to her mother.
For herself, Hannah was both bewildered and guilty, and she felt like a coward. It was unfair to Joshua to lead him to believe that she was free to care for him. Unfair to Carl, whod courted her faithfully these many months. Shed juggled with her conscience until she couldnt think straight any longer.
I do wish we werent doing this, Hannah said to her mother.
Doing what? Ruth questioned. Buying my daughter a trousseau? Dont be ridiculous.
We havent set the wedding date yet.
You will soon enough. In the eyes of her parents she was all but married to Carl Rabinsky.
Your father and I have patiently waited all these years for a man who was worthy of you.
A lifetime of accepting what her parents felt was right was what helped Hannah hold her tongue.
Such a wedding youll have, Ruth promised, her eyes alight with excitement.
Hannah found she couldnt look at her mother.
Your fathers already talking about the food for the reception. I promise you it will be one that people will talk about for years to come. You are our only child. Gods gift to us. Our joy.
Mama, what if I dont love Carl?
Her mother hesitated, but for only a moment. Nonsense. I know you, Hannah, you wouldnt have agreed to be his wife if you didnt love him. Carl will make you a good husband. Every girl has doubts when it comes time to pledge her heart to one man.
What if Id met another man?
Who? her mother demanded as if this were impossible.
Someone I liked very much and would like to know better.
Her mother frowned and shook her head. You wont. But if you do, then talk to Carl. Tell him your thoughts.
I will, Hannah promised, but she had the feeling that it would be even more difficult to discuss this matter with Carl than with her mother.
Now come along, we have lots to buy.
Hannah shuffled along beside her mother. Never had she dreamed that she would dread a shopping expedition the way she did this one.
It was in Saks Fifth Avenue that her mother stopped. Shall we look at wedding dresses? Ruth asked, her eyes warm and gentle.
Dont you think that would be premature? Already Hannahs arms were burdened with packages. Im tired, Mama, can we go home?
Ruth released a low sigh. Yes, perhaps that would be for the best.
Outside once more, Hannah felt invigorated as the cold hit against her cheeks. She matched her steps with those of her mother, who walked along, humming softly to herself. It took Hannah a moment to realize where the melody was coming from.
Youre singing, Hannah commented.
Ruth laughed and nodded. So I am. I do when Im especially happy. As they stopped for traffic, Ruth placed her hands against Hannahs pink cheeks. Youre going to be the most beautiful bride in all of New York. Mark my words, Hannah Morganstern. I get excited every time I think about planning your wedding.
Once they were back at the deli, Hannah escaped to her room. As soon as she could, she made an excuse to go out. Almost always she told her parents where she was going, but not this time.
When she arrived at Joshuas office the receptionist recognized her.
Is Mr. Shadduck available? she asked.
The woman looked down at the schedule. He left no more than a minute ago.
Oh. She wasnt able to hide her frustration.
You might be able to catch him.
Thank you. Hannah rushed out of the office and hurried into the first available elevator. Her heart felt as though it would explode as she made her way to the front of the office building. On the sidewalk, she looked both ways and sighed with relief when she spied Joshua walking away from her, carrying a briefcase.
Joshua, she called.
He turned at the sound of her voice, and his face lit up with pleasure. Hannah. He started toward her.
Im so sorry, she said in a breathless rush. She planted her hand over her heart in an effort to regain her breath.
Joshua wrapped his arm around her shoulders and steered her out of the heavy foot traffic. Dont worry about it, he said gently.
But ... Shed been unforgivably rude.
Lets sit down a minute and talk this out, he suggested.
Hannah knew his idea was much better than her handing him back his gift in the middle of a New York sidewalk. At the same time, she feared that spending time with Joshua, even a short amount, would make it all the more difficult to do what she knew she must.
They strolled until Joshua pointed across the street to a five-star hotel famous for its afternoon teas.
Hannah wanted to protest that a cafe would serve just as well, but she wasnt given the opportunity. Before she could suggest some place else, Joshua had taken her by the arm. Together they raced across the street.
The hotel lobby was filled with polished crystal. Enormous chandeliers gleamed from above, their glittering lights transforming the entire area.
Huge floral wreaths decorated in gold lam bows hung from marble columns. The registration desk was checkered with poinsettias. Light music swirled about them like a cool autumn mist. Before Hannah had a chance to comment, she was led into a private dining room.
Before Joshua could give the man instructions, the waiter handed them a gold-tasseled menu. Joshua ordered the tea, and the other man quietly slipped away.
Joshua smiled at her. You said there was something you wanted to tell me?

Seven
This meeting with Joshua was so much more difficult than Hannah thought it would be. But there was no help for it. She had to tell him she was engaged to Carl. To delay any longer would be a grave disservice to them both. As they sat in the elegant hotel restaurant waiting for the tea to be served, Hannah struggled to find the words.
Joshua, she said, dragging a deep breath through her lungs, her heart heavy.
You received the gloves?
Yes, thank you, but I cant accept
Joshua Shadduck?
Hannah was cut off midsentence by a well-dressed middle-aged woman who stopped at their table. Her gaze drifted from Joshua to Hannah, and her eyes were marked with warm approval.
Gloria. Joshua stood and enthusiastically hugged the white-haired woman. He turned to Hannah. Hannah Morganstern, meet Judge Fowler.
Impressed to meet a judge, Hannah smiled and said, Im honored.
Ive been meaning to get in touch with you all week, Gloria said. Her gaze connected briefly with Hannahs once again. But I can see that now isnt a good time. I promise Ill call you soon.
Ill look forward to hearing from you, Joshua returned. Before he could reseat himself, the judge whispered something in his ear, then turned away.
Joshua grinned broadly, then explained to Hannah. She approves.
Approves?
Of you. She told me it was high time I ... well, never mind.
Joshua. A stout figure of a man approached their table next. By George, its good to see you, he said, sounding genuinely pleased.
Hello, Tom. Although Hannah didnt know Joshua well, she could hear the frustration in his voice.
The other man studied Hannah with barely disguised admiration. His blue eyes twinkled. Before Joshua could introduce him properly, he stretched his hand across the table. Tom Colfax, he said.
Hannah Morganstern, she replied, and they exchanged brief handshakes.
Toms admiration was straightforward. I know this sounds like a worn-out line, but have we met?
I dont think so, Hannah replied.
Tom rubbed the side of his jaw, then shook his head as if to say he was certain hed seen her someplace before.
The two men exchanged information, then Tom drifted away. He continued to wear a puzzled look and glanced over his shoulder once.
Joshua exhaled sharply. This isnt going to work, he muttered.
That was what Hannah had been struggling to tell him since theyd met, but she hadnt been able to put it into words.
Joshua set the linen napkin on the table. Come on, lets get out of here.
Hannahs first instinct was to argue, but she wasnt given the chance as she followed Joshua through the elegantly decorated lobby to the street outside. Where are we going? she asked, a little breathless.
He turned as though he hadnt given the matter a second thought. I dont know. My apartment is a short walk from here.
I cant, she said, her heart in her throat. I have to be back shortly.
Joshuas gaze narrowed as if to suggest he didnt believe her. Already?
Yes. She should have told him earlier and been done with it, but each time she shared his company it became more difficult. Now she found herself frantic to say what she must.
Joshua, please listen to me. She hardly sounded like herself. Her voice was tight with emotion as she brushed the hair from her cheek. She opened her purse and handed him the soft deerskin gloves. I cant keep these. Theyre a lovely, thoughtful gift, but I cant accept them.
He took the gloves, but his eyes revealed his disappointment. Why not?
People wove their way around them, and her throat tightened with regret. Im so sorry, Joshua, so very sorry, but Im ... Theres someone else. That sounded much better than announcing she was engaged.
Joshuas face revealed nothing. The man you were with at the parade?
Yes.
The one who abandoned you? His feelings for Carl were more than clear.
Carl didnt abandon me, we simply lost each other. Carl hadnt deserted her, not on purpose, and she found it important that Joshua know that. Carl might have his faults, but nearly everyone was flawed in one way or another. Hed gotten separated from her on Thanksgiving Day, and with so many people crowding the sidewalks, watching the parade, it had been impossible for him to find her again.
For a long time Joshua said nothing. Then, Are you going to marry him?
A definitive answer was her only recourse. Joshua deserved the truth. To hedge now might give him reason to believe there was a chance for them.
Were engaged.
That wasnt my question. I asked if you were going to marry him.
Yes ... of course. But she sounded unsure even to her own ears.
He hesitated, but only for a moment. I see.
Now was the time to turn away. To end any kind of relationship before it began. One thing was certain: she shouldnt have paused. But she did. I like you, Joshua. More than she should. More than she wanted to. I misled you, and I regret that.
Carl isnt right for you. His words were stark and cool, his gaze intense.
You dont know that, she argued. Youve never even met Carl.
I know you.
She lowered her eyes because meeting his gaze had become impossible. Her throat felt as if it were about to close up on her. I have to go.
Not yet, he said, stopping her. He backed her into the shadows until her shoulders butted against the side of the brick structure. Instinctively she clenched the lapels of his overcoat. Even when she realized he intended to kiss her, she couldnt find the words to object. Being inherently honest, Hannah realized this was exactly what shed wanted for a long time.
Slowly, as though he expected her to protest, Joshua lowered his mouth to hers. She assumed his kiss would be hard and demanding, a penance required for having misled him. A penalty to be paid.
But she was wrong.
He pressed his lips gently over hers in the lightest, the tenderest, of contacts. So sweet. So smooth. The pressure increased, so gradual at first that she didnt notice. His lips worked over hers, sliding, then deepening, encouraging her to open to him.
With him as her tutor, Hannah eased open her mouth and moaned. This was nothing like the quick pecks and almost apologetic exchanges shed experienced with Carl. Nothing like anything shed experienced with anyone. Her nails dug into his coat, and she responded with a lifetime of pent-up longings.
It seemed to require a great deal of effort for Joshua to break off the kiss. Even then he seemed to ease himself away from her with a series of short but equally potent kisses.
He held her against him, and she stayed, the ragged edge of his breathing echoing in her ear. Her own breathing was just as unstable. Wrapped in the warm cocoon of his arms, Hannah never wanted to leave.
Please ... my family is waiting. They dont know where I am. It was pointless to continue. Pointless to torture themselves.
His arms tightened before he released her. Meet me, he whispered against her cheek. Monday evening at eight at the skating rink at Rockefeller Center.
I cant. You know I cant.
Be there, Hannah, he pleaded. I need time to think. We both do. You dont love Carl.
Joshua ...
You dont love him, he returned with conviction, otherwise youd never have allowed me to kiss you like that. With that he turned away.
Hannah wanted to run after him and explain that she wouldnt show. She had no intention of continuing this charade. That was why shed told him about Carl. It was too late for them. Much too late.
Joshua, she called.
He ignored her, and because she was forced into it, she raced after him. She was out of breath by the time she reached him.
I wont be there, she cried. I wont.
He turned, and for the first time since shed told him about her commitment to Carl, he smiled, saying without words that he believed otherwise.
Youll be wasting your time, she argued heatedly.
Joshua said nothing, then wrapped his arm around her waist and dragged her to him. His kiss was short but thorough. When he finished, he exhaled slowly. Youll be there, he said with supreme confidence. You wont be able to stay away.

Will Hannah meet Joshua? Shirley asked Goodness. The two had parked themselves atop a light fixture in the Morgansterns deli. Hannahs father was locking the doors while her mother was upstairs preparing the evening meal.
What do you think? Goodness was downright gleeful.
What do I think? Shirley repeated. I think youre headed for serious trouble with Gabriel, thats what I think.
Goodness couldnt have disagreed more. Gabriel knew exactly what was going to happen, she insisted. He might think Carl Rabinsky is the cats meow, but you and I both know he isnt the right man for Hannah.
Shirleys look was skeptical. Why isnt he?
Its clear to me that Carls as confused about all this as Hannah. The poor boys parents had more to do with the engagement than he did. They pushed him into it.
How do you know that?
I dont, Goodness confessed reluctantly, but Id wager a good deal that was the case.
What youre wagering, Shirley seemed to feel obliged to tell her, is our futures. Youve done this before, you know. My heaven, she continued, wringing her hands. I cant get involved in your prayer request, not when Ive got troubles of my own.
Oh?
Its Brynn and Roberto. This is simply not the time for her to walk around with her head in the clouds. She needs her wits about her. Im afraid something serious is about to happen, and I cant be constantly fretting about what youre getting into.
Me? If she didnt know better, Goodness would be insulted.
Yes, you. I beg of you, Goodness, kindly leave matters be with Carl and Hannah.
Goodness considered it seriously, but not for long. She didnt mean to be a rabble-rouser, but there were some matters that one couldnt ignore. Unfortunately this was one of those times.
I cant.
Shirley groaned, and her head slumped forward. Why did I know you were going to say that?
Im sorry, really I am. But I asked myself exactly why Gabriel would assign this particular prayer request to me.
What do you mean?
Think about it, Goodness said, crossing her arms. Ruth Morganstern prayed that Hannah would make a good marriage.
Yes, Shirley agreed impatiently.
It was as clear as the feathers in our wings that Carl was about to ask for Hannahs hand in marriage. Both Hannahs parents are nuts about Carl, and his family about her.
So?
Goodness had a hard time believing that her fellow prayer ambassador could be so thickheaded. Dont you see?
Obviously not.
Well, Goodness said with a sorry lack of patience, Gabriel assumed the assignment would be a snap. An engagement to Carl was in the cards already. Really all that was required was for me to stand back and let it happen. Once Hannah was formally engaged to Carl I was supposed to pretend it was all my doing and promptly return to heaven, the assignment complete.
Hannah is formally engaged to Carl, Shirley reminded her.
Shirley was missing her point entirely. Thats true, but Gabriel doesnt know that.
In other words, Shirley said, walking circles around Goodness as she mulled over the situation, you think this job is another one of Gabriels little token assignments.
Goodness folded her arms and nodded with a good deal of ceremony. I do indeed, and frankly Im insulted.
You mean like the chess set for Craig?
Goodness nodded. Exactly.
This information seemed to fluster her friend. My oh my, I dont know what to think.
Well, I do, Goodness returned with a hint of self-righteousness. It was clear to me from the first that Carl Rabinsky isnt the right husband for Hannah. In good conscience I cant idly stand by and let her marry the wrong man.
What are you going to do? Shirley asked, and then crunched up her face as if she were afraid of the answer.
Goodness relaxed and smiled. Im not sure yet, but I do know one thing.
Whats that?
Shes not going to marry Carl.

Sunday morning Brynn quietly slipped inside the pew at St. Philips, crossed herself, and knelt on the padded kneeler. She closed her eyes and bowed her head, fully intending to pray. But it wasnt thoughts of God that filled her mind. Instead she found herself mulling over the night before with the church youth group and Roberto Alcantara.
Every time Brynn remembered the dance in which theyd shared the duty as chaperones, a warm, expectant feeling stole over her. It had all started innocently enough when theyd first danced together. No one seemed to want to be the first couple on the floor, so Roberto, stiffly, had asked her. She knew from the way his lips tightened that he wasnt keen on being her partner. Taking it personally, shed glared back at him, letting it be known that she didnt relish his company, either.
Yet from that shaky beginning, something fragile and exciting had blossomed. As the music started, Roberto had held her awkwardly in his arms, his body rigid, as if to avoid touching her.
Then gradually, as theyd warmed to the rhythm of the music, hed relaxed. Because he had, she had too. Slowly, almost without being aware of what was happening, shed found herself tucked securely in Robertos arms. It amazed her how well they performed together, how easy his steps were to follow. Anyone looking at them would have assumed they were longtime partners. Halfway through the dance Roberto had smiled, and shed shyly returned the gesture. Then hed tucked his head close to hers, and theyd continued to sway gracefully across the polished gym floor.
From that point forward in the evening, Brynn had looked for an excuse to dance with Roberto a second time. Unfortunately their duties had prevented them from spending any more time together. The teenage dance had gone on until almost midnight, and the high schoolers couldnt have kept them apart more had they plotted to do so.
From the silent messages Roberto had sent her way, from the quick exchanges of eye contact, shed realized that he was as eager to be with her as she was with him.
After the dance, Roberto had walked her to her car. At first theyd been shy with each other, not knowing what to say. But gradually that had changed, and theyd chatted freely. Brynn was certain Roberto had meant to ask her for a date, but before hed had a chance, a fight had broken out between two boys. In his frustration, Roberto had closed his eyes and forcefully released his breath. Brynn had felt the regret in him as hed turned away and hurried toward the scuffle.
Long after she was home, Brynn had found it impossible to sleep. Again and again her mind had reviewed the one dance shed shared with Roberto. The memory had left her hungering to learn what would have happened had they been free to enjoy one anothers company.
The more she thought about Roberto, the more she admired his accomplishments. He worked hard and seemed determined to make his business a successful enterprise. He genuinely cared about his brothers welfare and took an active role in the community. Father Grady, whom Brynn considered to be an excellent judge of character, couldnt say enough good about Roberto.
True, theyd started off on the wrong foot, but Brynn was eager to make up for that and start again. If she did have Gods attention, then what she sought was for Roberto to be at church this morning.
Giving up the pretense of praying, Brynn opened her eyes and sat on the hard wooden pew. She didnt see Roberto and couldnt swivel around to look without being obvious.
Triumphant organ music announced the beginning of mass, which Father Grady celebrated. Not until Brynn stood to follow the others to the altar for communion did she spy Roberto. Instantly her heart gladdened.
He saw her too, because she watched as a brief smile touched his eyes.
After mass Roberto was waiting on the top of the church steps for her. Following the throng of the faithful out of the large double-wide doors, Brynn saw Roberto almost immediately and waved.
So we meet again, she said. She hated the breathless quality to her voice, but she couldnt hide how pleased she was to see him.
He acknowledged her with a short nod.
Did the boys give you any trouble last night? she asked, wanting to learn the outcome of the fight.
He shrugged as though to say it wasnt anything serious. I separated them and had Emilio take Modesto with him.
Im glad.
Once again Brynn noted what a fine figure of a man Roberto made. She didnt know what had blinded her earlier.
So it was Modesto, she murmured. That didnt surprise her.
Mike and Modesto were going at it until
Mike? Brynn interrupted. Not Mike Glasser?
Thats the name.
Brynn hadnt seen the morose young man all evening. But then it would be characteristic of Mike to conceal himself in the shadows. If he had come to the dance, then perhaps some girl had caught his eye. Brynn hoped that was the case. She genuinely liked Mike and wished she knew how to reach him.
It surprises me that Mike would fight anyone, especially Modesto. Although she said the words aloud, she didnt expect Roberto to comment. Mike wasnt a fighter. Modesto was much more savvy when it came to such matters. The Hispanic youth would have dropped Mike in record time.
Whatever plagued him was a hot issue, Roberto commented. From what the others told me, Mike went after Modesto without provocation. The funny thing is, I dont think Modesto really wanted to fight him.
But you were able to break it up before anyone was hurt? she asked, unable to hide her concern.
Roberto nodded, and a hint of a smile turned up the edges of his mouth. No problem.
Brynn relaxed.
Roberto was about to say something when Emilio strolled past casually and stopped as though surprised to find his older brother spending time with his teacher. Mornin, Miss Cassidy.
Morning, Emilio.
The teenager turned to his brother. Have you asked her yet?
Roberto answered in Spanish, his voice low and threatening.
Emilio ignored him. Hes going to invite you over to the apartment for breakfast. Im supposed to make myself scarce. He grinned boyishly and added in a low voice, Id be careful if I were you, cause it looks to me like my big brother intends to put the make on you.
Brynn couldnt keep from laughing, but Roberto wasnt amused. He spoke again, and his tone was clear. He wanted his brother to shut up and leave them alone.
If Emilio felt the least bit threatened by his brother, he didnt let it show. If anything, the younger Alcantara couldnt have looked more pleased.
You should have seen Roberto this morning, he continued undaunted. His smile was full and cocky. He was up at the crack of dawn, shaving and splashing on that fancy cologne he likes so well.
Emilio. Again Roberto threatened him.
He likes you, Teach, big time.
Brynn knew smiling was probably the worst thing she could do, but she couldnt make herself stop. Emilio was telling her everything she wanted to hear.
Disgruntled, Roberto pulled his wallet from his hip pocket and jerked out a twenty-dollar bill. Get lost for a couple of hours, he instructed.
A wide grin split Emilios face. Im outta here. He looked to Brynn and winked. Have fun, you two. With that he was gone.
I apologize for my brother, Roberto said flatly.
Brynn arched one brow. Was what Emilio said true? Do you intend to put the make on me?
His intensely dark eyes didnt waver from hers. That depends.
On what?
Several matters, he said, and cleared his throat. Mostly on if you feel the same way about me as I do you. He reached for her hand and laced his fingers with hers. Id be honored if youd join me for breakfast.
Does that mean youre volunteering to cook?
He didnt hesitate. Yes.
Then I accept.
Hand in hand they strolled down the sidewalk.
We have nothing in common. It was as though he felt obligated to remind her of that.
I certainly dont agree with your views on education, she added. If he was looking for reasons they shouldnt see each other, she had a list of her own.
Robertos chest deflated as he released a pent-up breath. Youre Irish, Im Hispanic. I have no business bringing you home with me.
But you are, arent you?
Yes, he said, as though admitting to a fault.
Why? Perhaps she should leave matters as they are and not ask.
Because I had to know. His voice was gruff with impatience, but Brynn understood. She was equally curious. Equally fascinated with him.
I needed to know, too, she admitted softly.
Robertos hand squeezed hers, and when she looked up, he smiled.
He brought her to the apartment he shared with his brother. The compact unit was decorated with large overstuffed pieces of furniture. The royal blue material had several crocheted doilies flattened across the back.
My mother made those, Roberto explained when Brynn ran her finger over the delicately crafted cotton threads.
Theyre lovely.
So are you.
Before Brynn could comment, Roberto turned her in his arms. She came willingly, without a qualm, eager for his kiss. He didnt disappoint her. Soon his mouth settled firmly over hers. His kiss was both hot and compelling. Brynns breath caught in her throat as he wrappped her securely in his arms. She buried her face in the hollow of his neck and breathed in the warm, spicy rum scent of him. The bay cologne reminded her of what Emilio had said, and she smiled softly and pressed her lips against his smoothly shaven skin.
I meant to wait to kiss you, he confessed, his lips in her hair. At least until after breakfast.
I didnt want to wait.
He continued to caress her back. We shouldnt be doing this.
Youre right, she agreed, and stepped up onto the tips of her toes to kiss him again. The world dissolved, melting away any resistance that might have remained. Were both crazy.
The world is crazy, Roberto agreed, but I havent the strength to resist you.
Brynn closed her eyes and pressed her head against the solid strength of his shoulder. She was content to stay as they were, but she wasnt blind to their differences. What Roberto said was true. They had little in common other than the fact that they were crazy about each other.

Jenny was convinced she was coming down with a cold. Her throat ached, and she alternated between hot flashes and the chills. And she swore every bone in her body ached. A cold complicated by the flu.
She managed to sing her way through the two production numbers she was involved in from South Pacific. She smiled as if she hadnt a care in the world, delivered the dinners to her customers, and counted the minutes until shed finished her shift.
When she returned to the apartment the first thing she did was take a long, hot shower. Even with the comfort of warm water raining down on her, she developed a hacking cough.
You dont sound so good, Michelle called from the other side of the bathroom.
Im miserable.
Do you want me to get you some aspirin? her roommate offered.
No thanks, Jenny said as she opened the door. I took some when I got home. Dressed in a thick terry-cloth robe, she ambled into the living room and buried herself under the wool afghan her mother had mailed her last Christmas.
I bet a nice hot bowl of chicken soup would help you to feel better.
Im fine, Nurse Michelle, Jenny teased.
You need something, her roommate insisted.
What she needed, Jenny realized, wasnt to be easily found. More than at any other time since her arrival in New York, Jenny needed her family.
Jenny could feel a sneeze coming on, and she reached for a tissue and nearly blew a hole through it with the force of her misery.
My goodness. Michelle laughed.
What about the Christmas party? Jenny asked, wanting to take her mind off her woes. She needed to divert Michelle before she whipped out a thermometer and dispensed massive doses of TLC. Struggling as she was against bouts of self-pity, Jenny preferred to suffer alone.
Oh, my goodness, the party! I nearly forgot. Michelle walked over to her purse and took out a list. I talked to Paul. You remember Paul Fredricks, dont you?
Jenny nodded, although she hadnt a clue who Paul was. Shed figure it out in a moment.
Anyway, Paul says the fifth would work out great.
The fifth is fine with me. For the life of her, Jenny couldnt figure out why they would need to clear the date with Paul Fredricks, but again that was something she would leave to reason out later.
Do you agree?
Sure. One day was as good as any other as far as she was concerned. Ill make sure I have the fifth off.
Good. I added Pauls name to the list while I was at it. You dont object, do you?
Of course he can come. The more the merrier. Paul Fredricks, of course. He was the actor whod captured Michelles attention and her heart after one short meeting. Her roommate seemed to think no one had noticed. Perhaps no one else had, but Jenny wasnt as easily fooled.
Look, Michelle said, standing inside the kitchen. The message machine is blinking.
I forgot to check, Jenny admitted. The first order of business when shed returned home was aspirin and a hot shower. Who called?
I dont know. Michelle pushed down the button and reached for a pad and pen.
Its Irene, Michelle cried.
It would be just like their agent to leave the most important news of their careers on the answering machine.
I dont know where you girls are, Irenes elevated voice said, but I sincerely hope youll be home soon. Now listen up! I talked to John Peterman this afternoon, and he wants you both back for a second audition first thing in the morning. I repeat, he wants to see you both again.
Michelle looked to Jenny.
Jenny looked to Michelle.
Michelle threw open her arms and screamed.
Her cold forgotten, Jenny tossed aside the quilt and raced over to her friends open arms. Together they danced around the living room, screaming at the top of their lungs.
Then Jenny started to cough again.

Eight
Suzie, can I see you after class? Brynn asked the Chinese girl. Of all her students, Brynn found real encouragement in watching this particular teenagers progress. Suzies written essays revealed a quick, analytical mind and a thirst for knowledge. Brynn hadnt said anything to Suzie, but shed taken it upon herself to inquire about the possibility of a full-ride scholarship for the girl.
Suzie glanced up from her desk and blinked. Did I do something wrong?
No, not at all, Brynn quickly assured her. She patted Suzies shoulder, and the girl returned to her writing assignment.
Do you want to see me, too? Malcolm called from the back of the classroom, disrupting the calm. That was Malcolms specialty.
Not today, she said.
Malcolm folded his muscular arms and leaned back on his desk chair until his shoulders were braced against the wall. His eyes were round with irritation. I heard you stopped by my place yesterday and asked to speak to my mother. If you got something to say to her, you can say it to me first. He lifted his chin an inch in open defiance.
It was clear Malcolm didnt trust her. Brynn doubted that many of her students did, although shed worked hard to gain their confidence. Again and again she butted her head against the thick walls of doubt and suspicion. To the best of her knowledge she hadnt gone against her word once, yet her students acted as if they were waiting for her to knife them in the back. Certainly the incident with Emilio that first day hadnt helped matters any.
My stepdad said you stopped by my place, too. This was from Yolanda.
Are you looking to make trouble for us? It was Malcolm again.
Whatd you want with my mom?
Yeah. You aint got no right to talk about me behind my back.
Brynn could see that shed best explain the purpose of those after-school visits. Shed hoped meeting her students families would be a positive experience; instead shed incurred the mistrust and ire of her class.
Emilio sat up and looked over his shoulder. Miss Cassidy comes to my apartment most every afternoon, and I aint making no fuss about it.
His remark was followed by several boos and hisses. Emilio just smiled. He reveled in the fact that Brynn had been seeing a good deal of Roberto. What he said, however, wasnt true.
All right, all right, Brynn said, holding up her hands. It looks like I owe you an explanation.
Youre damn right you do.
Brynn looked into a sea of angry faces. Malcolm, youre right. I did stop off at your place yesterday afternoon. I wanted to tell your mother it was a pleasure to have you in my class and report to her that your progress in the last few weeks has been nothing short of amazing.
Malcolms mouth snapped closed. He looked confused, then relieved. You wanted to tell her good things about me?
Is that why you came to my house? Yolanda asked.
Yes. Id hoped to visit everyones family by the end of the quarter. Yolanda, I couldnt be more pleased with how well youre doing. Youve maintained a B average, and I wanted your family to know how hard youve been working.
You wont be able to say that about me.
Denzil was right about that. His grades had been dismal, and he gave little if any thought or effort to his assignments. His contributions to the class were limited to disruptions and arguments.
Well, she said, thinking on her feet. I thought Id tell your parents how Ive noticed your ability to argue an issue from any point. Thats the quality of a good attorney. If you were the least bit interested, you could make a career learning the law.
An attorney? Denzil sat up straighter on his chair. Me, an attorney? He laughed under his breath. Ive had lots of experience with the law, and Ive met some of those fast-talkin lawyers, too. Only they were looking to toss my butt in jail.
There are other kinds of attorneys, Brynn told him.
I could wear one of those fancy silk suits, couldnt I?
Of course. Listen, Denzil, she said, her convictions causing her voice to grow strong and sure, this is exactly what Ive been telling you all quarter. You can be anything you want. The power is right here inside you. She held her clenched fist against her breast. All youve got to do is want it bad enough.
I aint never had anyone tell my mother good things about me, Yolanda said. The only time a teacher ever came to my house was because she thought I took something out of her stinking purse. Looking away, she sighed loudly. I did it, too, because that teacher was a real jerk. She wasnt even fair.
You got any good things to tell Roberto about me? Emilio asked, and draped his elbows over the back of his seat. He was sitting proud.
I have plenty to tell Roberto about you, Brynn teased as she rubbed the chalk dust from the palms of her hands.
The class laughed, just as Brynn intended they should.
Now that Ive answered your questions, please return to your writing assignment. Generally, when she directed her students attention back to a written task, a grumble of discontent would spread across the room. Not this time.
After the bell rang, dismissing the class, Suzie Chang made her way to Brynns desk. The shy girl clenched her books tightly. You wanted to talk to me, Miss Cassidy?
Yes, Brynn said, scooting the chair back. Suzie, youre an excellent student. This last paper you wrote about Anne Frank is as good as anything Ive read on the subject. You revealed both insight and sensitivity to the Jewish girls plight.
Uncomfortable with the praise, the teenager lowered her gaze. Thank you.
Id like to know if you plan on attending college next year.
College. The girls eyes lit up briefly, then she sobered and slowly shook her head. I cant.
But Suzie, youre exactly the kind of student who should continue their education. I can feel the hunger in you, the desire to learn. Theres a way, I promise you. I can help you if you want.
The girl shifted her weight from one foot to the other. She kept her head lowered and refused to meet Brynns eyes. I cant, Miss Cassidy.
Suzie, didnt you hear what I said to Denzil earlier? Where theres a will, theres a way. Now if youre worried about the money, there are scholarships. Ill help you fill out the applications, and ...
Suzies head snapped up, and Brynn noticed that the teenagers face was streaked with tears. A scholarship isnt going to help me, Miss Cassidy. Nothing will. Having said that, Suzie turned and raced out of the classroom.
Stunned, Brynn sat at her desk for several moments, pondering Suzies words. Nothing would help her? That made no sense.
Feeling as though shed somehow failed her brightest student, Brynn left the building, determined to try again to meet Denzils and Malcolms parents. Perhaps shed have more success now that the word was out that she wanted to compliment the teens instead of complain.
A block away from the school the streets were dirty, filled with litter and broken glass. A discarded davenport was turned upside down and garbage dumped in the ripped undercarriage. The smells of rotting food were potent enough to cause Brynn to turn her head away.
Dusk settled over the city. The streetlights that werent broken blinked on, casting a clouded yellow glow to the filth on the sidewalk.
From the distance, Brynn watched as a man approached her. She stiffened, then reminded herself she had nothing to fear. This was a violent neighborhood, but like Father Grady, Brynn had faith in the goodwill of those who occupied the tenements.
As the figure of the man grew near, Brynn recognized Roberto. When he realized it was she, his steps became quick and filled with purpose. The tension drained from her, and Brynn relaxed. Theyd met twice in the last week, swift snatches of time theyd stolen in an effort to be together. Five minutes. Ten. Just long enough to convey that they wished it could be longer.
Roberto. She didnt bother to disguise her happiness.
Roberto was frowning. Its true, then, he said, sounding none too pleased.
What is? she asked, surprised by his attitude.
Emilio stopped off at the garage to tell me you were parading around these streets after school visiting families.
I wanted
Dont you realize its dark now by four-thirty? he barked. He jerked off his baseball cap and slapped it against his knee in a display of disgust.
Roberto, whats wrong?
Are you crazy, woman? He said something in Spanish, and from his tone, it was just as well she didnt understand. Youre inviting trouble. I thought you had more sense than this.
Roberto, if youd only listen.
To what? Dont you realize this is New York City? Youre targeting yourself to be the next crime victim. Youre inviting trouble. I cant follow you around and protect you.
She didnt appreciate his attitude, but she didnt want to argue, not when theyd come so far. She stiffened her shoulders and glared right back at him. The cold wind whipped about her face as she struggled with her composure. I know what Im doing.
You havent got a clue, Roberto snapped. What could possibly be so important for you to risk your life?
She tried to tell herself that he was so angry because he cared, but his attitude stung. The people in this neighborhood knew her. She couldnt go more than a few houses before she met someone she recognized from either the school or the church.
Dont you understand? Roberto said, gripping her by the shoulders. You cant change the world on your own.
But I can help these kids.
Brynn, oh, my darling fool. Briefly he closed his eyes, struggling to hold on to his temper. You can do nothing. You can change nothing. Denzil, Malcolm, and all the rest will live and die in this neighborhood the same way Emilio and I will.
Thats not true, she argued. She could make a difference. She believed that with all her heart. That was the reason she was here.
Grow up, he said, his fingers biting deep into her coat. Youve got to step out of this dream world youre living in. Look around you. Cant you see?
Brynn refused to believe what he said. We have a difference of opinion, Roberto, but thats no reason to treat me like a child.
He seemed to be struggling within himself. After a moment, he dropped his hands and his features hardened. Go home, Brynn. For the love of God, go home where you belong. You dont fit in here. Just go! he shouted, and gave her a light push.
She blanched. You dont mean that.
Ive never been more serious in my life. Pack your bags and head back to Rhode Island or wherever it was you came from before you get yourself killed. Please, Brynn. This last part came on a rush of emotion.
The pain his words produced sucked the breath from her lungs. At first she could barely think, and when she spoke her voice betrayed her pain. You want me to leave?
He held himself stiffly away from her and didnt answer for several moments. Then something broke within him, and he expelled his breath forcefully. Before her heart beat again, before she could take another breath, Roberto brought her into his arms. No, I dont want you to go.
Her arms circled his waist, and he relaxed. Nothing had ever felt more right than to be in Robertos arms.
Promise me, if youre so anxious to go out nights, youll let either me or Emilio accompany you.
She remembered his words about not having the time to be her bodyguard and knew hed said those hurtful things only because he was worried for her.
Promise? he demanded.
She nodded, and he kissed the top of her head.
Beneath the warm, golden glow of the streetlight, the man whod shouted at her only moments earlier now bent his head to kiss her. What am I going to do with you? he said.
Brynn smiled to herself, content in his arms. In time hed realize she could make a difference. If it was only to be in one life, then so be it, but she wouldnt walk away from her students, nor would she leave this neighborhood, no matter what Roberto thought.

Jenny stood on stage, dressed in her tights and dancing shoes. Five others stood with her, including Michelle. All triple threats. Each one accomplished in singing, dancing, and acting. Each one eager to be John Petermans latest Broadway discovery. Each one pleading silently to be chosen for this role. Any role. A chance.
Bright lights blinded her, but Jenny was accustomed to not being able to view her audience. Her throat was raw and her head throbbed, but she ignored the cold and flu symptoms as best she could.
Miss Lancaster.
The man with the booming voice called her name. Jenny stepped forward and shaded her eyes with her hand. Yes.
You sang Dont Cry for Me, Argentina in the first audition, is that correct?
Yes. Her voice quivered with the strain of answering his questions.
Did you bring your sheet music with you?
Yes. She looked to the man sitting at the piano.
What will you be singing this time?
With her cold and her throat feeling the way it did, Jenny knew her voice wouldnt carry any musical number with more than a two-octave range. Normally her voice was able to scale four octaves, something that had amazed and thrilled her music teachers in Custer, Montana. But such versatility wasnt uncommon here in New York.
Ill be singing Rainy Days and Mondays,  Jenny told the faceless voice. The first piano notes broke into the silence. She was forced to clear her throat, which had tightened up on her to where she could barely speak, let alone sing.
The piano player looked at her when she didnt come in on cue and played the introduction a second time. She opened her mouth and nothing came out. She tried again, and what sound did escape wasnt anywhere close to being considered musical.
Miserable, Jenny raised her hand and stopped the piano player. There was no use continuing. Not now. She couldnt do it.
Im sorry, she mumbled, wavered, and reached out blindly, afraid she was about to collapse.
Michelle gripped her hand. Jennys sick ... she shouldnt even be here.
Her roommate placed her arm around Jennys shoulders, and she slumped against Michelle, needing her friends support to remain upright.
She has a fever of a hundred and two, Michelle informed the casting director.
And you are? the loud voice boomed.
Michelle stiffened. Her roommate. I realize this is none of my business, but Im afraid Jennys sick. If you want to hear her sing, our agent can supply you with any number of tapes. Come on, Jenny, Michelle said, steering her off the stage. Im taking you home.
No, Jenny protested. It was bad enough that her best chance of ever appearing on Broadway was being taken away, but she wouldnt allow her own misfortune to ruin Michelles chances, too. You stay here.
But
I insist. Dont argue with me. This is your chance.
But, Jenny
Michelle Jordan! the voice shouted.
Michelle wavered and looked over her shoulder.
Are you staying or going? the voice asked.
Staying, Jenny answered for her. Shed meant to shout. Shed put all her effort into making herself heard, but what remained of her voice was shockingly weak.
Oh, Jenny, are you sure youll be all right?
Of course. All I need is a little rest. She managed to put on a bright smile, which depleted what little energy remained. Ill get a taxi, she promised a second time. A real luxury, considering her finances.
You promise?
Yes. Now break a leg, kid, she said in her best Humphrey Bogart imitation. Youll have to make it for both of us. She felt like weeping but managed to keep the tears at bay until she was outside the theater.
It was snowing. Wouldnt you know it? Every man, woman, and child in New York would be looking for a cab. Jenny stepped halfway out into the street and raised her arm in an effort to hail a taxi. The cold snow was a welcome coolant as it drifted onto her upturned face.

Youre going to help her, arent you? Goodness asked Mercy. That poor girls sick and miserable.
Of course Im going to help her. Mercy was indignant that her friend would believe otherwise. Its just that this is the worst time imaginable for her to find an empty taxi.
Well, do something.
What would you suggest? Mercy snapped, impatient herself.
Stop traffic.
Mercy grinned. Why hadnt she thought of that herself? It wouldnt be so difficult to create a distraction. Not with Goodness there to help her. Naturally it would work; she just hoped Gabriel didnt find out about this.
Come on, she said, sharing a gleeful smile with her friend.
Where are we going?
Times Square, Mercy answered.
Yes, but ...
Even Goodness looked surprised, and Mercy grinned sheepishly. Dont worry, Gabriel will never hear of it. Well, at least she hoped that was the case.

Look. Someone near Jenny stretched out an arm and pointed toward the huge electronic billboard above Times Square. What in heavens name is going on?
Jenny looked up and did a double take. The sign that had flashed a huge Santa drinking a bottle of Coca-Cola only minutes earlier had disappeared. In its stead stood a picture of her own face, with the words flashing Jenny needs a cab. Help Jenny.
She blinked, certain she was seeing things. Her fever must be higher than she realized for her to hallucinate this way. Obviously shed stepped over the edge of reality.
Cars slowed to a crawl. Any number of people paused and pointed to the sign.
Are you Jenny? a bag lady who was nearly bent in half asked her. She wore a ragged wool coat. A worn shopping bag was draped over her forearm.
Yes, Jenny whispered.
Im here to help you, the old woman proclaimed. Ill get you that cab, now dont you worry none.
Im sick, Jenny whispered.
Yes, I know, dear, now dont you fret. Youll be home soon enough. Holding Jenny by the arm, the old woman marched her out into the middle of midtown traffic and stood in front of the first yellow cab she spied.
The cabdriver stuck his head out the window and shouted angrily. Apparently he hadnt been in the country long, because his accent was so thick that it was nearly impossible to understand him.
This is Jenny. The bag lady opened the cab door and stuck her head inside. Shes sick and needs to get home.
I dont care if shes the president, the man inside the cab muttered, clenching his briefcase as if he expected the woman to snatch it from him. Im not giving up this cab. Driver, he instructed, do something.
The driver twisted around and placed his hands over his ears. Only been in America one day.
The passenger said something under his breath.
Undeterred, the bag lady tried a second time. That sign up there says this woman needs help. Now get out.
The dignified-looking businessman bristled. What sign?
Look at the billboard! she shouted. Now do as I say.
Jenny remained in a daze, barely able to decipher what was happening around her. Horns blared. People stopped and stared. Traffic snarled even worse than it normally did. No one moved.
Youre Jenny? the businessman leaned halfway out of the cab to ask her.
Yes, she whispered.
Oh, all right, he muttered, and with that he hopped out of the cab.
Jenny turned to thank the bag lady whod helped her, but shed disappeared into the crowd. Safe and warm, Jenny climbed inside the cab, laid back her head, and closed her eyes. The next thing she knew the driver pulled up in front of her apartment complex. She couldnt remember giving him her address.
Howd you know where I lived? she asked as she pulled out her limited cash reserve to pay him.
The old lady told me.
But ... Jenny shook her head, hoping to clear her thoughts. Shed never seen that woman before in her life. How could the bag lady have known where she lived?

Good job, Goodness said, standing under the blinking lights of Times Square.
Mercy was downright proud of herself. Shed pulled off the role of the bag lady with the finesse that had done all angels proud. Jenny never even guessed she was dealing with an angel, she bragged to her friend.
I see you had a bit of a problem with that businessman, though. He didnt seem willing to give up his seat.
A nonbeliever, Mercy explained. He prefers to take care of matters himself. Poor fellow. He doesnt know what hes missing.
It looks to me like hes missing his cab. Goodness chuckled and pointed to the street below. The man stood with his shoulders hunched against the cold, his arm raised in a desperate effort to hail a taxi.

Joshua was about to give up hope that Hannah would show. Hed waited a half hour and was tempted to admit hed been wrong. His face stung with cold and his fingers were numb. He might have left if it hadnt been for the skaters gliding over the ice and all the bright lights on the fifty-foot-tall Christmas tree. Both held his attention and kept him from dwelling on his disappointment.
This was the first day of Hanukkah, the Jewish holiday that observed the freedom of religion. These few days in December celebrated the hope for peace. This night Jewish families around the world lit the first candle of the menorah, commemorating the Jewish recapture of the Temple in Jerusalem from the Hellenic Syrians in 164 b.c. It was the holiday honoring the miracle of the oil.
If Joshua remembered his history correctly, only one small jar of undefiled oil could be found for the Temples menorah. It should have been enough for only one day, but the jar lasted eight days, until a fresh supply could be delivered.
Joshua had never considered himself a particularly religious man. He preferred to think of himself as a man of faith. In the darkness of winter, his people celebrated the return of light.
That was the way Joshua thought of Hannah. She was a ray of sunshine in a world that had been filled with dark ambition. A ray of hope. He hated placing Hannah in the awkward position of having to choose between him and Carl, but he was confident she didnt love the other man. He would have staked his career on that.
This evening would be telling. What hed said to Hannah earlier about her not being able to stay away was true. If she truly cared for him the way he suspected, shed find a means of meeting him.
Rockefeller Center was big, but somehow, some way, theyd connect. Joshua checked his watch one last time: 8:40.
His disappointment was keen. Hed wanted her to come. Willed her there. But it was apparent now that hed been wrong. He had no option but to release her; shed made her choice. Hed found her too late.
Hed turned away from the ice-skating rink when out of the blue he saw her. In that moment, it was as though the weight of the world lifted from his shoulders and his heart sang.
Hannah saw him, too, but her beautiful blue eyes were devoid of emotion. She hurried toward him, and he held out his hands to greet her.
By the time shed gripped his fingers with her own, she was breathless and barely able to talk. Her eyes were bright with questions. With doubts and confusion. Without speaking, she told him everything he needed to know. She hadnt wanted to come. Had decided to stay away ... and found she couldnt.
You were right, she said with a sadness that was nearly his undoing. I had to come. A hundred times I told myself the best thing for both of us was if I stayed away. What have you done to me, Joshua? What have you done?
It was difficult not to pull her into his arms and comfort her. It was what he wanted. His heart was full, spilling over. The fact that his love brought her unhappiness wasnt lost on him. In time hed make up for the unpleasantness hed caused her. If only she would be patient, hed prove to her shed made the right decision.
I think we should talk this out, she suggested. She seemed to harbor the hope that they could sit across from each other and reason away their mutual attraction. It wasnt as simple as that, but shed need to reach that realization herself.
All right. He sought nothing more than to be with her. It wouldnt have mattered what they did. In many ways, he felt he was already fully acquainted with Hannah. He knew he loved her. He knew he wanted her to be his wife and the mother of his children.
How or when hed come to realize all this, he couldnt answer. He was a man who dealt with facts, who argued cases. A man who generally was uncomfortable defining feelings. But when it came to Hannah Morganstern, Joshua found he was an expert on identifying his emotions.
Come on, he said, tucking her hand in the crook of his arm. Ill buy us a cup of hot chocolate.
A fragile, tentative smile touched her mouth. Her beautiful, kissable mouth.
Im beginning to think were both a little nuts, she said.
I couldnt agree with you more, but its a good kind of crazy. Being with you makes me happy, Hannah. Youre beautiful and generous and loving.
She lowered her head, uneasy with compliments.
Joshua found a table, and after she was seated, he walked over to the refreshment booth and bought two steaming cups of hot chocolate.
When he returned, she glanced up at him shyly. The most amazing thing happened this evening.
Oh? He sipped from the edge of the paper cup, the steam wafting upward.
When I told you I couldnt meet you, it wasnt because I didnt want to. Carl had asked me to attend the candle-lighting ceremony with him. Its the first day of Hanukkah, she told him unnecessarily.
I know.
I knew there wasnt any way I could possibly break our date. Then at the last minute Carl phoned. He came down with the flu.
That explained why Hannah was late. Shed been at the synagogue with her family and then rushed from there to Rockefeller Center.
When I left in such a hurry, Im sure my parents thought I was going to see Carl ... instead Im meeting another man. Sadness coated her words. It was clear she hated deceiving those she loved.
Im sure that given time, your family will learn to like me as much as they do Carl, he assured her gently. He regretted bringing the other man into the conversation. It seemed they spent half their precious time together discussing the rabbis son.
Hannahs gaze drifted to the ice skaters and then back to him. I hardly know you myself.
Ask me anything you like, he invited her.
Youve never married?
No. Ive been waiting for you, Hannah Morganstern. By the way the color drained from her face, Joshua realized hed said the wrong thing. He didnt mean to rush Hannah. Because he was confident didnt mean he had to get cocky.
Im engaged to Carl, she whispered. Doesnt that matter to you?
It matters a great deal. He wasnt going to lie. When shed told him, hed been both frustrated and angry. Later hed realized just how fortunate it was that theyd met before the wedding. I figure I found you just in time.
He didnt ask her if she felt the same way. Didnt bombard her with questions. That wasnt necessary. He already knew. She felt everything he did, only for her, it wasnt so simple. Tied up with her feelings for him was a lifetime of adhering to her parents wishes.
Ill go to your family, Joshua offered, and explain.
Explain what? she asked miserably. Theres nothing to tell them, Joshua. I havent changed my mind about anything.

Nine
Hannah had no intention of staying with Joshua. Her only purpose in meeting him was to explain once and for all that a relationship between them was impossible. It was too late for them. She was engaged to Carl now, and theyd soon be planning their wedding.
That had been the reason shed decided to meet Joshua: so hed know. Yet the moment shed found him, her heart had been filled with a yearning, a wonder, that she couldnt reason away.
She couldnt look at him, she feared, and not reveal what was in her heart, so she focused her attention on the ice skaters. As a child shed loved it when her mother had taken her to this very rink. Although shed struggled to remain upright, Hannah had enjoyed the simple pleasure of gliding freely over the ice. When shed tired, shed sat and watched others, admiring the skillful athletes as theyd leapt and spun their way across the rink. In her childs mind, shed dreamed about someday being as graceful and talented.
Come, Joshua said, and reached for her hand. Hed been silent since shed announced that she fully intended to marry Carl. Hannah hoped he would accept her decision graciously and let matters drop between them. It was as difficult for him as it was for her, but she couldnt tell him that. She willed him to leave because she hadnt the strength to do it herself.
Where are we going?
His eyes revealed nothing, then he smiled in that gentle way of his. Ice skating.
But, Joshua, its been years. Im not sure I even remember how.
Its been years for me, too.
I cant, she insisted. Really. I should get back before Mama asks questions. I cant lie.
Joshua stiffened. Surely he understood that shed intended never to see him again. Surely he realized that shed come this evening only because Carl had canceled at the last moment. Even now that surprised her.
Im not asking you to lie, Joshua explained, his hand clasping hers firmly. All I want is for you to skate with me.
Hannah gazed longingly toward the ice. She was tempted. Oh, heaven, she was tempted. It wasnt so much to ask, she decided, not when she wanted this so badly herself.
All right, she agreed. But for only a short time.
Agreed.
Joshua left her briefly, after checking her shoe size, and returned a few moments later with two pairs of ice skates. After lacing up his own, he knelt in front of her to be sure her skates were tied properly.
You may well regret this, she said, linking her arm through his. Her legs wobbled when they stepped onto the ice, but Joshuas grip about her waist was firm.
Her first few steps were tentative and awkward. If not for Joshua, she was sure she would have fallen. I cant believe I let you talk me into doing this, she said, concentrating on staying on her feet.
Youre doing just fine.
He was being kind, and she said so. Their first whirl around the rink was marked with her clumsy attempts to remain upright. Even with Joshua holding on to her, Hannahs arms flailed out in front of her a number of times in an effort to maintain her balance.
Before long she found a certain rhythm and glided over the smooth surface. Gaining confidence, she relaxed her grip on Joshuas arm, and he gradually released her. Skating backward in front of her, he smiled and praised her skill.
Do you think anyone from the Ice Capades is watching? she joked.
Joshua chuckled.
Thinking herself clever, Hannah decided to speed past Joshua. Unfortunately, in her effort to impress him, she lost her footing. Her feet slipped out from under her so quickly that she didnt have time to react. Arms flailing, she landed butt first on the hard, cold ice.
Joshua nearly fell on top of her, trying to keep her from losing her balance. By some minor miracle he managed to remain on his feet. Smiling broadly, he skated wide circles around her.
You think this is funny, do you? she asked, her dignity sadly bruised.
Hilarious.
Hannahs rear end was getting wet and cold from the ice. She stretched out her arm, silently seeking his assistance. Joshua ignored her hand. Bracing his fists against his hips, his skates perpendicular to each other, he circled her.
Joshua, she pleaded.
Chuckling, he helped her to her feet.
They skated for more than an hour, and then afterward, because she was unbelievably hungry, they ate huge hot dogs. Mustard dripped onto Hannahs forearm, and Joshua dabbed it away with a paper napkin, teasing her about being so messy.
Time seemed to drift away from them. Never could Hannah remember enjoying anyones company more. It had been like this from the first moment theyd met.
I have to go, she said sadly when she noticed the time. It seemed she was always saying that to him.
He hailed a taxi and sat next to her on the seat. When they arrived outside her parents deli, Joshua paid the driver and climbed out of the cab with her.
On the abandoned sidewalk, Hannah stood with her head bowed, her heart thudding hard and heavy with dread against her chest.
I cant see you again. The best way was to say it flat out and leave no room for speculation. It was difficult, but necessary.
Hannah ...
Im engaged to another man, she said as firmly as she could manage, afraid her voice would catch with emotion. I cant string you along. It isnt fair to you. Please, Joshua, try to understand.
Cant do this to me? he repeated, and it seemed to her that he found encouragement in her words.
She didnt want to argue with him. She glanced longingly toward the door, wanting this last farewell to be over as quickly as possible. Not wanting to dwell on the unpleasantness of hurting him.
Good-bye, Joshua.
He caught her by the shoulders and brought her into his arms. She didnt resist him. Hadnt the strength. His kiss was more potent than Irish whiskey. More heady than fine wine.
Dont you think you should be more worried about hurting Carl than me? he asked, his lips against her hair. You said you couldnt do this to me.
I cant do this to Carl, either, she said in a rush, her words dwindling to a mere whisper. She squeezed her eyes closed, realizing her mistake. Her first thought had been of Joshua, not Carl.
You dont love him, Joshua insisted.
Hannah backed away from him. Please accept this, Joshua. I cant ... I wont see you again.
He opened his mouth, then snapped it closed as if biting off an argument. It isnt in me to make you miserable, Hannah. Nor can I force you into a relationship against your will. Im here night or day, whenever you need me. He pulled a business card from his wallet, then wrote something on the back of it. Heres my address and phone number. You can reach me twenty-four hours a day. Call me when youre ready.
I wont call.
Take the card anyway.
He opened her hand and planted it in her palm, then folded her fingers over it.
Having done that, he kissed her again until her knees felt as though they would give out on her. She could barely manage to breathe when he lifted his head from hers. He reached up and tenderly slid his index finger down the side of her face.
Call me, he whispered, his voice low and seductive.
Pride demanded that she tell him she wouldnt be making that phone call, but his kiss had stolen her breath away. By the time her lungs had recovered, hed turned and walked away.
Realizing she was still clutching the business card, she buried it in her coat pocket and as silently as possible unlocked the door to the deli.
Soundlessly she made her way up the backstairs to the family apartment. All the lights were out, and Hannah sighed with relief. Her parents had gone to bed.
Guided by what little moonlight was available, she crept toward her bedroom. Just when she thought she was home free, her father spoke from behind her.
Hannah?
She swallowed tightly.
For the love of heaven, where have you been? Dont you have a clue what time it is? Your mother and I have been half sick worrying about you.

All through the afternoon, Brynn noticed that Suzie Changs eyes avoided hers. Although the teenager didnt contribute freely to class discussions, if Brynn called upon her, Suzie would willingly share her thoughts.
Often Brynn had been grateful for Suzies contributions. Her other students tended to get sidetracked easily. Brynn had come to rely on Suzie to subtly steer the topic back on course. Reading the teenager generally wasnt difficult, and Brynn knew from the way Suzies eyes brightened when she had something she wanted to say.
It wasnt that way this afternoon, however. Suzie seemed to be trapped in a world all her own. Knowing the girl was miserable nearly broke Brynns heart.
Brynn blamed herself. It had been wrong for her to look into scholarship possibilities without first discussing the idea with Suzie. Her intentions had been good, but in the process shed somehow managed to hurt the girl.
The bell rang, and Brynn stopped Suzie on her way out the door.
Could I speak to you for a few moments? Brynn asked, hoping her voice didnt betray her worries.
I cant this afternoon, Miss Cassidy, the teenager mumbled, her head bowed.
Itll only take a moment, Suzie.
The room emptied, and Suzie stood just inside the classroom, her gaze fastened to the floor. She trembled like a frightened rabbit.
Its about our discussion from the other day, Brynn began. Remember I asked you if you had any plans for higher education.
I cant go to college, Miss Cassidy.
Suzie, if I said something to offend you, then Im truly sorry.
The teenager bit into her lower lip, then slowly lifted her head. She offered Brynn a weak smile. You didnt offend me. I was honored that you felt I ... She paused, and her dark eyes filled with tears.
Suzie?
The girl turned away and would have rushed from the room, Brynn suspected, if she hadnt stopped her.
Can you tell me whats wrong? Brynn asked gently.
Suzie trembled as she ran the back of her hand under each eye. I dont want to trouble you with my problems.
Its no trouble, Brynn assured her gently. Ill do anything I can to help you.
You cant help me, Miss Cassidy. No one can.
I can try. With her arm around Suzies shoulder, Brynn steered the girl to her desk and handed her a tissue.
Suzies thin shoulders shook with repressed sobs. Oh, Miss Cassidy, I dont know what Im going to do.
The first thing is to dry your eyes. There isnt anything so terrible that you cant tell me.
Suzie looked up and studied Brynn as though to gauge her sincerity. Brynn met her look without flinching. She hadnt a clue why Suzie was so unhappy. Naturally she had her suspicions, but she hoped it wasnt as traumatic as the girl seemed to feel.
I cant go to college, Suzie announced on a wobbly, emotion-laden breath. I dont even know if Ill be able to graduate from high school.
Brynn waited, giving the teenager the freedom to continue without the interruption of questions.
Suzie stiffened and looked away, as if meeting her eyes were more than she could manage. I havent told anyone. The words were low and filled with trepidation.
Brynn gripped the younger girls hand, and Suzie squeezed her fingers hard enough to cause her pain.
Im pregnant, she whispered.
The news shouldnt have surprised Brynn, but it did. Suzie didnt have a boyfriend at schoolin fact, to the best of Brynns knowledge, the only social activity Suzie had ever participated in had been the dance at the church.
How far along are you?
Almost six months.
Six months! Brynn couldnt disguise her surprise.
I realize I barely show.... Ive lost weight because I didnt want anyone to know. I was afraid if my father found out, hed make me have an abortion, she said in a rush, her voice barely audible. I dont want to kill my baby.
Of course you dont.
I want this baby, Miss Cassidy. I love him so much already. When I first realized I was pregnant, I thought I would die; then later, after I felt him move ... it was such an incredible feeling.
The father? Brynn didnt want to pry, but surely the babys father should be helping Suzie with some of these difficult decisions. Surely he could stand with her when she told her parents.
I ... havent told him either. This was admitted with the same downcast look Suzie had worn earlier.
But, Suzie ...
Hes got his own troubles, and I dont want to burden him with my news.
Burden him? Brynn couldnt keep the irritation out of her voice. Suzie, this child is his responsibility, too. You shouldnt have to deal with this alone. There are decisions to be made. For one thing, you wont be able to hide your condition much longer.
I know, but I dont want him to worry about me. He cant help, and ... and if I told him about the baby, it would only make him feel worse. He loves me. I know he does. She buried her face in her hands, and her shoulders shook with silent tears.
Brynn patted Suzies back gently.
I dont know what Im going to do, Miss Cassidy. I dont know what will happen when my family learns about the baby.
Youre going to have to tell your parents.
Suzie wiped the tears from her face. Im afraid my father will make me leave home, and I wont have anywhere to live. I want to finish high school, and what you said about me getting a scholarship for college, well, I never thought I could do anything like that.
But of course you can. Your grades are excellent, but more than that, you have a clear desire to learn. Did you take the SAT test?
Suzie shook her head.
But before you consider college, youre going to need to make a decision about your future, yours and the babys. I cant help you with that, but I do know that the school counselor can help guide you. Will you talk with her?
Suzie hesitated, then nodded. I like Mrs. Christian.
Brynn walked down to the office with her and waited while Suzie made an appointment with the school counselor for the next day.
If theres anything more I can do, let me know, okay? Brynn asked when Suzie had finished.
The teenage girl started to cry once more, and Brynn hugged her close and whispered reassurances. Everything will work out, Suzie, dont worry.
The teenager sniffled and left the school. Silently Brynn returned to her classroom and sagged onto her seat, her heart heavy with Suzies news.
Suzie was pregnant. The girl was little more than a child herself. So tiny and delicate, it was a wonder shed been able to disguise her pregnancy this long. The fact that shed gone without prenatal care hadnt escaped Brynns notice, either.
The desire to wrap her arms around the teenage girl and protect her from the harsh reality of being a single mother nearly overwhelmed Brynn. More than one of her students was a mother. Brynn had been surprised to learn Yolanda had a two-year-old son. The boy stayed with Yolandas mother while Yolanda attended classes to complete her education. Denzil had bragged to her about fathering three children. Hed done so in an effort to shock her. The fact that he was sexually active didnt astound her, but his attitude toward the number of children hed fathered with different girls did.
By the time Brynn left the school, she felt as though she carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. It seemed only natural to seek out Father Grady, but the parish priest was gone for the afternoon.
Mrs. Houghton, his housekeeper, seemed to sense Brynn had come for more than their usual friendly chat. Do you want me to try to reach Father Grady? the kindly older woman asked.
Brynn stood outside on the rectory steps. She shook her head. No, that wont be necessary. Ill talk to him later.
Are you all right, dearie?
Im fine, Brynn assured her, but she wasnt.
Blindly she made her way toward the subway station, but as she neared the entrance, she hesitated. The thought of returning to an empty apartment held no appeal. With no clear destination in mind, she turned back, her shoulders slumped and her steps slow.
Roberto. She needed him. Although she trusted Roberto, she couldnt tell him about Suzies condition. That would be breaking the teenagers confidence.
By the time she arrived at his garage, her eyes burned with unshed tears. The tight knot in her throat made it difficult to speak.
Roberto was bent over the hood of a car, and when she walked into the shop, he glanced up. He knew immediately that something wasnt right.
Brynn, whats wrong?
Nothing, she lied. Would you mind holding me for a little bit? she asked, and her voice cracked.
He didnt hesitate, didnt question her, but simply did as she requested. Gently he laid aside his tools and brought her into the wide circle of his arms. Im greasy, be advised with regret, his touch light and tender.
Brynn burrowed deeper, needing his comfort. I dont care.
His arms came fully around her then as he brought her against his solid strength. The hurt and fear, the disappointment and doubt, produced a hard, bitter tightness in her chest, and she clung to him.
Brynn, Roberto whispered against her hair, stroking it away from her face, can you tell me whats upset you so?
She shook her head. The dream shed had for her students seemed to have crumbled at her feet. Suzie had shown such promise, and Brynn had wanted so much for her. An unplanned pregnancy wasnt the end of the world, but Brynn didnt want Suzie caught in the trap like so many others. The teenager loved and wanted this child, enough to hide her pregnancy past the time she could have had an abortion. Enough to stand up against the wrath of her family.
As best she could, Brynn swallowed the emotion. It was just one of those days, she said, drawing in a quick, stabilizing breath.
It was more than that. He led her to a stool next to his work bench, and when she was seated, he paced the floor in front of her. Its this neighborhood, isnt it? His voice was gruff with anger. You dont belong here. I told you that before and you refused to listen. He continued muttering in Spanish, knowing full well she couldnt understand him.
Roberto. She reached out to him, but he ignored her. Stop talking like that. Nothing you say is going to convince me to leave.
He rubbed his hands clean on a pink flannel rag and then burrowed his splayed fingers through his thick hair, leaving deep indentations.
If Id known this would upset you, I wouldnt have come. Brynn felt bad about that now. Im fine, really. Theres nothing you can do except ...
Yes? he prodded.
She hesitated and held her arms open to him. Could you please kiss me? The world felt right when Roberto held her and loved her.
The beginnings of a smile edged up the fringes of his mouth. He walked over to where she sat and captured her upturned face between his callused hands. Her own hands found the curves of his shoulders. He felt stable and strong, and she needed that security. Someone to hold on to while trapped in one of lifes storms.
Roberto. His name came as soft as mist across a Scottish moor.
He closed his eyes as if struggling against her. She felt his breath against her face and touched his lip with the pad of her index finger. His mouth was moist and warm.
The simple action was all he seemed to need. Roberto bent forward and claimed her mouth in a long, leisurely kiss. Since the night of the dance, hed kissed her any number of times. Each episode taught her something more about this man. Hed enthralled her from the first. He felt strongly about his younger brother, accepting responsibility for Emilios welfare. At the same time, Roberto cared deeply about the neighborhood, confronting injustice, prejudice, and hatred. Every time she met Father Grady, the priest sang Robertos praises. Already she was half in love with him herself.
She knew a part of Roberto wanted her to quit teaching at Manhattan High. He didnt want her to deal with the squalor and misery he confronted day in and day out. Hed rather she returned to teaching at the prim and proper girls school. Yet at the same time, he was learning, just as she was, that they had a good deal in common. The barriers that had kept them apart seemed to shrink a bit more each time they were together.
I hope youll listen to reason this time. His lips were less than an inch from her own.
Brynn linked her arms around his neck and bounced her mouth against his. Just being with you makes everything seem better. Thank you.
His face tightened. Brynn, for the love of
She stopped him cold with a long, lingering kiss. When she regained her voice, she whispered, Im falling in love with you, Roberto Alcantara.
He reacted as if shed pulled out a gun and fired at him. He groaned and rubbed his hand down his face. Thats the last thing I wanted to happen. He edged away from her until his backside collided with the side panel of the car on which hed been working moments earlier.
Roberto ...
Dont you know not to tell a man that? he asked gruffly. Then he whirled around and walked out of the shop as if shed deeply insulted him.

* * *

The fever felt as if it were about to take the top of her head off as Jenny struggled out of her clothes and into her pajamas. The fever or the bitter pill of disappointment, she didnt know which.
Someone knocked against the apartment door.
Michelle, can you get that? Jenny called out before she remembered that her roommate was still at the audition with John Peterman and company.
Struggling out of bed, Jenny reached for her robe. Shed never looked or felt worse in her life and was in no mood to deal with a door-to-door salesman.
The knock came a second time, sharp and impatient.
Grumbling under her breath, she tied the sash loosely around her waist and then unlatched the door lock without checking the peephole first. Whatever youre selling, Im not interested.
The words left her mouth and collided with a solid male chest. Jenny frowned and slowly looked up.
If she hadnt been feeling lightheaded earlier, she felt that way now.
Trey, she whispered, so shocked there was no sound in her voice. He stood bold as life directly in front of her, all six feet four of him. With his Stetson adding another couple of inches to his height, he made for an intimidating figure.
Jenny?
Another woman might have fainted then and there, but by this point Jenny had endured so much that another shock barely fazed her.
Ive been sick.
It certainly looks that way. Can I come inside?
She nodded, too numb and too confused to find an excuse to refuse him. Not that she wanted to. He was a hundred times more compelling than she remembered. A hundred times more devastating. He didnt seem to realize that in New York a man this good-looking generally appeared in fashion magazines.
You should be in bed, he commented as he walked inside the tiny apartment. He glanced around, and his gaze narrowed as if to say he found it impossible to understand why anyone would choose to live in a place this small. A man who rode the wide-open range would have to feel claustrophobic in New York City, Jenny reflected.
Despite her shock at seeing him, she maintained her wits. It would serve him right if she told him that she had been in bed and had been forced out of it in order to answer the door.
What are you doing in town? she asked. She gestured toward the sofa.
Gingerly he sat on the edge of the thin cushion and held on to his cowboy hat with both hands between his parted knees. What am I doing in New York? he said. What else would someone like me come to this crazy town for? I came to see you, Jenny Lancaster.
See me? Now that the excitement had started to fade, Jenny felt the dread take over.
You wrote and said you wouldnt be home for Christmas, remember? I thought about that, then decided if you wouldnt come to me, there was no option but for me to visit you.
She lowered her head, and her hair, stringy and damp from the snow, fell forward. I cant go home, Trey, I just cant. The dread was replaced with a heavy sadness.
He didnt say anything for several tense minutes. Your parents were terribly disappointed.
The pain tightened her chest. I know.
I was disappointed, too.
Slowly she lifted her gaze until their eyes met and held. A woman could get lost and wish never to be found in eyes that dark. Funny shed never noticed that when she was growing up.
He continued to hold her look for several breathless moments. Ive missed you, Jenny.
She bit into her lower lip.
Trey had never been a man for a lot of words. And the years apart hadnt improved the situation, Jenny noticed. He rotated the brim of his hat in his hands.
When you first left Custer I thought youd come to New York and get this singing and dancing craze out of your head. Then when you became so successful, it seemed this was your destiny. But I always counted on seeing you again.
She couldnt bear to listen to him repeat the lies shed fed her family and friends. She bent forward and buried her face in her hands.
Jenny? he asked gently, his tender concern ripping at her heart. Do you need a doctor?
She shook her head. What she really needed was a priest. Someone who could absolve her from the guilt. Someone who could help her repair the damage shed done to herself and her family. Someone to show her what to do now.
He moved from the sofa and knelt on the thin carpet in front of her. As though he werent sure what to do next, he placed his hand on her back. Jenny, are you crying?
She didnt answer him, although there wasnt any use trying to hide it.
He hesitated, stood, and then reached down and gathered her in his arms. Then, as if she weighed next to nothing, he lifted her from the chair. One moment she was doubled over, struggling to hold back the giant sobs, and the next thing she knew she was being carried.
Trey, what are you doing? she demanded.
Taking care of you. He sat back down on the sofa, holding her in his lap, his arms around her. I never was much good at dealing with a womans tears. Holding you just seemed the right thing to do.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. For the longest time he did nothing but hold her, and she did nothing but let him.
Tell me about Charlie, she begged, wanting to hear everything he could say about her family. Her brother wrote the least of anyone.
Trey chuckled and rubbed his hand down the side of his lean jaw. I suspect youve heard hes sweet on Mary Lou.
Jennys head came off Treys chest. Mary Lou Perkins? That seemed impossible. First off, Mary Lou had been engaged to Brad Harper when Jenny had left Custer. Then shed learned that the wedding had been called off at the last minuteword was Brad had gotten cold feet. But Jenny had assumed that the two would eventually marry.
Trey grinned. Charlies right sweet on her, and after three years Brad may just have lost his girl.
It serves Brad Harper right. He had his chance, she said, siding with her brother.
She felt Treys smile against her hair. Last I heard, Charlie and Mary Lou had decided to announce their engagement to the community on Christmas Day.
Oh. She wouldnt be there. One more nail in the coffin of her guilt.
If you wont be there for Christmas, Jenny, will you come home for your brothers wedding?

Ten
Arent you going to help Jenny? Goodness asked. The three crowded in the corner of the tiny living room, hovering over Trey and Jenny.
Mercy knew that her friend had a soft heart. In fact, it was Goodnesss tender nature plus her weakness for electronic devices that had been the main source of their difficulties over the last couple of years. To be fair, Goodness had matured. Either that or shed become accustomed to such things as fifty-two-inch television screens. Not once in the past two Christmases had Goodness appeared on pay-per-view. Mercy was downright proud of her friends progress.
Mercy, Goodness snapped. I asked you something important.
The warm thoughts Mercy had entertained about her fellow prayer ambassador vanished. I brought Trey LaRue to New York, didnt I?
You did that? Shirley joined them and sounded downright impressed. Mercys evaluation of the third angel rose by several degrees.
Mercy was proud of her efforts and grateful someone had noticed. She tucked her thumbs in her waistband and rocked back on her heels. Youre darn tootin I brought Trey LaRue to town.
Shes been hanging around cowpokes again, Goodness whispered out of the side of her mouth. Shes starting to talk just like one of em. The next thing we know shell be wearing a buckle as big as a chastity belt and bragging about her rat-chasing dog.
Not me, Mercy contradicted. Ive been too busy arranging Treys trip east. I found he isnt as susceptible to suggestion as some humans are, especially schoolteachers and young Jewish womenif you catch my drift. I had my work cut out just getting him to New York. Mustve taken three or four people suggesting he visit Jenny for him to take the hint.
Goodness frowned and apparently didnt take Mercys words kindly.
But look what happened to Jenny while you were away, Shirley commented glumly. Shes sick. My goodness, the poor girl looks wretched.
That couldnt be helped. There was only so much one angel could do, and no one seemed to appreciate Mercys efforts on this assignment. Least of all her two best friends.
Has Jenny told him the truth yet? Goodness asked, making herself comfortable. She usually preferred to dangle from light fixtures, but not in these tight quarters. She isnt going to be able to keep it from him, is she?
Not now, Mercy agreed. It wouldnt do any good to remind her companions that she could lead a horse to water, but she couldnt make him saddle himself. She paused. Was that how the saying went? Shed heard some smart-talkin fellow in Montana say something along those lines, and at the time it had made perfect sense.
Whats this I heard about Jennys brother? Shirley asked impatiently. Is he really getting engaged?
Thats another thing. Mercy flung herself across the back of a living room chair and supported her head with the palm of her hand. Does anyone here understand what I had to go through to arrange this last-minute romance between Charles Lancaster and Mary Lou Perkins?
You did that? Shirley asked, amazed.
Well, not entirely, Mercy admitted with some reluctance, although shed be willing to accept a certain amount of credit. All Charlie really needed was a little encouragement.
And you supplied that?
Mercy shrugged. Some.
Goodness beamed her approval. Good thinking.
What about poor Jenny? Shirley asked, studying the down-and-out actress.
I dont know, Mercy admitted. What she does and doesnt tell Trey is up to her.
How long will Trey be in town?
Mercy didnt have the answer to that, either. Your guess is as good as mine.
Hell be here for the party, wont he? Goodness wanted to know.
It took Mercy a moment to remember the Christmas potluck Jenny and Michelle were holding. She hadnt a clue where the two young actresses intended on putting everyone, but they seemed to think they could manage.
I dont know what Treys plans are, she muttered. It seemed her friends insisted upon asking her questions she couldnt answer. All I know is that however long he stays, itll be long enough.
Her words were followed by a short silence. Are you saying you know something we dont? Shirley inquired.
Mercys smug smile was all the answer she intended to give them.

* * *

Brynn stood in front of her class, and her gaze rested on Suzie Changs empty desk in the middle of the room. It seemed as if the space were magnified until it appeared to crowd everyone against the walls.
The lessons that day involved the history of the Second World War, and although Brynn was prepared to discuss the Battle of the Bulge, her mind was elsewhere.
All she could think about was Suzie.
This afternoon, Brynn said, forcing her attention back to the history lesson, we are going to be talking about ... sex. The word raced out of her mouth before she could stop herself.
Modesto cheered and sat up straighter on his desk chair. Hey, Miss Cassidy, I bet I could teach you more than you could teach me. He laughed, thinking himself downright comical.
Not if my brother hears about it, Emilio warned, his eyes narrowing. Miss Cassidy is his woman.
Im no ones woman, Brynn corrected evenly.
No one owns another person, Pearl Washington insisted righteously. To the best of Brynns knowledge, this was the first time the young black girl had freely contributed to any class discussion. A womans body is her own, just the way a boys body is his own.
Youre right, sister.
I didnt plan this talk, Brynn admitted, wondering if she was treading over a minefield. But this is a subject thats been on my mind lately, and Id like us to have an open discussion. Ill share my thoughts with you, and you can share your feelings with me.
Ask me anything you want, Emilio said proudly.
In other words, youve got all the answers?
Sure. Emilio glanced over his shoulder to be sure he had his friends support. Most of us in class do. Come on, Miss Cassidy, we been around, you know?
Yeah, I do know. But making love isnt like sampling chocolates. Its much more involved than that. There are responsibilities and consequences.
Yeah. Im raising one of those consequences right now, Yolanda volunteered, and it aint easy.
Hey, sister, dont look at me. I wasnt the one who got you knocked up. Denzil raised both hands in a gesture of innocence.
Shut up, Denzil.
I want to talk about accountability, Brynn said, ignoring the two. About being mature enough to accept the responsibility for our actions.
Are you going to lecture us, Teach?
No. Im going to share with you at least fifteen different ways of making love without doing it.
Several of the boys glanced back and forth at each other as if shed suddenly turned into someone they didnt know.
I have the feeling Im not going to like any of those ways, Malcolm muttered.
Pearl stood at her desk and pointed a finger at her chest. Why is it a guy thinks that because he spends a little money on me, it entitles him to a piece of my soul?
Some girls expect it, Malcolm argued just as heatedly. Half the time the girls are all over me asking for it.
Yeah, Emilio agreed. There are plenty of times Id prefer not to ... you know, and if I dont ask, then the girls feelings are all hurt. It aint just us men, you know.
Men? Yolanda challenged. I notice you call us girls, but youre men. Why doesnt the man who fathered Jason kindly step forward? With her fists braced against her sides, Yolanda looked around slowly, then released a sigh of disgust. Thats what I thought.
Enough, Brynn said, putting an end to the argument before it escalated into a shouting match. She could talk until she was ready to faint, and she doubted it would do any good, but she had to try. One thing was clear: her students were as opinionated over the topic as she was herself.
While she had their attention, she spoke from the heart, listing the reasons she felt it was important to wait to experiment with lovemaking until after marriage. The intensity of her feelings must have reached her class because there was a respectful silence when she finished.
Miss Cassidy, Emilio said when shed concluded, I dont mean to be discourteous or anything, but youre living in a dream world if you believe a mans going to wait to make love to his woman.
Dont be so sure, Emilio. Teenagers across the world are making pledges to keep themselves pure.
There aint nothing pure in this neighborhood, someone else told her. Not even the water.
But it has to start somewhere, Brynn said, and walked over to the chipped blackboard. In large bold-faced letters, she wrote i will abstain from premarital sex. I say let it start with me. She signed her name below.
Holding up the piece of chalk, she asked, Anyone else?
A tense moment passed before Yolanda slid from her seat. With her head held high, the teenager walked up and took the chalk out of Brynns hand. She wrote her name in huge letters below Brynns.
Turning around to face the class, she said, A boy will tell you anything you want to hear until you give him what he wants. Then hell forget he ever knew you. A man will make you his wife first.
Pearl Washington walked up and wrote her name down next. She turned around and glared at Denzil. Then, one hand braced against her hip, Pearl returned to her desk. On the walk back to the end of the row, she continued to glare at Denzil.
I think you just got cut off, man, Malcolm whispered loudly enough for everyone in the class to hear.
You keep saying how much you love me, Pearl mocked him. If you love me so much, prove it.
I aint adding my name to that list, Denzil shouted angrily.
Pearl blinked several times but said nothing.
Dont you worry, Pearl, Denzil is nothing but a boy, Yolanda said to comfort the other girl.
When she least expected it, Mike rose from his seat and walked forward. With a bit of flare he added his name to the list, the first boy in class to do so.
Oh sure, Mike, Malcolm called sarcastically. You should be so lucky to get laid.
Why the others chose to taunt Mike, Brynn didnt understand. She liked Mike and appreciated the courage it had taken for him to step forward. The desire to defend him was strong, but she realized that would only make matters worse for the youth.
Mikes more of a man than you are, Pearl insisted. A hell of a lot more than Denzil will ever be.
Emilio sat on his seat, frowning. After a couple of moments he stood and trekked the short distance to the blackboard.
Emilio, are you nuts, man? Modesto asked.
Emilio turned around and faced his friends. You know what? Miss Cassidy is right. My brothers always talking about what it means to be responsible, and really thats all Miss Cassidy is saying, too. I aint no priest, but the way I figure it, women will respect me if they know I aint after nothing.
After Emilio listed his name, three other male students added their promise.
When theyd finished, Brynn took the chalk, stepped to the blackboard, and wrote i will practice safe sex. Then she drew a line beneath the words and waited.
Next were going to discuss protection, she said.
Later that afternoon, after her class had been dismissed for the day, Brynn felt good about the spontaneous way in which theyd discussed the subject of sex. It might have gone differently had she planned it. Instead the students themselves had contributed their feelings and insights, and because shed listened to them, they had been willing to hear her out as well.
She studied each name on the two lists and prayed that their talk would make a difference in how they chose to live their lives.
Miss Cassidy.
Brynn looked up to find Suzie standing in the doorway. Am I disturbing you?
No, of course not. Brynn stood. How did your session go with Mrs. Christian?
All right, I guess. She made an appointment for me at the health clinic.
Thats good, isnt it?
My babys healthy, Suzie said with a shy smile. I feel him kick and move all the time now. The teenagers gaze moved to the blackboard. I ... I heard about what you did. Its all over the school. You talked about birth control and responsible sex because of me, didnt you?
Brynn couldnt very well deny it. I didnt break your confidence, Suzie. No one knows what you told me. She felt it was important to assure Suzie of that.
I knew you wouldnt say anything. Suzie studied the list. Emilio signed his name. Although it was a statement, the surprise in her voice made it a question.
Several of the young men in class did.
Do you think I could add my name? she asked, diverting her eyes from Brynns. Or is it too late?
Id be proud if you did, Brynn told her.
Suzie walked up and added her name to the first list. Im going to talk to my mother this afternoon. Shell be angry with me and shell want me to tell her who the father is, but I wont.
You cant protect him forever, Brynn said gently.
I know. Mom will be angry, but not nearly as much as my father.
Do you want me to come with you? Brynn asked.
Suzie considered the offer, then shook her head. No, but thank you for volunteering.
No sooner had Suzie left than Brynn was asked to come down to the office. It was the first time shed received such a request. She wasnt left to wonder at the reason.
She knew.
If what Suzie said was true, then Mr. Whalen, the principal, had heard what shed done.
Allen Whalen invited her into his office, and after shed stepped inside, he closed the door firmly. The sound of it clicking alerted her to the fact that this wasnt going to be a friendly chat.
Brynn respected Allen Whalen. He was a big, no-nonsense man and a fair disciplinarian. He had zero tolerance for drugs and alcohol and didnt shy away from confrontations, often suspending students for fighting or other disruptions. Emilio could testify to that.
Sit down, Brynn, Allen said, and motioned for her to take a seat on the other side of his desk. More than likely this was the identical chair in which Emilio had sat the first day of the quarter following his fight with Grover.
First off, Allen said, leaning forward, I want you to know Ive heard good things about you. The kids seem to feel kindly toward you, and thats a plus. I understand youve made a point to visit the families of your students.
Yes, I
While your efforts are commendable, Allen interrupted, I dont feel its a good idea for you to become emotionally involved with your students.
Brynn opened her mouth to explain her purpose, but once again she wasnt allowed to continue.
Youre young, and idealistic. Perhaps a little too young to deal with the reality of our situation here.
Mr. Whalen, if youd allow me to explain ...
He gestured with his hand, indicating that he wasnt finished. I had my doubts about this government project. As far as Im concerned, the less the federal government has to do with the school system, the better. I would never have agreed to this program had I realized ... He paused and leaned forward, pressing his elbows against the top of his cluttered desk. I dont want to get sidetracked here. The reason I asked you to my office has nothing to do with the government or why youre at Manhattan High.
Yes? She sat straight, her back as stiff as a steel pipe.
I received a phone call from two mothers this afternoon, he prefaced, his face growing tight with displeasure. Dont tell me, Miss Cassidy, that you actually discussed birth control methods with your history class.
Rather than hedge, Brynn answered him in a straightforward manner. As a matter of fact, I did.
Allen Whalens eyes drifted closed momentarily. In your history class, Miss Cassidy?
It needed to be said.
And you felt you were the most qualified to advise a classroom full of young adults? I take it youve attended the course the district requires before teaching sex education?
No. The discussion was spontaneous. I certainly didnt plan to spend the afternoon discussing the benefits of condoms.
In other words, you just decided this needed to be said and you were the one to do it?
If you put it like that, then I have no option but to say yes. She had no defense and didnt think it would help her case if she had.
Mr. Whalen mulled over her answers. In case you werent aware of it, this community is largely Catholic.
Brynn folded her hands on her lap. Im Catholic myself.
That is no excuse, he said, then stopped abruptly. Youre Catholic?
My name is Cassidy and my hair is red. She didnt mean to be sarcastic, but it should have been obvious.
Then you must be aware of the churchs standing on the subject of birth control.
I am indeed. She didnt blink. Didnt hesitate. Didnt doubt for an instant that he was furious with her.
Im afraid, Miss Cassidy, that in light of this admission, I have no choice but to place a letter of reprimand in your file.
Brynn swallowed tightly. Ive always known you to be a fair man. If you feel I deserve to be formally reprimanded for my actions, then I can only assume that youre right.
Youre a history and English teacher. In the future please remember that. He reached for a piece of paper and started writing.
Brynn sat where she was for several awkward moments.
After a while, he glanced up. You may leave.
When Brynn walked out of the office, she found three secretaries staring at her. Their looks were sympathetic as she whisked past. The whispers started the moment she was around the corner.

Hello, Hannah.
Hannah looked up from the novel she was reading. Carl, she said, unable to hide her surprise and her guilt. No one had told her he planned to stop by that evening. How are you feeling? She hadnt spoken to him since his bout with the flu.
Her fianc claimed the recliner across from her. Much better, thank you.
Hannah noted that her heart didnt leap with excitement the way it did whenever she saw Joshua. Nor did she experience a twinge of pleasure just because they were together. Carl was Carl. Dedicated, devout, determined. But soon, if everything went as their mothers had planned, he would be more than an unexpected guest. He would be her husband.
My mother stopped by to talk to your mother, he explained with a wry grin. Theyre discussing the details of the wedding.
Hannahs gaze fell back to the pages of the novel. My mother wants to hire a wedding coordinator, she told him. I heard her discussing the matter over the phone.
She must have been talking to my mother, because I heard her say something about it as well.
Hannah smiled and looked away. She noticed with regret that they didnt seem to have a whole lot to say to each other.
I thought we should set a time to shop for the engagement ring, Carl suggested, almost as if he were grateful for something to discuss.
That would be nice.
How about after the first of the year? he proposed.
Great. The further into the future, the better.
A disjointed silence followed, as though there were nothing left to say.
Carl. Her fathers face lit up with delight as he walked into the living room. Ruth didnt mention that you were coming.
Carl stood, and the two men exchanged hearty handshakes. David Morganstern slapped Hannahs fianc across the back. By heaven, its good to see you. Youve been making yourself scarce around here these last few days.
Ive been busy.
Ruth said youd come down with a twenty-four-hour bug the other night.
Im fine now.
Hannah watched as the transformation took place in the man who was to be her husband. It seemed his face brightened as soon as her father walked into the room.
Soon the two entered into a lively debate over some political matter that didnt interest Hannah. While they chatted, Hannah went into the kitchen, brewed tea, and served that along with freshly baked sugar cookies.
Helen Rabinsky and Hannahs mother were engrossed in their own conversation and seemed unaware of her. As she expected, the women were debating the pros and cons of hiring a wedding coordinator.
After a time, Hannah escaped to her bedroom and closed the door. She doubted anyone would miss her.
Sitting on top of her bed, her knees bent, Hannah closed her eyes and remembered her time with Joshua at the skating rink. It wasnt right that she should be thinking of another man. Not with Carl on the other side of the door.
Joshuas business card remained inside her coat pocket, but she didnt need to retrieve it to find the number. In the last two days, shed stared at that card so often, shed committed the phone number to memory.
When she feared she might be missed, Hannah returned to the living room. Carl glanced her way and smiled affectionately.
Carl, she said, would you like to go for a walk, or something?
A walk? he repeated with a decided lack of enthusiasm. Its below freezing.
How about if we went ice skating? she suggested next.
Tonight?
I dont know whats gotten into that daughter of mine, her father commented, and chuckled. Two nights ago she walks over to Rockefeller Center and goes ice skating.
I dont skate, Carl said with a touch of sadness.
I could teach you, she offered expectantly. It isnt difficult, and we could have a lot of fun.
Carl looked from Hannah to her father and then back again. Would you mind if we stayed here?
Remember your young mans just getting over the flu, Hannah, her father reminded her gently. Carl will take you ice skating another time.
She tried to hide her disappointment and must have succeeded. An hour later, Helen Rabinsky announced it was time to leave. Carl stood, and for no reason Hannah could fathom the two of them were left alone. It didnt take her long to realize her family was giving her and Carl a private moment together.
Thanks for stopping by, Carl, she said.
It was good to see you again, Hannah. He leaned forward and pressed his mouth to hers. It was a gentle kiss, but passionless. It was unfair to compare the kisses shed shared with Joshua to the quick exchanges between her and Carl. But Hannah couldnt help it.
Joshuas kisses made her feel as though shed been hit by a freight train. The emotional impact left her reeling long afterward. She knew that her kisses affected him in the same magical, exciting way. Joshua made her feel like a sensual, alluring woman.
Ill be calling you soon, Carl promised.
Hannah nodded, afraid to speak for fear of what shed say. Intuitively she realized she couldnt marry Carl. He didnt love her any more than she loved him. He was as miserable about this arrangement as she was, but they were both caught in the trap. One of them had to break it.
As soon as Hannah and her parents were alone, her mother turned and clapped her hands gleefully. Helen agrees that we should hire a wedding coordinator. I couldnt be more pleased. She suggested we talk to Wanda Thorndike. She hugged Hannah briefly. Ill make an appointment with Wanda first thing in the morning.
Hannah wanted to object, to explain that she felt they were rushing matters, but she wasnt given the opportunity.
I overheard Carl suggest that he and Hannah pick out engagement rings right after the first of the year.
David, her mother said, sighing, you cant imagine everything we need to consider for a large wedding.
We havent picked a date yet, Hannah reminded her family, dread weighing down her words.
My dear, youre as naive as Helen and I were about all this. The wedding coordinator will be the one to choose that. Shell know whats available and when. Personally Id prefer a June wedding. You should be a traditional June bride, but thats barely six months away, and I dont know if we could manage it in that time. One thing Im going to have to insist we do right away, and thats shop for your dress.
Mom
Helen was telling me it sometimes takes as long as six months to have a dress made and delivered.
But
I know, darling, were throwing a lot at you. Just be patient. Humming happily to herself, Ruth Morganstern returned to the kitchen and the wedding brochures shed pored over only moments earlier.
Hannahs father chuckled. I dont know when Ive last seen your mother so pleased. This wedding has given her a renewed lease on life.
Hannah couldnt find it in her heart to disappoint them. Not then. Later, she promised herself. Shed sit down with them both and explain that she didnt love Carl.
By noon the following day the deli was filled with the usual lunch crowd. Her father hand-sliced pastrami into thick wedges while Hannah and her mother assembled the sandwiches.
Runners delivered orders as fast as they could be packed.
The routine was one in which Hannah had worked most of her life. She never questioned that she would help in the deli; it was assumed.
Around two, the heavy lunch crowd had begun to thin out. Her mother returned to the kitchen to make up a fresh batch of potato salad. Her father was preoccupied with ordering supplies when Hannah looked up to discover Joshua standing on the other side of the counter.
Joshua, she whispered in a low rush of air. Just seeing him again had knocked the breath out of her. She couldnt disguise her delight. Her heart went into second gear as she glanced over her shoulder to be sure no one was paying them any mind. What are you doing here? she asked in a whisper.
I came for lunch.
Of course. She reached for a pencil, prepared to take his order.
He read the printed menu that hung on the wall behind her. Ill have a pastrami on rye and a cup of coffee.
She wrote down his order with trembling hands.
Are you going to make it for me yourself?
She nodded, avoiding eye contact. She wouldnt be able to hide how pleased she was to see him again if she looked up.
You didnt phone, he whispered just loudly enough for her to hear.
Potato is the soup of the day, she said.
Hannah, look at me.
I cant.
Why cant you?
She closed her eyes and braced herself You shouldnt have come here.
You dont want my business?
He was making this difficult.
Youve thought about contacting me, havent you?
Again she didnt answer. Would you care for a bowl of soup with your sandwich?
He didnt respond for a number of seconds, and then, The only thing I want is you, Hannah.
If youll take a number, Ill have your lunch delivered.
Will you bring it? he asked.
Her nod was nearly imperceptible. She saw the tension leave him and couldnt keep from glancing up and offering him a quick smile. It took only a moment or more to finish compiling his sandwich. She carried that and a cup of coffee to his table and was pleased to note he sat as far away from the counter as possible.
Thank you, Hannah, he said when she placed the plate on the table. Would you care to join me?
I cant. Her hands folded over the back of the chair across from him. She glanced over her shoulder, fearing her father would notice the two of them together.
Is that your father? Joshua asked, looking around her.
Yes. Moms in the kitchen.
He doesnt look like the kind of man who would force his daughter into a loveless marriage.
Joshua, please.
He picked up the sandwich, and once again, Hannah looked back to make sure no one was watching her. I sometimes walk by the pond in Central Park, she whispered.
Joshua went still. When?
I was thinking of taking a stroll there this afternoon.
In an hour?
Yes.
Joshuas handsome face broke into a wide grin. Ive always favored walking as an excellent form of exercise.

Eleven
Are you sure youre up to this? Trey asked Jenny for the third time since theyd boarded the ferry headed for Ellis Island.
I wouldnt have suggested sight-seeing if I wasnt feeling better, Jenny insisted. They stood and watched as the New York skyline began to fade into the distance. I want you to visit Ellis Island, she continued. Its an emotional experience, at least it was for me the first time I made the trip. I found my great-grandfathers name there.
Your great-grandfather? How?
I looked his name up on the computer. It showed me the year he arrived from Germany and his age at the time. I felt as though Id stumbled upon an open treasure chest, only this one contained a part of my heritage.
This was your mothers grandfather?
Jenny answered him with a quick nod. Can you imagine packing everything you own in this world in a single suitcase? she asked, awed by the raw courage and grit her great-grandfather had shown when he was little more than a teenager. He came to America with nothing but his dreams and the desire for a new life.
Is that so unusual? Trey asked.
Of course it is, she answered, feeling slightly offended that Trey didnt recognize the fortitude and faith her great-grandfather had demonstrated. He didnt have an easy life here, you know. First off he didnt speak the language, and although he was well educated he was forced into taking a menial job. For years he and my great-grandmother struggled to make a decent life for themselves and their family. I cant tell you how much I admire them for that.
What you did, leaving Montana for a chance on Broadway, wasnt all that different.
Me? Jenny didnt see the correlation. Of course there was the obvious one, but her great-grandfather had come to America friendless and without the loving support of his family.
As I recall, when you left Custer you went with a solitary suitcase. You came to the Big Apple without a job, with little money, and with only your dreams to feed you.
True, she admitted reluctantly, not wanting Trey to continue comparing her with her great-grandfather. Not when she fell so far short.
Trey placed his hand on her shoulder. It hasnt been easy for you, has it? he asked gently.
He didnt know the half of it. Jenny turned her face into the wind and let the breeze off the Hudson River buffet against her. The thickness in her throat tightened to painful proportions, and she knew she dared not try to talk. Trey had tried to paint her as some kind of heroine, seeking her way in a new world. In retrospect, Jenny wasnt sure shed done the right thing to leave Montana. She wasnt sure she was cut out for life in the city. In three years shed never managed to feel at home in New York.
Jenny didnt see herself as any modern-day champion.
Jenny?
Treys face had knit into a worried frown.
Im doing great, she told him quickly, perhaps too quickly, because she felt his close scrutiny. Smiling, just then, would have been impossible.
Trey moved closer to her by the railing. The wind hit against him. His arm came loosely around her shoulder, and, needing him, she pressed her head against his solid strength.
Theres something you should know, she said after dragging a deep breath through her lungs. She closed her eyes, unwilling to continue the pretense any longer. Im not what you think.
Jenny
No, please, let me finish. This was so much more difficult than shed thought it would be. Trey had come all this way from Montana thinking she was a Broadway star. Either she told him herself or hed learn it on his own.
A dozen times since his arrival shed been tempted to blurt out the truth. It had held her prisoner, tortured her, and she couldnt stand the pressure any longer.
Im not starring in an Off Broadway production of South Pacific. Im a waitress, a singing waitress. I lied, and I want you to know how very sorry I am. Her voice pitched and heaved with emotion as she hurried to get all the words out at once for fear shed break down and weep.
The pressure of his arm around her increased slightly. I realized that right away.
He knew and hadnt said anything.
The first place I headed when I arrived in New York was the theater. I wanted to see you perform.
Jennys throat constricted. Im so ashamed to have lied, but I had to tell my family something. Its been so long, and ... youve got to believe I gave it my best shot, and now, well, now it seems Im buried neck deep in the lie. Mom and Dad are so proud of me, and theyve told everyone, and
Come home, Jenny.
No. Her response was automatic and sharp.
The brightness in Treys eyes dimmed, and she turned away, unable to meet his gaze. It sounded as if he were eager to hear shed failed. Glad of it. Well, she wasnt through yet. She was close, so close she could taste it. If John Peterman didnt want her for this play, then there were other parts, other producers. She wouldnt give up. She refused to turn her back when she was this close. Not even Trey could convince her to do that.
I may not be the star I led everyone to believe, she told him stiffly, but Im an actress, and a damn talented one. I realize Ive probably disappointed you, and Im sorry for that, but Im not willing to throw in the towel yet.
Trey didnt answer her, and the air between them was strained and tight.
I shouldnt have asked it of you, he said as the boat neared Ellis Island.
It was as close to an apology as she was likely to get from Trey. She stepped away from him, letting the breeze whip against her face while she mulled over his words.
Trey stepped back, and she noticed the attention he generated with his tall, lean good looks. He was obviously out of place with his scuffed snakeskin boots and weather-beaten Stetson, yet hed dressed in the height of fashion. Jenny knew more than one male model who would have given anything for that rawboned, natural look.
Jenny, Trey said, coming to stand next to her, I dont really think what you did was so terrible. Sure you stretched the truth a bit, but under the circumstances thats understandable.
But hardly commendable.
Trey didnt agree or disagree. What you did was burden yourself. It seems to me these New York theater people must have holes in their heads not to realize how talented you are.
This was what Jenny loved about home the most. When it came to talent, the good folks in Custer believed none had more than Jenny Lancaster.
Those responsible for the theater in New York meet lots of talented men and women with big dreams and a lot of ambition. That was a difficult lesson for me to learn, and I suspect that in some ways I havent completely accepted it. Im good, Trey, and I know it, but there are any number of equally talented people just waiting for their big break, the same way as me.
The ferry docked and the passengers disembarked onto the island. Most everyone headed directly for the Ellis Island Immigration Museum.
Theres something I want you to see first, Jenny said, leading Trey toward the flagpole. A brass railing-like border ran the circumference of the island. Embossed in the polished metal were hundreds of names, a small representation of the thousands of immigrants whod made their way to America between 1892 and 1924. The first time Jenny had visited, shed walked around the entire island until shed found what she was looking for.
My great-grandfathers name is listed here, she told him excitedly. Her fingertips ran over the raised letters. Anton Hellmich. A sense of pride moved her to know that this mans blood ran through her veins. You cant imagine how excited I was when I discovered this. I called my mother that very night. She doubted that Trey understood what a rare thing it was for her to phone home. With her finances so tight, Jenny usually wrote letters and made up excuses why it was difficult for her to phone. Talking to her mother, hearing her fathers gruff, loving voice, increased her longing for home and her family all the more.
Anton Hellmich, Trey repeated slowly. He placed his callused hand on top of hers and laced their fingers together. His skin was rough and hard from the long hours he worked his spread. Her skin was silky smooth.
Once again Trey ran the thick pad of his index finger over the raised letters with her. His touch, so warm and caring, so gentle, was like a healing balm to her wounded pride.
Barely realizing what she was doing, Jenny turned so that she faced him. Before another moment passed, before her heart could beat again, Treys arms were clasped around her as he brought her into his arms.
She watched the transformation come over him, as if he were caught in some winless battle. The muscles in his jaw clenched. Then, moving slowly, as though hypnotized, he lowered his mouth to hers. His lips over hers, moist and warm, were as gentle as lambskin.
Jenny closed her eyes as tightly as she could, seeking to blot out the world and everything around them. Everything but Trey. For the first time since her arrival she didnt want to be subjected to the sights and sounds of the New York waterfront. She didnt want to hear the buzz of aircraft overhead. For this one moment she wanted to be as far away from other people as she could get.
Treys kiss was everything Jenny had ever dreamed, everything she could have anticipated. She trembled in his arms, needing his strength, his comfort, more than shed ever needed anything in her life. She clung to him, not wanting him to let her go. Not ever.
Snuggling closer, she stood on the tips of her toes. Her breasts nuzzled his chest, and a new brand of sensations shot through her. Trey recognized the difference, and his tongue went in search of hers as the kiss deepened. By the time they broke apart, Jennys knees were weak. It didnt seem possible that anything would feel this wonderful.
Jenny had been kissed before, plenty of times. She wasnt a novice to the art, but with Trey all things became new. Everything changed.
When they broke apart, Jenny could feel the heat invade her cheeks. She was actually blushing, which was something that hadnt happened since she was in junior high.
Trey? she whispered, pleading with him to explain what was happening to them. She was at a loss to understand, let alone explain.
He answered by kissing her again, this time deeper and with such intensity that her senses spun out of control. When hed finished, he held her close and whispered, but his words were low and filled with emotion.
Ive waited so long to hold you like this.
Oh, Trey, Ive missed you so much.
His fingers were in her hair, and he angled her head to kiss her again and again. His breathing was harsh with excitement and need.
Come home, Jenny, he pleaded. For the love of God, give up on this madness and come back home where you belong.

The pond near Cherry Hill fountain had always been one of Hannahs favorite spots in Central Park. Because she was late, she feared Joshua would have given up waiting for her. Barely taking time to look both ways, she raced across Fifty-ninth Street. Her heart pounded in her throat as she approached the pond. Excitement filled her when she spied Joshua standing along the edge of the water, feeding the goldfish. Hannah half ran to meet him.
Im so sorry Im late, she said breathlessly when she joined him. It took me much longer to get away than I thought it would.
Joshua glanced at her and enfolded her with a warm smile of welcome. I was feeding the fish, and didnt notice. He handed her a fistful of stale bread crumbs for her to toss onto the waters still surface. Huge goldfish, some marked with black-and-white blotches, battled for the crumbs, stirring up the waters smooth surface.
This has always been one of my favorite places, Joshua said.
Mine too, she admitted. It didnt surprise her that Joshua felt the same way about this place as she did. They appreciated many of the same things.
They stood side by side, content without speaking, satisfied simply to be in each others company.
Theres something I need to tell you, Hannah said once shed regained her breath and her equilibrium. Being with Joshua always seemed to pull her off center.
Joshua hesitated, and his eyes sparkled. Am I going to need to sit down to hear it?
No. At least I dont think so. She thought about what she had to say and realized he was the last person she should be telling instead of the first. Ive decided not to marry Carl.
I know. Joshua tossed the last of the bread crumbs into the pond with a flourish.
Of all the reactions Hannah had expected from Joshua, shed never anticipated this calm acceptance. She frowned. What did you say?
I said, I knew you werent going to marry Carl.
And how could you be so confident of that? she asked. She hadnt realized it herself until the night before. Once shed admitted that she couldnt go through with the wedding, shed felt as though a great weight had been lifted from her heart. It hadnt been an easy decision, and she didnt want him to think shed made it flippantly.
I knew you werent going to be marrying Carl, my sweet, adorable Hannah, for one simple reason. I fully intend for you to marry me.
Hannah blinked back her surprise.
And yes, if youre wondering, thats a marriage proposal.
But Im already engaged to Carl, she argued, saying the first thing that came to mind. Hed shocked her so thoroughly that she wasnt sure how to respond. The second thing that came to mind was that she would have liked nothing better than to be Joshuas wife. She was forced into biting her lips to keep from blurting it out.
He warmed her with another of his bone-melting smiles. You see, I realized something the very first time we met.
You did?
Its simple, really, he said with the calm reasoning of an attorney. I realized you and I were meant to be together.
But what about Carl? she pleaded. I was already engaged to him when we met. While that wasnt technically true, for all intents and purposes she might as well have been betrothed to the rabbis son. In the eyes of both families, all that needed to be decided was if they should or shouldnt hire a wedding coordinator.
I suppose I sound overly confident of myself, Joshua said, and reached inside his coat pocket for his leather gloves. I wasnt sure about any of this until recently, though. The night at Rockefeller Center, to be exact. I gave you my business card, remember?
I didnt phone you.
True, he was gracious enough to agree, and Ill admit I havent been sleeping well because I fully expected you to contact me long before now. He reached for her hand and raised it to his lips, brushing her knuckles with his mouth. You and I share something very special, Hannah. I dont know what I would have done had you decided to go ahead with the wedding with Carl.
Hannah dipped her head. I havent said anything to him yet. It was far easier to tell Joshua of her decision first. She realized she was behaving like a coward, but she sincerely felt that Carl would experience a deep sense of relief once she asked him to release her from the engagement. She was certain he shared her feelings. They were both eager to please their parents and had allowed themselves unwittingly to be drawn into a self-made trap.
Joshua loved her. The knowledge shook her because she didnt understand how anyone as powerful and intelligent as Joshua could care for someone like her. Ive treated you terribly. Ive ignored you, pretended I didnt know you, and shunned you.
When something is of high value, then its worth a few inconveniences, Joshua said, and gently bounced his mouth over hers. In many ways Im grateful to you.
Me?
Id almost given up thinking about God until I met you. My life was full and busy, but I felt an aching loneliness. I prayed, but I felt as if my prayers floated away to nothingness. Until the morning of the Thanksgiving Day parade, I was convinced God didnt listen to prayers any longer.
But He does, Hannah insisted.
I know. He sent you into my life. Joshua ran his finger down the side of her face. Youll be talking to Carl soon?
She nodded. It wasnt a task she relished, but it was one she couldnt delay. To wait for the right moment would only make it more difficult. I thought Id discuss it with him first, and then the two of us could explain it to our parents together.
Joshuas gaze narrowed briefly, and she knew he wasnt keen on this part of her plan.
Carl and I need to present a united front, she explained. Otherwise Im afraid theyll manipulate us individually to change our minds.
Joshua considered her words, then asked, Could they change your mind, Hannah?
His question fell into a weighted silence. Hannah considered her answer for several thought-provoking moments. Carls a good man, and hell make some woman an excellent husband, but that woman wont be me, she admitted, then added, Nothings going to change the way I feel about you, Joshua. Nothing.
Youll tell him soon, then?
She nodded. The sooner the better. She didnt relish this task, but she couldnt put it off, either.
Do you want me to come with you? Joshua volunteered.
No. That would only make matters worse, Hannah realized. Her news would be difficult enough for Carl without adding the complication of her feelings for another man.
Joshua looked at his watch. I have to get back to the office.
It was easy to forget that Joshua was an important man. If she ever doubted his feelings for her, all shed need to do was remember the time he took out of his busy schedule to be with her.
One thing before you go? she asked, reaching out and gripping hold of his forearm.
Anything.
She felt foolish asking this of him. Would you mind very much if we kissed again?
The warm light that invaded his eyes was all the answer she needed. Joshua wrapped her in his embrace and drugged her with a number of long, slow kisses.
Is that enough? he asked.
She couldnt manage anything more than a slight groan.
Joshua closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. Unfortunately I feel the same way myself. I promise you the day will come when we wont stop with the kissing, Hannah. Frankly the sooner that day arrives, the better.
Joshua left her to return to his office. The warm glow of his kisses carried Hannah all the way to Carls apartment building. He should be home, seeing that school had been out for several hours. Hannah had been to his place only twice. Carl was an orderly man who kept his quarters meticulously clean. Hannah had never known anyone more gifted in the area of organization than Carl Rabinsky.
Not once on the long walk did Hannah doubt that she was doing the right thing. Only when she arrived at his building did she hesitate. Gathering her courage about her, she squared her shoulders and pressed the doorbell.
Carls low voice came over the intercom. Who is it?
Hannah, she said, standing on her tiptoes and speaking directly into the intercom to make sure he could hear her.
Hannah? My goodness, what are you doing here?
I came to talk to you. Could I come up?
Of course.
A couple of seconds later a buzzer rang and the lock on the front door released, allowing Hannah inside the building. More nervous now than ever, she took the elevator up to Carls apartment. By the time she arrived outside his door, she was convinced her heart was ready to pound straight through her chest.
This is a surprise, Carl said, leading her into the living room. The area was nothing like she remembered. Books and papers littered the table. Unopened mail was scattered across the coffee table. This wasnt like Carl. Not once in all the time shed known him had he displayed any signs of sloppiness.
Is something wrong? Hannah asked, watching him.
I dont think theres any reason to try to hide it any longer, he said, sinking into the chair and covering his face with both hands. I should have told you sooner.
Hannah didnt know what to think. Told me what? she asked gently. Shed never seen Carl like this.
He raised his head slowly, his look tortured. But then I havent found the courage to tell anyone.
Hannah waited, knowing Carl would get around to explaining himself eventually. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair and refused to look at her.
I lost my position with the school, he blurted out, then squeezed his eyes closed. I couldnt take it any longer, and I got into an argument with Hiram. Since hes the headmaster and Im nothing more than a teacher, he fired me. Carl raised his head and squared his shoulders. If you want to call off the wedding, Ill understand. I dont deserve a good woman like you.

Brynn didnt tell anyone about the formal reprimand that Mr. Whalen had placed inside her employment file. There didnt seem to be any need. Everything hed said was true. She had stepped over the line, but try as she would, Brynn couldnt make herself regret the impromptu discussion with her students. If shed managed to reach just one member of her class, then it had been worth the trouble.
Her thoughts were heavy as she made her way home that afternoon. Dinner was simmering on top of the stove when her telephone rang. She reached for it automatically.
Hello, she said.
Its Roberto.
Brynn closed her eyes. The sound of his voice, with his soft, lilting accent, was like sinking neck deep into a warm bath in the dead of winter.
I heard youre teaching sex education now, too. He sounded more amused than angry with her, which was a welcome change.
I really stuck my foot in it this time, she told him.
Although he probably wouldnt come out and say as much, I think Emilio was grateful to have someone talk frankly about the subject. Girls can be pushy these days. As pushy as the boys.
Im sure thats true. After some of the things shed seen in the last few weeks, there was little that would shock Brynn anymore.
Although if you cared to get pushy with me, we might strike some agreement.
Brynn laughed. Keep dreaming, Roberto.
The mechanics chuckle slowly faded. You do that to me, he said, his voice low and serious. You make me want to dream, but then I wonder ... Never mind. I didnt call you to talk about dreams.
Oh?
I want to take you to dinner. His voice grew so serious that she wondered if there were some hidden significance behind his request.
When? she asked, not that it would have mattered to her. He could have suggested next June and she would have agreed readily.
Is Friday all right?
Yes, she said automatically.
Ill pick you up at six-thirty. How formal he sounded, as though he were unsure of himself.
Thatll be fine, she assured him. Ill look forward to it.
Me, too. The smile was back in his voice, as if to say now that the awkward part was over, he could go back to being himself. Thank you, Brynn.
Whatever for? She was thinking his appreciation had something to do with what Emilio had told him about the class discussion.
For agreeing to be my date.
Not until Brynn was talking to Father Grady did she realize the significance in Robertos having asked her to dinner.
She met the parish priest after school, responding to a message hed sent asking to speak with her. She guessed correctly that Father Grady had heard about her talk with her students.
Are you going to lecture me about the error of my ways? she asked him directly. They were walking toward the rectory. Father Gradys hands were folded behind his back, and he avoided meeting her eyes.
No, he said slowly, although I fully suspect you know the churchs teachings in the area of birth control.
I know, I just dont happen to agree.
Father Grady released a long, slow breath. Im not going to say anything about this again, but Im disappointed in you, Brynn. I dont know what happened for you to decide it was your duty to discuss this particular subject with your class, but my guess is this entire matter was spontaneous on your part.
I strongly suspect one of the girls is pregnant. Well, it isnt the first time, nor will it be the last. These things happen.
Birth control
Promotes promiscuity, the priest argued.
It would be better if we agreed to disagree, Brynn said evenly. She didnt want to get into a verbal battle with the one person she considered her friend.
They didnt speak for several moments.
Roberto asked me to dinner Friday night, Brynn said, wanting to break the tension between them.
Father Gradys face broke into a wide smile. He asked you, did he?
Is there something important about this dinner date I dont know about?
Not particularly, the priest informed her, only that its probably the first time Robertos dated in the last four or five years.
Youre joking!
No. While he was in high school, he held down two part-time jobs in an effort to earn enough money for his mother to travel to the United States. Every penny went toward that goal. There wasnt time for dances or anything else a normal teenager enjoys.
But hes an excellent dancer. Being in his arms had seemed as right as rain, as the saying went.
He comes by that talent naturally, Father Grady explained. But hes never taken the opportunity to indulge in the small pleasures in life. He sacrificed his youth for the sake of his mother.
Ive never met her.
You wont, Father Grady said sadly. She died before Roberto had saved enough money.
Brynn felt Robertos frustration. Im so sorry.
Roberto blamed himself.
But how could he? She hated the thought of his taking on blame when hed already sacrificed so much.
He seemed to think that hed failed her.
Surely he understands that isnt the case.
Intellectually I believe he does, but not emotionally, although I have hope now that hes taken such a keen interest in you. Father looked well pleased with himself, as though he were the one responsible for bringing her and Roberto together. Youve been good for that young man, but by the same token Roberto has been good for you.
I like him so much, she whispered. Sometimes it frightened her how deeply she cared for Roberto. He wasnt like any other man shed dated. He was deep and intense, intelligent and generous.
I suspected you did.
Not at first, she countered. Roberto and I rubbed each other the wrong way in the beginning. Even now they were at different poles on the subject of education. No matter how hard she tried to persuade him, Roberto refused to listen to reason.
Then it dawned on her why Roberto was so opinionated. Father Grady had unraveled the mystery. Roberto had stayed in school and worked, saving his money in order to bring his mother from Mexico. Shed died before he had been able to save enough. If Roberto had been working full-time instead of trying to balance two part-time jobs with his schooling, he might have been able to help his mother. Because hed stayed in high school the help he had to offer her had come too late.

Twelve
Emilio followed Roberto around the apartment like a lost puppy, offering him unwanted advice for his dinner date with Brynn.
First youve got to tell Miss Cassidy how beautiful she looks, Emilio instructed, then gently take her in your arms and kiss her, but only lightly. Remember that, because its important. You dont want to start something too soon. Women dont like a guy coming on heavy first thing. They want to be wined and dined first.
Emilio, Roberto warned under his breath as he tightened the knot in his tie in front of the bedroom mirror, I can handle this on my own.
But I know Miss Cassidy better than you do. Dont forget I see her practically every day.
But his brother didnt view her as Roberto did. To Emilio she was his teacher, the first one hed liked well enough to mention. To Roberto Brynn was a warm, desirable, generous woman. When they kissed the electricity between them was as powerful as Hoover Dam.
In the beginning hed attempted to ignore the way the air sizzled every time they were together. A touch of antagonism had proved to be his best defense, and it had worked until Father Grady had manipulated them into chaperoning the dance at the church hall. Before he knew what had happened to him, Brynn was in his arms and life hadnt been the same since.
Where are you taking her to dinner? Emilio asked, following him across the bedroom.
Roberto splashed on a touch of spice-scented cologne. I havent decided yet. Actually he had, but he didnt want his brother dropping by unexpectedly with some phony excuse.
Emilio frowned with disapproval. Thats not going to work, bro, youve got to plan these things well in advance. You should have made reservations for a classy woman like Miss Cassidy.
If the truth be known, Emilios attitude toward Brynn amused him. The way Emilio talked about her, one would think his brother was half in love with her himself.
You cant just walk into any restaurant and expect a decent table to be waiting for you.
Roberto reached for his wool jacket. He hoped Brynn didnt recognize it as the same one from the dance. He owned only one suit, and he wasnt about to go out and purchase another just because of a silly dinner date.
How do you know all this? Roberto probed.
I been around, Emilio answered with a hint of defiance.
That might be true, but Roberto didnt think Emilio had ever taken a girl out on a fancy dinner date.
You got her flowers, didnt you?
Roberto hadnt thought of that. No.
Oh, man, he said, shaking his head, youre going to blow this.
Ill pick some up on the way.
Emilios face relaxed. Good idea.
Roberto headed for the door, then stopped for his overcoat and gloves. The leather gloves were new and necessary to hide the car grease he couldnt remove from around his nails.
Once more Emilio followed him. I know the perfect restaurant, he said excitedly, and snapped his fingers. Its perfect. Call Mama Celestes and make a reservation. The foods great and they think you walk on water ever since you repaired their van.
Good idea. Unfortunately that was exactly where Roberto had already planned to take Brynn. He turned and met his brother, eye to eye. He couldnt remember when Emilio had grown so tall. Nearly ten years separated them, and Roberto had become accustomed to being the older, wiser, bigger brother. He wasnt taller by much, and that surprised him.
Ive already made arrangements to take Brynn to Mama Celestes, he admitted. And I dont want you making any excuses to stop by there this evening. Do I make myself clear?
One corner of Emilios mouth lifted with a cocky half smile. Whats it worth to you?
Roberto eyes narrowed into a dark scowl, and Emilio laughed. Hey, I was just kidding, bro.
Roberto opened the front door. Dont wait up for me.
Are you kidding, man? This is one night Im going to want to hear about.

Brynn had been less nervous for her first high school prom. She checked her appearance a dozen or more times before the doorbell rang. Her inclination was to rush across the room and throw open the door, but she forced herself to remain calm and collected.
Roberto stood on the other side of the door, so handsome her breath locked in her lungs. It reminded her of the night of the church dance. Hed knocked her senses for a loop then, too.
Looking away, she stepped aside to allow him into her apartment. Hello, Roberto.
He inclined his head slightly. You look lovely. Smiling, he stepped into her apartment and tenderly pressed his lips to her cheek.
Surprised and delighted, Brynn raised her hand to her face, her fingers investigating the spot where hed kissed her.
Next he presented her with a small bouquet of flowers.
Roberto, how sweet. Thank you. She led the way into the kitchen, where she placed the bouquet of pink carnations and miniature purple irises in a tall crystal vase.
I didnt think to buy any wine, she said, regretting now that she hadnt thought of that beforehand.
Well have wine later, he said.
Ill only be a minute, she said, and gestured self-consciously toward the bedroom. I need to get my coat.
The ride to the restaurant, an Italian one from the looks of it, took several minutes. Roberto, the perfect gentleman, helped her out of the car and then escorted her inside.
The moment she walked through the door, Brynn was greeted with the scents of basil and simmering tomato. Garlic permeated the air, and she inhaled deeply, the smell alone enough to make her hungry. No one needed to tell her how good the food would be.
Roberto apparently knew the owners, and standing with his arm tucked around her waist, he introduced her.
Brynn Cassidy, meet Stefano and Celeste Seti.
She shook hands with the white-haired gentleman who was smiling broadly. His wife, Mama Celeste herself, planted her hands on her face and mumbled something in Italian to her husband. Brynn couldnt understand a word. Whatever it was appeared to please the grandmotherly woman. With a wide smile she kissed Roberto on both cheeks and promised them, in heavily accented English, the best dinner of their lives.
Soon they were seated at a table. Before Brynn had a chance to smooth the linen napkin on her lap, she was served red wine, thick slices of bread, and a large block of cheese.
The food never seemed to stop coming. Brynn sampled one fabulous dish after another. There must have been three or four different appetizersshrimp, eggplant, tiny meatballsbefore a huge Caesar salad arrived. When Brynn was convinced she couldnt eat another bite, the pasta was brought to their table by Stefano, who insisted she would break Celestes heart if she didnt take a large portion of the specialty of the house. From the envious looks being sent her way, Brynn had the feeling if she couldnt finish the clam spaghetti, any number of volunteers would gladly step in for her.
More wine, more wine, Stefano insisted, replenishing their glasses when shed finished the best pasta shed ever tasted. Brynn wasnt given a chance to refuse the wine. Stefano filled her glass and carried away their empty plates.
Ive never had such good food in my life, she murmured, and scooted back her chair. She planted her hands on her stomach. But if I dont stop eating now, I wont be able to walk.
No dessert? Roberto teased.
They finished with a cup of dark coffee. Stefano and Celeste visited their table before they left, and this time it was Brynn who was hugged and kissed. Mamas eyes watered, and she dabbed at their corners with the hem of her apron.
Once they were outside, Roberto headed for the car.
Would you mind very much if we walked awhile? Brynn asked. Physical movement would help ease the stuffed feeling. Besides, she didnt want the evening to end so soon.
By all means, lets walk, Roberto agreed. He reached for her hand and set a slow, easy pace. The night was crisp and cold.
It looks like it might snow.
Roberto glanced skyward. Wishful thinking on your part, he murmured. Theres barely a cloud in the sky.
He was right. The image of them walking together, hand in hand through lightly falling snow, appealed to her.
Although shed enjoyed their dinner, her one regret was that with all the food being served, and Stefano checking to be sure everything was to their liking, there hadnt been much of a chance for the two of them to talk.
Thank you, Roberto, for a wonderful meal.
He released her hand and slipped his arm around her waist. Thank you for coming with me.
Brynn pressed her head against his shoulder. What made you decide to ask me out? She wasnt sure what prompted the question, but she was curious.
I wanted everything to be right for you.
Be right?
He exhaled slowly as though he werent sure how to explain himself. You arent like other women Ive known.
Brynn smiled to herself. Is that a compliment?
Roberto was taken aback by her question. I meant it to be. Have I insulted you?
No, she assured him.
Youre special, Brynn. Not only to me, but to Emilio and his friends, too. They think a lot of you. Ive heard the teens talk about you, and when they do, well, its with respect. It takes a lot to impress kids these days.
And how do you feel about me? she asked. It would be far easier for her if Roberto came right out and told her. Shed never been so bold with a man, but this wasnt a normal relationship.
Me? He hesitated, taking some time to formulate his thoughts. Youre stubborn and strong-willed.
Brynn wouldnt deny it. If you think Im stubborn, you should meet my mother. She bit down on her lip when she realized what shed said. Reminding him of the mother hed lost was the last thing she wanted.
So you inherited the trait. He sounded amused, and Brynn was relieved.
I care for you, Roberto, she told him softly. More than I care for anyone other than my family. If he wasnt willing to acknowledge his feelings for her, then shed be the first one to say it. Knowing you has blessed my life. When I have a problem, youre the person I want to share it with. When something good happens, youre the one I want to tell. I find myself thinking about you a lot, probably more than I should.
His arm tightened around her middle. I feel the same way about you. I want very much to kiss you, Brynn, he said with a deep sigh that revealed his longing for her, but I dont want to do it in public. Not again. Ill wait until we get back to your apartment.
Brynns heart swelled with emotion as she looked to him. We could leave now, dont you think?
Roberto chuckled, and together they raced across the street and back to Mama Celestes, where Robertos car was parked.
As they neared Brynns apartment their amusement ebbed, replaced with a growing anticipation. Brynns hand shook slightly as she unlocked the front door, knowing that soon she would be in Robertos arms.
Together they walked into her apartment. Brynn didnt bother to turn on the lights. Once the door was closed, she lifted her arms and reached for Roberto.
With a deep-seated groan, he backed her against the door and kissed her.
The kiss was like fire, a spontaneous combustion of desire and need. Once wasnt near enough to satisfy either of them, and Roberto kissed her again and again. He surprised her with his tongue, and she gasped as he thrust it deep inside her mouth, stroking and teasing her. Gradually her gasp became a whimper that trembled from her lips.
When she was sure they were both about to faint with the intensity of their lovemaking, Roberto pulled away. She noted that his chest was heaving; hers was, too. In the dim light he looked down on her, and she met his look recklessly, unafraid for him to see all the love and longing in her eyes. Her fingers clung to the lapels of his suit as she studied him.
She waited, needing to know hed experienced the same wonder she had. He closed his eyes momentarily, his breath deep and harsh, as though he needed to separate himself from her, if not physically, then emotionally.
Brynn might have been offended if he hadnt continued to hold her close and with such tender care. She pressed her head to his chest and listened to the strong, fast-paced beat of his heart.
I dont dare touch you again, he whispered thickly.
Why not?
You make me lose my head.
Thats bad? she asked.
She felt his smile against her cheek. Not exactly. It would be very easy to take you into that bedroom and make love to you, but I wont.
You wont? She couldnt believe she was asking him this.
I cant allow that to happen. Once would never be enough with you. I would want you again and again, and that would only lead to
A loud knock sounded against the door, startling them both. Robertos eyes met hers in the faded light. Youre expecting someone?
She shook her head.
Who is it? she asked, struggling to make her voice strong enough to be heard.
Roberto turned on the light switch.
Emilio, Robertos brother shouted from the other side.
Roberto stiffened with irritation and opened the front door.
Its Modesto, Emilio cried as he stumbled into the apartment. His eyes were wide with panic and fear. The teenager slumped onto the sofa and covered his face with both hands. Modestos been shot.

Jammed inside Jenny and Michelles dinky apartment for the potluck Christmas party, everyone seemed to be talking at once. Trey felt as out of place as a bull moose at one of those fancy dog shows, the ones with dolled-up poodles with painted toenails.
Jennys acting friends were certainly a mixed breed. There were everyday people, the kind he would have been hard-pressed to guess were show people, and then there were the others. The others, he noted, tended to be flamboyant attention seekers.
It made for an interesting evening, he would admit that much. Holding his drink, he found a quiet corner and played the role of casual observer.
A couple of times Jenny drifted his way, but she wasnt able to stay for long. Trey understood. Since she shared hostessing duties with her roommate, she couldnt very well give him all her attention. Though to be honest, that was what Trey would have preferred.
He sipped the wine, a fruity-flavored one he wouldnt normally drink, but was all the market had offered. He found himself watching Jenny, mesmerized by her. She was as beautiful as he remembered, more so. Yet he couldnt look at her without his gut twisting up in a knot. This had been his lot when she was growing up. Loving her from afar.
Next to burying his parents, the most difficult thing Trey had ever done was to let Jenny Lancaster leave Custer, Montana, without telling her how much he loved her. He hadnt felt particularly self-sacrificing and noble at the time. He didnt feel that way now. It was just that he had some decisions to make, damned important ones, and they involved Jenny.
He loved her, and although hed tried to forget her in the last three years, he couldnt. Countless times hed attempted to convince himself to look for greener pastures.
It hadnt worked.
Hed spent the better part of ten years in love with Jenny, and it didnt appear that time or distance was going to change the way he felt.
Shed been little more than fifteen when hed first recognized her as a woman. Until then shed been a pesky kid. Living next door, so to speak, Trey had dealt mostly with Dillon, Jennys father.
He remembered the day hed realized she was a woman. Hed driven over to talk to her father about one thing or another and gone into the barn. Jenny had been there, grooming her filly and practicing her lines for a school play, when hed stumbled upon her by accident. Without missing a beat, shed continued with a flawless delivery. Shed ended her soliloquy by dramatically throwing herself into his arms, then leaning back and planting the back of her hand against her forehead. Less than a second passed before shed recovered from her death, leaped upright, and asked him what hed thought of her performance.
What hed saw, Trey realized now, was the most beautiful woman hed ever laid eyes on. Until that moment Trey had thought of Jenny as a kid. But it hadnt been a child hed held in those few moments.
Trey had scowled and muttered something about needing to talk to Dillon. Then for the next several years hed waited impatiently for Jenny to grow up so he could court her. Three long, torturous years. It hadnt been easy watching her date one young buck after another. Nor had he liked her riding over to tell him about her dates and seeking his advice.
Trey suspected Jennys parents knew how he felt about their daughter. But if they did, neither one said anything to him, and for that he was grateful.
By the time Jenny entered community college, she was dating one particular young man, and it looked for a time as if the two of them might be growing serious. More than once Trey had thought to go to her with his heart on his sleeve and tell her the way he felt.
This happened shortly after his parents had died, one after the other, within a nine-month period, and he was struggling financially. Dealing with his familys estate had drained his ready cash. Unfortunately this was about the same time that beef prices had plummeted. While he was fighting off the banks and barely holding his head above water financially wasnt the time to be asking a woman to be his wife.
By the time he felt he had something to offer Jenny, shed made the decision to leave Montana for New York.
Trey remembered that Jennys family had thrown a big going-away party for her. Trey couldnt force himself to attend. He knew if he let her leave, there was a good chance hed never see her again, at least not the Jenny he knew. New York would change her. New York would make her into one of those sophisticated women who carried their dogs under their arms while they went clothes shopping.
Letting Jenny leave Montana was a testament of how much he loved her. His love couldnt compete with her dreams. The bright lights of Broadway was her destiny. He was a cattle rancher with damn little to offer someone as talented as Jenny Lancaster.
At the last minute, Trey had stopped by the ranch and managed to wish her his very best. He remembered hed said something corny about her breaking her leg in New York. Then hed stood with her family and waved good-bye.
Shed driven off with her friends and taken his heart with her.
Afterward, Trey had gone home and gotten soundly drunk.
The first year after shed left had been the worst. Hed made a dozen or more excuses to visit the Lancasters and ask about her. Hed been tempted to write her but had promised himself he wouldnt. She was out of his life now and would soon be a big shot on Broadway.
Only it hadnt happened quite like that. By the second Christmas she was away, hed been semisuccessful in pushing the memory of her to the back of his mind. He still asked about her occasionally and was surprised to learn that her name wasnt lighting up any marquees. It was then that hed begun to hope Jenny would throw in the towel and move home to lick her wounds.
It was the small quiver in her voice when hed phoned that had first alerted Trey to the fact that something was wrong. He hadnt been able to put his finger on it. After all this time, he didnt expect Jenny to be the same person shed been when shed left Custer. He wasnt sure now what he had expected. Instead of sounding happy, shed seemed sad, and hed sensed in her a deep pain she couldnt hide.
Hed mulled that over for a number of days, and then it seemed everyone he knew on Gods green earth started talking about New York. Before he could question the wisdom of his actions, hed booked the flight to New York and subsequently learned the truth. He wasnt relieved or glad at her lack of success. His first reaction had been anger that those fancy, worldly men had been blind to her talents.
Trey wanted to take Jenny back to Montana. He wanted to love her, comfort her, and take care of her. More than that, he wanted to wipe away the frustration and disappointment.
He hadnt meant to ask her to come home so abruptly, but the words had refused to remain unsaid. The first time hed asked, her response had been quick and sharp.
No.
That had been before hed kissed her. When hed asked a second time, she hadnt answered.
Someone slipped a tape inside the cassette player, and a fresh batch of Christmas music filled the room. Several started to sing, and soon Trey heard three distinct parts, blending in perfect harmony.
Within a few moments everyone had stopped chatting to sing along. Jenny drifted over to Treys side. Hed never tire of hearing her sing. This, he decided, was what angels must sound like. Her voice conjured up that image for him.
The old Christmas carols were his personal favorites, and when the first introductory notes of Silent Night played, Trey sang along himself. It surprised him how well his deep voice blended with Jennys.
Pleasure lit up her eyes when she turned to smile at him.
He returned the gesture and draped his arm around her shoulder. A couple of the men in the group glanced his way and frowned. Trey didnt blame them for being jealous. He had battled down the affliction every time Jenny so much as glanced at another man. In the beginning it had damn near eaten him alive, but time and effort had helped him master his feelings.
Soon the music faded, taken over with small talk. The crowd was beginning to get to him, so he decided to step outside for some fresh air. To his surprise, Jenny grabbed her coat and followed him.
Come with me, she said, and led him to the fire escape. She sat down and patted the space next to her. I used to sit out here in the hottest nights of summer, she said. Her breath produced clouded puffs in the cold night air. Out here with the sky bright with stars was as close as I could get to feeling like I was in Montana again, she admitted.
It was hard for Trey to hold his tongue. Hed already asked her twice to come back to Custer with him. He wouldnt do it again.
I wondered if you ever thought about home, he said.
Every day.
Did you think about me, Jenny? He braced himself, fearing he wouldnt like her answer. He had never said a solitary word about his feelings for her.
When she looked up at him, Trey noticed that her eyes were bright with unshed tears. I thought about you a lot, Trey. I dont know why, but in the last six months it seemed you were on my mind nearly every day.
You never wrote me, he reminded her.
Her smile was weak at best. You didnt write me, either.
That he couldnt argue with.
Did you ... did you think about me, Trey?
Every damn minute of every damn day youve been away, he admitted huskily. He kissed her then, simply because he needed her so badly. Hed loved her for so long, he didnt know what it was not to love her.
Her ready response left him lightheaded. The kiss went on and on until they were both desperate to breathe.
Oh, Trey, she whispered, and buried her face against his neck.
It was heaven to hold her and the purest form of torture he had ever experienced. Heaven and hell.
The door abruptly opened behind them, and a couple stumbled out, giggling.
Sorry! the male voice charged. We havent interrupted anything, have we?

Modestos been shot. Shirley landed on the fire escape with such an urgency that she nearly unseated Mercy.
My goodness, Mercy said, gasping.
Did someone call for me? Goodness asked, joining her two friends.
Modestos in the hospital, Shirley blurted out in a dither. It was a gang shooting ... someone he didnt even know. Weve got to get there.
What about Brynn? Mercy asked, following her friend.
Shes already at New York General with Roberto and his brother. Emilios in a bad way.
Oh my.
Together the three of them left Jenny and headed across town. They soon descended into the hospital waiting room where the situation was tense.
Emilio sat in the corner of the room, bent forward, his elbows braced against his knees. Shirley couldnt remember ever seeing the teenager look more stricken. Roberto sat next to his brother, and Brynn couldnt seem to hold still. She paced from one side of the room to the other.
Modestos mother was weeping softly. His older sister had her arm around their mother, but she looked as though she were about to break into tears herself.
Theyve been waiting two hours, Shirley informed her friends.
Whats taking so long?
Modestos in surgery.
How did something like this happen? Mercy asked. In all the time theyd been working together, theyd never been a part of this kind of tragedy.
I dont know what to do for them. Shirley turned to face her two friends. Always before shed been the one with the most experience and the one the other two had looked up to for help. She looked desperately to Goodness for help.
This is just terrible, Mercy murmured, wringing her hands. Just terrible. Poor Modesto.
Poor Brynn. Shirley stood near the young teacher and watched her pace. Shes nearly beside herself with worry.
Stand with her, Goodness urged. Give her your strength.
Mine? Shirley was beside herself. Never had she felt more inadequate. Gabriel was right. I dont have nearly enough experience to help Brynn the way I should. She needs me and Ive failed her.
Brynn collapsed into a chair, and Shirley sat next to her and folded her wing protectively over the young woman.
Stay with her, Goodness suggested. Im going to find out what I can about Modestos condition.
Ill go with you, Mercy said, joining Goodness. Dont you worry about a thing, she said, looking back at Shirley. Im sure everythings under control.
The last thing Shirley wanted was to be left alone. She ached the same way Brynn did, worried the same way Brynn did. She shared her charges feelings of inadequacy. If ever Gabriel was right, it was now.
Shirley.
Just thinking about him seemed to have conjured up the archangel.
Gabriel, she said, leaping to attention.
How are things going? His presence seemed to fill up the hospital waiting room.
Shirley thought briefly of bluffing her way out of this, then figured Gabriel would be able to see through her in less time than it took for a heart to beat.
Its about Modesto, she explained, distraught and near tears herself.
I know all about the boy.
Can you tell me whats going to happen to him?
Gabriel inclined his head slightly. Hell recover in time.
Shirley sighed with heartfelt relief. Thank God.
Ill mention it the next time we talk, Gabriel assured her.
Sheepishly Shirley looked to the mighty archangel. You were right, she admitted sadly.
Thats always nice to know, but exactly what am I right about this time?
Me helping Brynn. Shes falling in love with Roberto.
So I understand.
Shirley waited for Gabriel to voice his disapproval, but he didnt.
Mr. Whalen placed a formal reprimand in her file.
I heard about that as well.
Suzies pregnant.
Yes.
Everythings one giant mess, and its all my fault. She hung her head, not wanting to view the disappointment in Gabriels eyes.
Your fault? Gabriel echoed, then chuckled softly. Youve got it all wrong. Gently he placed his wings around Shirleys burdened shoulders. I couldnt be more proud had I trained you myself. He paused and sighed deeply. Come to think of it, I have.

Thirteen
Hannah returned home from an errand her mother had sent her on, and hurried up the stairs to her familys living quarters. She hadnt taken more than a few steps into their apartment when aunts, uncles, cousins, and her beloved grandmother shouted, Surprise!
Hannah blinked back her shock. She stared at the sea of faces and noticed Carls parents were present as well. Ruth rushed forward and hugged Hannah enthusiastically.
Its an engagement party, her mother announced when Hannah stared at her, unable to disguise her anxiety.
Hannah looked at Carl, who was thrust into the middle of the room with her. She hadnt seen him since hed confessed that hed been fired.
Admitting to his family that hed lost his job would have mortified Carl. Hannah might never have learned the truth had she not arrived unexpectedly on his doorstep the afternoon shed met Joshua.
When she recognized how troubled Carl was over the loss of his job, she knew she couldnt deliver even more depressing news. So shed been forced to bide her time.
Apparently this party is in our honor, Carl explained.
Somehow Hannah managed to return a smile, but she didnt know how she would possibly make it through this party.
To be fair, Carl didnt look any more pleased than she did with the unexpectedness of their engagement party. He had told her earlier that since he was no longer employed, they would need to postpone the wedding. The next step was to announce this to their families. Carl had wanted time to tell his parents first, and Hannah had agreed. Now they were being forced to pretend all was well when they were keenly aware that it wasnt.
Once the pressure was off to set a wedding date, Hannah would be free to tell Carl about having met Joshua. He would understand. She was sure of that.
Hannah glanced around the room. It was filled to capacity with family, aunts, uncles, cousins, and longtime friends whod come to wish her and Carl happiness.
Because it was expected of her, Hannah took Carl around and introduced him to her relatives.
Her grandmother gazed at her fondly from a position of honor, the recliner. Hannah had always felt close to Sylvia Morganstern. Surely she would know something was wrong. Surely her grandmother would recognize that she wasnt in love with Carl. Hannah realized she wouldnt be able to hide her feelings from the one whod known and loved her all her life.
Come and say hello to your aunt Edith, Ruth said, placing her arm around Hannahs waist and leading her across the room.
Carl traipsed behind obediently. Hannah didnt know how anyone could look at the two of them and believe they were in love. Nor did she know how she could continue to pretend to be an eager bride when she intended to break their engagement at the earliest possible moment.
Briefly she closed her eyes and hoped Joshua would never learn of this engagement party. Thus far hed been wonderfully patient with her, but she didnt know how long that would last, especially when he learned she hadnt broken off the engagement with Carl the way shed promised.
Hannah, my dear, her grandmother said, and patted the empty seat beside her. First introduce me to your young man and then sit down. Im going to be greedy and hog you all to myself for a few moments.
Carl, this is my grandma Morganstern.
Im so pleased to meet you, Carl said formally and with deep respect.
Her grandmother asked him a number of gentle questions, which he answered, although it was clear to Hannah that he was eager to escape. Before he left, he was kind enough to bring Hannah and Sylvia each a cup of punch. Then as quickly as he could, he wandered away.
Her grandmother reached for Hannahs hand and squeezed her slim fingers affectionately. Now tell me all about you and Carl. How long have you been dating? Howd you meet?
It demanded all the fortitude Hannah possessed to keep from blurting out the truth. If anyone would understand about her loving Joshua, it would be her grandmother.
He looks like a good man.
Hannah smiled and agreed. Hell be a good husband. But not to her. She glanced in Carls direction and found she could barely look at him and not experience a crushing sense of guilt.
Hannah?
Her gaze continued to follow the man shed promised to marry. It astonished her that she could ever have agreed to be Carls wife, especially when it was so painfully obvious they were mismatched.
Carl is a wonderful man. Hes loyal and dedicated. Hannah lowered her gaze, hoping her grandmother wouldnt guess the love she nurtured in her heart was for another man.
Everyone seemed to be having a wonderful time. Together Hannahs parents brought one food tray after another out from the kitchen. The buffet-style meal was set on the dining room table. Because her parents were in the food business, this had been a labor of love, and the spread was something to behold.
Ive taken enough of your time, Sylvia insisted, patting Hannahs hand. It looks like your mothers ready for you and Carl.
It didnt escape Hannahs notice that her grandmother didnt comment on what a nice couple Hannah and Carl made. She was deeply relieved Sylvia hadnt pressed her with more questions. It was difficult enough to deceive her mother and father, but nearly impossible to maintain the pretense in front of her grandmother.
Hannah joined Carl, and it seemed everyone was staring at them, waiting for something to happen.
Carl reached for her hand and whispered, I spoke to my father.
A sense of relief nearly swallowed her whole, and she turned to face him. You did?
Carls gaze shifted about the room. Hes going to talk to the school board as soon as possible and see what can be done. Im confident hell be able to straighten everything out.
Thats wonderful, Carl.
His fingers tightened over hers. I cant tell you how worried Ive been over this.
Hannah had been concerned as well, but not for the reasons Carl assumed.
Everythings going to work out, Hannah, I promise you that.
Of course it will. And as soon as Carls misunderstanding with the headmaster was cleared up, shed be free to break the engagement.
Hannahs father asked Carls father, Rabbi Rabinsky, to say a short prayer before they ate. The rabbi stepped forward and placed one hand on his sons shoulder and the other on Hannahs. He closed his eyes, and the room went still.
The prayer was short and potent, asking God to shower His love upon the two of them and to fill their lives with good things.
When he raised his head, there was a murmur of agreement. Her family loved her, Hannah realized, and they wished her and Carl much happiness.
Soon her relatives and other guests were busy filling their plates. Hannah wasnt the least bit hungry, but to not eat might have alerted her mother that something was wrong, so she dished up with the others.
Hannah and Carl were ushered to the seats of honor, and she noticed that he didnt seem to have much of an appetite himself.
The party sat in a large circle, their plates resting on their laps. It was Aunt Edith who asked the question first.
Well, you two, dont keep me in suspense any longer. Whens the wedding date?
Everyone seemed to wait for Hannah to answer. The room filled with an expectant silence. Hannah looked first to her mother for help and then to Carl. Neither seemed inclined to respond.
I believe Mother and Helen felt that the wedding coordinator should be the one to decide that, Hannah explained when no one came to her rescue.
Nonsense, Edith said, dismissing the idea with a wave of her hand. Its up to the two of you to set the date. Let the wedding coordinator work around the one youve chosen.
But Hannah wasnt allowed to finish.
I agree, Cousin Hariette intoned. If youre going to have an outsider make all the arrangements, then its vital they know from the first whos in change. A weddings no small thing, and its best to get started on the right foot.
Ive wondered about this, Hannahs father murmured, looking to Ruth.
Springtime, Edith suggested next. When the flowers are starting to bloom. Theres nothing like fresh flowers for a wedding.
Oh no, Hannah said quickly. We cant possibly have the wedding so soon ... there wouldnt be near enough time, would there? She looked to Carl for support.
Im afraid Hannahs right, her mother concurred. We were thinking June.
June, Edith repeated. June would be perfect.
Cousin Hariette brought out a new calendar and flipped through the pages until she located the month.
I dont think Carl and I are in any rush, Hannah offered, but it seemed no one was listening to her. Both her own mother and Carls crowded around, peering over Hariettes shoulder, scanning the June page on the pocket calendar.
The sixteenth sounds perfectly lovely.
The closer to the middle of the month the better, from what I hear, another aunt offered.
I dont think we need to choose a date right now, do you? Hannah tried once more.
Her grandma Morganstern studied her closely, and Hannah realized shed best not say anything more. Not then, at least.
What do you think of June sixteenth? The question was directed to Carl, who had his fork poised in front of his mouth.
Give the young man a chance to eat, her father said, coming to Carls rescue.
With his mouth full of food, Carl nodded enthusiastically. Hannah felt he was silently commenting on what her father had said. Unfortunately everyone else in the room seemed to think he was agreeing to the wedding date.
That settles that, Ruth said cheerfully. The wedding is set for June sixteenth.

The news of Modesto Diazs injury spread quickly, and soon a number of Brynns students had gathered at the hospital. Again and again Emilio was forced to repeat the grisly details of what had happenedfirst to the police who came to question him, then to the curious and the fearful.
Father Grady arrived, and Brynn was grateful. She felt at a loss as to how to help Modestos mother and sister deal with the tragedy. After what seemed a lifetime, the surgeon appeared. His look was grave as he announced that the surgery had been a success. Modesto wasnt completely out of danger, and his condition was guarded. But the teen was doing as well as could be expected.
Following a translation of the physicians words, Modestos mother clenched her hands together, turned her face toward heaven, and wept loudly. His sister cried silently with relief. For the first time since hed appeared at her apartment door, some color started to return to Emilios face.
Roberto looked to Brynn and she to him. His relief was evident. Hers, too, she guessed, as she battled down the urge to weep.
While theyd sat through those interminable hours, Roberto had remained beside his brother, offering Emilio his support and love. The younger Alcantara had needed his brother.
Brynn, however, had found sitting impossible, so shed done what she always did when she was nervous: shed paced. Back and forth, until shed feared her path would leave permanent creases in the thin carpet.
Now she felt the need to be close to Roberto. He apparently shared her sudden desire, because he crossed the area. Without a word, he took her into his arms and held her firmly against him. She drank in his strength, absorbed his calm. His hold was tight, almost punishing, as if he planned on never letting her go.
Brynn knew that the two of them had attracted the attention of the others, but she didnt care who saw them together. Gradually Roberto did release her, but not before she felt his muscles tighten. His relief turned to anger as he faced Father Grady.
Its this neighborhood, Roberto said between clenched teeth. It could have been Emilio who was shot, or you, or Brynn. His face was tight and fierce. His brother was all the family he had left.
I know, I know, Father Grady said gently.
Roberto stalked to the far side of the room, his back to Brynn.
She wasnt entirely certain what was happening. Now wasnt the time for explanations, but she knew Father Grady would explain everything to her later.
Ill take you home now, Roberto announced starkly to Brynn.
She followed him through the crowded hospital corridor outside. The cold night air hit her like an unexpected slap. The wind stung her face and eyes as she hurried to keep pace with Roberto.

For Brynns sake, Roberto tried to control his anger, but he couldnt think of his younger brother and Modesto facing a nameless gunman on the same streets where children had played only hours earlier. His anger went deep and bordered on rage.
He focused his resentment on the neighborhood and the frustration he felt each time hed tried to make a better life for himself and Emilio.
It could have been his brother lying in that hospital bed. He could have lost Emilio. The thought terrified him. Hed promised his mother that he would watch after his brother, raise him right. He had failed her in other ways, but not this time. By heaven, not this time.
Roberto glanced over at Brynn, who sat next to him stiffly. Shed never seen this side of him. She didnt know he could be an angry, frustrated brute. This was what happened when those he loved were threatened.
Love.
Just mentally saying the word made him squirm. He was dangerously close to falling for the pretty Irish teacher. He didnt need anyone to tell him what a mistake that would be. It went without saying that a college-educated beauty like Brynn Cassidy had nothing in common with the likes of him. She should be dating a stockbroker or an attorney, not someone who had trouble getting the grease from beneath his fingernails.
He was living in a dream world if he thought anything could develop between them. God had delivered that message loud and clear. Roberto knew what he had to do next.
First off, he had to stop thinking about Brynn as a friend. Theyd never been that. As for making her his lover, however much he would like to entertain the notion, she was off-limits. Hed make excuses not to see her again, and soon enough shed get the message. Their relationship would be over before it ever started. Whatever it might have been was gone now.
Having made that decision, Roberto felt some of the hard ball of anger dissipate. He was in control again. His life was back in order.
One thing he vowed. Somehow, some way, with Gods help, he was going to find his way out of this neighborhood.

Brynns class was quiet and subdued on Monday. Normally her students tested her patience by chattering like monkeys long after the bell rang. Not this day. They filed into the room and sat at their desks and stared at her as though they anticipated some great revelation from her.
By now most of you have heard about what happened to Modesto, she said.
It aint fair, Miss Cassidy, Yolanda said.
Life isnt fair, Denzil answered.
Modesto wasnt doing anything.
He isnt bad, you know.
Of course he isnt. Brynn felt at a loss as to how to answer their fears, nor did it seem right to dig into her lessons when it was obvious her students needed to talk about what had happened to their friend.
I went to see him at the hospital, Emilio announced, his voice void of emotion. They wouldnt let me in.
Modestos in intensive care. I know because I called, someone else claimed.
Hes going to live, isnt he?
Brynn couldnt answer that, so she repeated as best she could what the physician had said. His chances are very good, but theres always the possibility of complications.
We werent doing nothin, Emilio said to no one in particular. The police tried to make it sound like we were on the prowl looking for trouble. Man, if I was looking for action, Id take my posse with me.
There were murmurs of agreement.
Emilio leaned forward and placed his hands over his face. He looked both vulnerable and afraid. Wanting to comfort him, Brynn walked over to his side and placed her hand gently on his shoulder.
He shrugged it off viciously and glared up at her. Dont touch me, he snapped.
Such behavior wasnt like Emilio. If she considered any one student an ally, it would be Robertos brother.
She stepped back, but not before Emilio slid out of his seat and stormed out of the room. The glass panel in the door rattled as he slammed it closed.
Emilio. She started after him. If he was caught in the hall without a pass, hed be sent to the principals office. If he mouthed off to Mr. Whalen, he was likely to be suspended a second time, and if that happened, it was doubtful hed be back.
Brynn stopped at the door. Suzie, she called, would you take over for me for a few moments?
The teenagers eyes widened with apprehension before she nodded.
Thank you, Brynn whispered, and left the classroom. She was breaking another cardinal rule by doing so. If she was discovered, she would receive another formal reprimand. She weighed the decision carefully before stepping into the hallway. Something was very wrong with Emilio, and she had to find out what.
She found him crouched on the floor next to a dented beige locker at the end of the hall. His head hung between his knees.
Emilio. She said his name gently.
He didnt look up.
It wasnt your fault.
Leave me alone, he said, his voice uncharacteristically hard and cold.
You cant blame yourself for what happened to Modesto, she offered.
This time he hissed something in Spanish, and for once Brynn was grateful for her limited language skills. One thing was certain: he wasnt inviting her to talk matters out.
You cant stay here, she said, looking both ways down the hall. Please, Emilio, come back into the class.
He shook his head.
If they find you
Yeah, yeah, I know. Ill get suspended. Do you really think I care, Miss Cassidy? I dont.
I care.
Am I supposed to appreciate that?
Yes.
He looked away, and it seemed that he was wishing her back into the classroom. Leave me alone.
Youre hurting, Emilio. I want to help.
He lifted his head and stared at the ceiling. Modestos the one whos in pain, not me.
Do you think Modesto wouldnt be in as much pain if youd been shot, too?
Yes, he shouted, and slammed his fist into the locker directly beside him. The noise exploded in the silent hallway like a cannon shot, echoing off the sides.
For sure theyd be found now. Brynn closed her eyes and inhaled a deep, calming breath. Emilio didnt want her help, didnt need her.
Im sorry this happened to you, Emilio, she said softly. So very sorry. Knowing he wouldnt accept her help, she turned and started back to her classroom.
I ran.
She paused. So that was what this was all about. Emilio thought himself a coward because hed deserted his friend and saved his own life.
Brynn turned back and squatted next to him. Her legs ached before she spoke. I would have run, too. It was probably what saved you from being shot as well.
Emilio said nothing.
Do you think Modesto wouldnt have tried to escape had you been the one hit first?
Again Emilio didnt respond.
You acted instinctively, Brynn tried again. You had nothing with which to defend yourself. The option had been taken away from you.
A parched cry worked its way through his throat, and he buried his face in his arms with a muffled sob.
Brynn longed to touch him, but she was afraid that her comfort was the last thing he sought. Because her muscles were cramping, she placed her knees on the cold floor.
Theres no shame in what you did, she whispered.
His shoulders shook, and unable to watch him and do nothing, Brynn braced her hand against the curve of his shoulder.
The pain, the doubt, the fears and self-recriminations, broke like a fire hydrant inside him. His shoulders shook violently with uncontrollable sobs. One after another tumbled from his lips until his cries became those of an injured animal.
Kneeling at his side, Brynn gently tucked his head against her breast and held him. Gently she rocked back and forth, fighting emotion while the pain poured from Emilio Alcantaras heart.

Will you be seeing Trey this afternoon? Michelle asked Jenny.
I dont know. They hadnt made plans to get together, and she had to work later in the day. Shed told him her schedule and had expected to hear from him. Thus far shed been disappointed.
Michelle wandered into their living room, a plastic trash bag in hand. She picked up an empty wine bottle and tossed it inside. Your friend certainly generated a lot of interest.
Jenny had noticed that much herself.
I had to tell Julia Leonard to wipe the drool off her chin.
Jenny smiled.
That guys a hunk, girl. How come you never mentioned how handsome he is? Its like he walked in directly from the range. Someone asked me if hed left his horse parked outside. Michelle ditched a paper plate in the trash bag. There was something else I noticed.
Whats that? Jenny asked, tossing a beer can into the accumulated garbage.
He only had eyes for you.
Ive known Trey LaRue nearly all my life, Jenny explained.
Michelle straightened and studied Jenny for a couple of moments. By the way, what kind of name is Trey, anyway? It sounds like its French or something.
His real names Mark.
Mark? Howd his family get Trey out of that?
His grandfathers name was Mark and his fathers name was Mark, and when he was born the story goes that there were so many Marks floating around, they decided to call him Trey.
Oh, I get it now. Trey for the third Mark, Michelle murmured.
Right. Jenny returned to picking up the clutter left over from the party.
Are you going to marry him? her roommate shocked her by asking next.
Marry him?
Why not? Michelle asked flippantly. Its as clear as melted snow the guys in love with you. When I first met him I thought it was rather sweet of him to travel all this way to see you. Its a definite boost to a womans ego to have a man from her past idolize her. I could certainly do with a couple of men like Trey myself.
Hes never once mentioned marriage to me, nor will he. Jennys reply was defensive, and she knew it.
Michelles eyebrows flirted with her hairline. Youd be tempted to accept his proposal if he did, wouldnt you?
Dont be ridiculous. But she wasnt nearly as confident as she sounded. She didnt know what shed say if Trey proposed. One thing was certain: she didnt like the turn their conversation had taken. It hadnt bothered her when Michelle mentioned the open curiosity of their friends toward Trey. It hadnt hurt her pride any to have Trey fend off the friendly advances made by the more aggressive of her peers. Frankly, Jenny didnt blame her friends. Trey had the same overwhelming effect upon her senses.
The few kisses theyd shared before being interrupted had haunted her. She wanted him to kiss and touch her again just so shed know what theyd shared had been as good as she remembered.
Can you honestly picture someone like Trey living in New York? she asked Michelle heatedly. Within a month hed go stark, raving mad. Treys the type of man who needs plenty of wide-open space.
If he loved you ...
No. Jenny wouldnt consider it. Besides, it was a moot point. The very idea that hed propose was ludicrous. He was in town only a few days, exactly how many he had yet to tell her. When he left shed ride out to the airport with him and see him off. But the mere thought of Trey heading back to Montana produced an emptiness she couldnt shake.
Jenny? Michelle broke into her musings.
She smiled weakly and resumed her task, but her mind wasnt on it.
Of course if you married Trey, you wouldnt necessarily need to live in New York. There are
Are you suggesting I return to Montana? Jenny demanded. What are you trying to tell me, Michelle? That its time I admitted the truth, that Im a no-talent wannabe and that Ill never make it on Broadway or, for that matter, any place else? She was desperate to breathe by the time shed finished.
Visibly shocked by Jennys outburst, Michelle stood frozen and stared at her.
Jenny sagged into the chair. I didnt mean that.
I didnt either, Michelle whispered. I believe in you as strongly as I do in myself.
I know. Theyd been each others cheering squad for too long for Jenny to doubt her friend now. Over the last three years theyd been through so much together. Jenny knew Michelle wished her nothing but unbridled success. Anything else would have been completely out of character.
The phone rang just then.
The last few days had been a tense time for them both. Michelle was due to hear the results of her second audition with John Peterman. If it were in her power, Jenny would award her friend the role, but it wasnt.
You want me to get it? she asked Michelle.
No, I will, Michelle answered, and walked over to the wall phone. She reached for it and paused, her hand inches from the receiver. You get it, all right? she asked, and moved away.
It pealed a third time before Jenny could reach it.
I should be the one to answer, Michelle said abruptly and ripped the receiver off the hook. This is Michelle Jordan, she greeted cheerfully, as if she had been sitting idly by the phone without a care in the world. She listened for a moment, then, Well, hello, she said seductively, eyeing Jenny. And how are you?
A second pause while Jenny was left to wonder who was at the other end of the line.
Of course.... No, its no problem whatsoever. She pressed the mouthpiece against her shoulder. Its Trey. He wants to talk to you. Do you want me to tell him youre here, or would you rather I made up some excuse and told him you were out for the day?

Fourteen
Emilio was absent from school the following afternoon. Brynns heart sank. She couldnt very well cancel the most important test this term because one student hadnt bothered to show.
Emilio had left school the day before without returning to class, but when Brynn had tried to reach him later, the phone had gone unanswered. With her own commitments, she hadnt been able to seek out Roberto, nor had she been able to talk to him.
Her day felt incomplete without some form of contact with Roberto. Little by little shed opened her heart to Emilios older brother. There was such passion in Roberto, such intensity. The other men shed dated had been neither hot nor cold. Nothing excited them. Not injustice. Not good fortune. Not tickets to a play-off football game. Brynn had been left wondering what would happen if any of them ever won the lottery.
There was no doubt in her mind, however, where Roberto stood on any number of subjects. He rarely hesitated to make his opinions known. Although she often disagreed with him, she appreciated the fact that he was willing to take a stand. He cared deeply for those he loved. That was what had attracted her to him in the beginning.
Every time he kissed her the experience left her shaken. One thing was certain: Roberto Alcantara would never be a lukewarm lover.
Is everyone ready for their midterms? she asked the class. Standing in front of the room, she cradled the test papers against her chest.
A low rumble of responses came from her students. As the papers were being handed out, Brynn noted that Emilio wasnt the only student absent that day. Modestos desk was conspicuously empty. His condition remained listed as serious, but from what shed heard he would soon be upgraded to satisfactory.
Mike Glasser was gone as well. That disappointed her. Shed tried hard to bring the loner out of his shell, but nothing had worked. His attitude baffled her. When she looked directly at him, she assumed his mind was a thousand miles away, yet when she quizzed him, he knew the answers. The boy was keenly intelligent, but he refused to apply himself.
Brynn walked around the room while her class took the exam. This was by far the most important test shed given, and shed worked long hours composing the essay questions. Her students responses were the best way she had of gauging how well shed done her job.
The class discussions were thought-provoking and often heated. Brynn was thrilled that she could make her students care about what had happened in the world fifty years earlier. She felt it was important for them to do more than memorize dates and names.
Her goal was for them to look back at history and learn from the past. She wanted them to gain insight and perspective from a journal written by a teenage Jewish girl, who, despite the years separating their worlds, wasnt unlike them. It excited Brynn when her students recognized that they shared the same dreams, the same aspirations, as Anne Frank.
More important, Brynn wanted her students to reason through this material and willingly share their feelings with her. A number of the test questions had no right or wrong answers. All she wanted was for each of her students to reflect on this time period in American and European history and then express their thoughts.
When Brynn strolled past Suzies desk, she was surprised to discover that the girls paper was blank.
Unwilling to break the concentration of any of the others, Brynn resisted the urge to ask Suzie if something was wrong. She noticed that the girl wore a maternity top and wondered if anyone else recognized Suzie was pregnant.
Pen in hand, Suzie briefly acknowledged Brynn, then bent forward and started to write.
As Brynn walked past Emilios empty desk, she couldnt help wondering what had kept him from class. It wasnt as if he hadnt known about this test or realized its significance. Brynn had been talking about it for several days, reviewing the material so it would be fresh in their minds. Now and again shed purposely screw up the dates and would take pride when someone, often a student she wouldnt expect to know the difference, would correct her.
After class had been dismissed, Brynn quickly reviewed the test results and was pleased with what she read. Because she was anxious to talk to Emilio, she left school as soon as she could without checking for messages. She rarely received anything more than the dittoed sheets the school printed for all staff members. With the advent of Christmas, and most all the classes winding down, she didnt expect anything of real importance.
Eager to see Roberto, Brynn walked to his garage first. The sky was dark with thick gray clouds the color of tempered steel, and the wind added an extra chill to the late afternoon. Nevertheless, Brynn was happy. Shed had her first real date with Roberto, and even though their evening had ended abruptly, their time together had proved what shed long suspected. Roberto cared about her the same way she did about him.
Brynns parents were anxious for her to come home for Christmas, but shed already decided against making the trip. She hadnt told her mother, and wouldnt, but she preferred to stay right here in New York with Roberto. Shed mentioned him in passing several times, and in the last telephone conversation, shed confessed she was strongly attracted to him.
The bell chimed over the doorway when she entered his garage. She rubbed her hands together to chase away the chill. No one greeted her.
Is anyone here? she called out, thinking it odd that Roberto hadnt locked up the garage.
A minute later Roberto appeared, dressed in greasy overalls. He wiped his hands clean on a rag, his face devoid of emotion. He nodded once and greeted her without revealing any pleasure in seeing her. Hello, Brynn.
None of the warmth or welcome shed felt on their dinner date was apparent. Puzzled by his attitude, Brynn felt like walking out the door and coming back to try this all over again.
Is something wrong? she asked.
He shook his head. You tell me.
Well ... Baffled, she wasnt sure what had happened. Emilio wasnt in class this afternoon.
Yes, I know.
There was an important test.
He shrugged as though to say that was of no importance to him.
Is Emilio ill?
No.
Then where was he?
Running errands for me, Roberto informed her briskly.
You mean to say you knew he was purposely skipping classes and you let him? Anger swelled inside her, but she did a good job of maintaining her composure.
Yes. Emilio announced this morning that he didnt feel like going to school, and I told him the choice was his.
This was a discussion theyd had in the past, and theyd always ended up arguing about the importance of education. Nothing she said would change Robertos opinion, and certainly nothing he said would alter her feelings.
I want to talk to Emilio, she said, unwilling to be drawn into a verbal battle neither one of them could win.
He isnt here, Roberto continued stoically.
When do you expect him back?
He didnt hesitate. I dont know.
Brynn could see that discussing Emilio would be a losing proposition. She looked past Roberto, hoping to gain perspective on what was happening between them.
How was your day? she asked in an effort to put the conversation back on an even keel.
Busy. He glanced over his shoulder as though to say there was plenty left for him to do and her silly questions were keeping him from his chores.
Brynn wasnt sure what to do or say. She could play cute word games and dance around the issue, but that would solve nothing. Theyd done all that before.
If youve got something to say to me, Roberto, Id appreciate it if you came out and said it. She stiffened, knowing instinctively what was on his mind.
A flicker of surprise flashed in and out of his eyes. He hadnt anticipated her being this direct, she guessed. Normally she wasnt. Whenever it was possible she avoided confrontation, but shed learned that in dealing with Roberto, she was better off taking the offensive.
From the first time since shed arrived, he hesitated.
Let me say it for you, then, she offered. Youve come to some monumental decision about us.
Brynn
Let me finish, she insisted, forcing herself to sound light and airy, as though his attitude didnt affect her one way or the other. Youve decided that itd probably be best for us not to see each other again. Am I right?
His jaw had gone white. Something along those lines, but I dont think now is the time to discuss it.
It seems to me this is as good a time as any, she responded with a flippant air. You know what they say about there being no time like the present.
Perhaps, but
Why, Roberto? she asked simply. Her chest tightened, and this time she couldnt hide the pain in her voice. Did I do something unforgivable? Something so terrible that you cant find it in your heart to forgive me?
No, he said harshly, and briefly closed his eyes. For what its worth ... He stopped himself, then started again, his eyes as gentle as shed ever seen them. He didnt want to hurt her, that much was evident.
Whatever it is, she whispered forcefully, we can work it out.
He shook his head. I never intended to become emotionally involved with you. Were both intelligent enough to realize were all wrong together. He clenched the muscles along the side of his jaw, and when he spoke his voice was filled with regret. I blame myself. Matters should never have gone this far.
What am I supposed to do? Forget I ever met you? When I bump into you on the street, do you want me to turn and walk the other way?
No ...
Ive never been the type of person who can turn my feelings on and off at will. Tell me what it is you want from me. Just tell me and I promise Ill walk out that door and itll be as though wed never met.
For a long time he didnt answer her.
Im waiting, she told him. Im not a difficult person to talk to, Roberto. At least others dont seem to have a problem. Tell me, she said again, more emphatically this time, what is it you want.
His hands clenched into fists. I want you to leave New York, he said, his voice strained. You dont belong here. You and all this nonsense about teaching these kids to wish for the impossible. Try filling Modestos head with that garbage now, why dont you? Hes fighting for his life. Were light-years away from anything more than survival. Youre beating your head against a stone wall, only you havent learned that yet. Personally I dont want to be the one whos left to pick up the pieces when you do.
His words ripped open her heart, and just then she found it impossible to reply.
Therell be someone else for you soon enough, he continued.
Someone else? She couldnt believe he would suggest she was the type to leap from one relationship to the next in some crazy form of emotional hopscotch.
Who you date is your own business. All I ask is that you leave me out of it.
It, she reasoned, meant her life. He wanted nothing more to do with her.
Had she possessed a sliver of pride, Brynn would have turned and walked out. Instead she forced herself to stay, even when she knew that it meant more pain.
Her emotions battled with each other. She wanted to strike back at him, hurt him the same way hed hurt her. And in the next millisecond she longed to throw herself in his arms and beg him to change his mind.
In the end she did neither. From some reserve of strength she knew nothing about, she scrounged up a genuine, heartfelt smile. Youre right, she told him, there will be someone else. In time. Then, because she couldnt make herself leave without touching him, Brynn gently placed her hand against his cheek.
A muscle leapt in his face as he steeled himself against her.
Good-bye, Roberto. Godspeed.
She dropped her hand and was about to turn away when he reached out and grabbed hold of her shoulder and whirled her around. Crushed against him as she was, Brynn buried her face in his chest and clung. His kiss was hard and urgent, and she knew the moment he released her that he regretted ever having touched her.
Good-bye, Brynn Cassidy. Have a good life.
She nearly sobbed aloud, but she managed to hold the emotion inside. You too, Roberto Alcantara.

How can you stand there and do nothing? Goodness demanded of Shirley. Roberto should have his head examined.
Personally, I agree, but unfortunately he has a free will to decide whatever he wants.
Free will? Im telling you right now thats the crux of the problem with humans. They can do anything they want, and theyve let it go to their heads.
Thats the whole tamale in a nutshell, Shirley concurred, then scratched her head, wondering why that sounded wrong.
I have half a mind to shake up this city.
Shirley wished Mercy were with her. Shed seen Goodness in this mood before, and it was downright frightening. The last time had been in Bremerton, Washington, when Goodness had gotten her hand on an aircraft carrier. The naval command was still trying to figure that one out.
Goodness, are you thinking what I think youre thinking?
Someone needs to shake up this town.
Personally, Shirley said, trying to be as diplomatic as possible, I wouldnt advise you to mess with New York.
Goodness appeared unconvinced. Texas frightens the wings off me, but I can handle New York.
I still dont think this is a good idea.
You dont even know what Im going to do.
Shirley didnt want to know. Oh my, where was Mercy when she really needed her? When Goodness was in this frame of mind, she was more than Shirley could handle alone.
Shirley glanced around her, searching for help.
Staten Island.
No, Shirley cried in a panic, leaping in front of her friend, not the Statue of Liberty!
Goodness pretended not to notice her, which frightened Shirley all the more. Let me see, Goodness mumbled, what could I do to jar a few folks into realizing the error of their ways?
Dont you think we should talk this out first? Shirley asked hopefully. I mean, just because matters are going poorly with my assignment, theres no reason to take it out on the entire city. Therere plenty of good things happening, too.
Goodness hesitated, and hope surged through Shirley that she might be able to reason her friend out of pulling some disastrous stunt.
Im sure everything must be going well with Hannah and Joshua. As soon as she spoke, Shirley recognized the error of her ways.
As a matter of fact, theyre not going well at all.
Oh, Im sorry to hear that.
Hannah and Carl have set their wedding date for June sixteenth.
But I thought ... didnt you say that Hannah had fallen in love with Joshua Shadduck?
She has, and hes head over heels crazy about her.
Shirley assumed this would be good news. I thought that was what you wanted.
It is.
Shirley remained puzzled. The last thing you told me was that Hannah had agreed to break off her engagement with Carl.
Thats what I thought, too, Goodness said with a disgruntled sigh, only it didnt happen that way. Instead her family pressured her into setting a wedding date, and before she knew what to do, it was all decided for her. Shes scheduled to marry Carl Rabinsky in June.
Oh, poor, poor Hannah.
Hannah nothing, Goodness cried. What about Joshua? He trusted her. Shes supposed to be in love with him, remember? The fact is, I dont trust Hannah to do the right thing by Joshua.
Theres plenty of time yet, Shirley said in an effort to placate her friend. Just because Hannah and Joshuas relationship has gone slightly off course doesnt mean you should do anything so drastic as disrupt the best-known New York landmark.
Goodness didnt agree or disagree with her. Im so frustrated with these humans, I could scream.
Shirley was about to suggest just that when to her great relief Mercy arrived, looking serene and happy.
Whats happenin? Mercy asked as though she hadnt a care in the world.
While Goodness went into a short explanation about Hannah and Joshua, Shirley studied the other angel. Then it came to her in a flash. Mercy had been up to something herself.
Mercy, Im shocked at you, Shirley cried. Oh my, what would Gabriel do if he learned about this?
What? Mercy asked, but wasnt able to hide a guilty look.
Tell me where youve been! Shirley asked, her eyes narrowing.
Me? Mercy had perfected that look of innocence. She might even be able to fool Gabriel.
Although she asked, Shirley knew. Dont tell me, please dont tell me youve been riding the escalators again?
Mercy shifted her gaze away. Just for a little while.
Mercy. Shirley was outraged. One of them had to show a little responsibility. Why oh why did it have to be her?
I cant believe youd jeopardize our entire mission by doing anything so silly. She closed her eyes and shook her head.
Actually, Im in the mood for a little fun myself, Goodness said.
Goodness, no, Shirley cried.
You wanna have some fun? Goodness asked Mercy.
Oh, I have been, but after what happened this afternoon, Im game for just about anything.
Shirley opened and closed her mouth. At this point her protests would fall upon deaf ears, and she knew it.
A twinkle sparked from Goodnesss eyes as she smiled over at Shirley. Are you coming along or not?
Youre headed for trouble.
Goodness laughed. So what else is new? Theres only so much of this being on my best behavior that I can take.
Mercy released an exaggerated sigh. Boy oh boy, do I identify with that. I cant remember the last time I slid down an escalator railing. By golly, it felt good.
If you want the truth, I would have thought youd have discovered the Holland Tunnel before now.
The corners of Mercys mouth started to quiver.
What did you do? Shirley asked suspiciously.
Mercy gave an innocent shrug. Remember that traffic jam all the newspapers reported not long ago?
You caused that?
Mercy grasped her hands behind her back and shook her head. Not me. I didnt have a thing to do with it.
Goodnesss eyes lit up brighter than a Fourth of July sparkler. If Mercy can mess around with the Holland Tunnel, then no ones going to mind if Lady Liberty takes a short stroll.
Goodness, no.
Oh, come on, Shirley, let your feathers dangle a little. Gabriel isnt going to hear about this.
I dont think we should risk it, she said cautiously. Really. Shouldnt we talk this out?
Goodness shook her head. Are you in or out, Shirley? Its time to separate the wheat from the chaff.
Ah ...
Goodness and Mercy started to pull away. Im in, Shirley said hastily. I just hope I dont end up playing a harp for all eternity.

The talk filled the deli all day, until Hannah was sick of hearing about it. Some people, obviously tourists, claimed that the Statue of Liberty had done a 360-degree turn. It was by far the most ridiculous thing Hannah had ever heard.
Someone from the financial district claimed hed watched the grand lady make the complete rotation. There were said to be news tapes of it as well.
Hannah remained skeptical. Years earlier, some magician claimed to have made the Statue of Liberty disappear. All this talk now didnt impress Hannah. Besides, she had other matters on her mind.
She needed to see Joshua and had been unable to reach him all afternoon. Making phone calls during business hours was difficult for her. Privacy was always at a premium in the kitchen, and she didnt dare risk someone listening in on her conversation.
When she had a free moment, a rare commodity this busy time of the year, she raced upstairs and phoned Joshuas office. Unfortunately he was out, but his secretary promised to give him the message as soon as he returned.
But Joshua couldnt return her call, and they both knew it, so Hannah was left to fret. When she did see him, she wasnt sure she could tell him about what happened.
December was the busiest month for the deli. Her fathers meat and cheese trays had a reputation that was citywide. After the normal lunchtime rush, Hannah was left to deal with people who stopped by to order the trays.
She was busy with a customer when she saw Joshua. Although she was desperate to talk to him, this was the worst possible place.
I think Ill change that from slices of cheddar cheese to Monterey Jack, Mrs. Synder, a longtime customer, was saying.
Hannah bit into her lower lip and watched as Joshua made his way to the counter where her father was making thick pastrami sandwiches.
Monterey Jack, the woman repeated, louder this time.
Oh, sorry, Hannah said, and quickly made the notation.
Do you have Greek olives?
Yes. No, she said quickly, correcting herself.
Do you or dont you? came the impatient question.
No, Im sorry. Hannah forced herself to concentrate on completing the order form.
How much will that be?
Grateful that she was close to finishing, Hannah quickly tallied the figures.
Really? I expected it to be much more than that, Mrs. Synder said, looking pleased.
Hannah immediately refigured the total. She was prime for making a mistake.
Do you still serve that fantastic cheesecake? the woman asked.
A male voice answered the question for her. Its the best in New York.
Joshua.
Hannahs head snapped up. Thank you, she said, her gaze connecting with his. My mother makes it herself.
Throw one in for me, then, Mrs. Synder said, grinning broadly.
Ill be happy to. Hannah added the cheesecake to the tally. Everything will be ready for you the afternoon of the twenty-second.
Thank you for your help.
Hannahs gaze moved past Mrs. Synder to Joshua. His eyes were warm and tender as they met hers.
Can I help you? she asked, turning the page on her ordering pad. She could feel the color creep up her neck. Anyone who knew her well would realize that Joshua wasnt just any customer.
Hello, beautiful.
Joshua, she mumbled under her breath, be careful, someone might hear you.
That doesnt bother me. You are beautiful.
Thank you. I think you are, too.
He laughed then, but not loudly enough to attract attention. You phoned me?
She nodded and chanced a look in her fathers direction. She was grateful to see that he was otherwise occupied. Her mother was busy in the kitchen but could appear at any moment.
You talked to Carl?
She hesitated, then nodded. But I wasnt able to break the engagement.
Even from her side of the counter, Hannah could sense Joshuas frustration.
I couldnt tell him, not then, she hurried to explain. When I arrived, I learned that hed been fired from his job. He got in an argument with the headmaster. Carl was depressed and miserable. I couldnt add to his distress.
What do you plan to do, marry him and make him feel better?
Of course not.
Thats what it sounds like, Hannah. His voice was gentle, but she knew he was disappointed.
Id never marry Carl. I promise you that. Please, youve got to believe me.
He said nothing, as if placing his faith in her were something he wasnt certain he should do. Hannah fought to keep from blurting how much she loved him.
Young man, is my daughter helping you?
It was her father. Hannah tensed, and her eyes pleaded with Joshuas not to reveal their secret. It would only be for a while longer, she promised him silently.
He pulled his gaze away from her. Shes been very helpful, he answered.
Are you ordering a meat tray?
I thought I might give it a try. He reached for a brochure and began to leaf through it. Youre Mr. Morganstern, arent you? he said just when it seemed her father was about to turn away. Hannah didnt understand why Joshua didnt let him leave. Certainly he felt as awkward about all this as she did.
Yes. Her fathers warm smile came through on the lone word.
Joshua Shadduck, Joshua said, extending his hand across the counter.
Her father hesitated before peeling off the protective plastic glove from his fingers and exchanging handshakes.
This is my daughter, Hannah.
Actually, Ive met Hannah before, Joshua said, his gaze resting on her.
Hannah tensed, afraid Joshua had completely lost his patience with her and was about to reveal the truth.
Shes delivered lunches to my office a number of times. Hannahs a wonderful young woman.
Thank you. Naturally her mother and I share your opinion. Her father placed his arm affectionately around her shoulder. Wheres your office?
Joshua told him.
So youre an attorney.
Hannah noticed that her fathers voice had gone a shade cooler and wondered if Joshua had sensed the difference himself.
I was recently made a partner in the firm, Joshua explained proudly.
Congratulations.
Im rather pleased myself. Joshuas gaze returned to Hannah.
It must have been the warm way in which he regarded her that prompted her father to continue the conversation.
Generally he didnt spend a lot of time chatting with customers.
We have reason to celebrate as well, he said, gently squeezing Hannahs shoulder. Our daughter was recently engaged.
Joshuas smile dimmed somewhat. Then congratulations are in order.
Thank you, she said without emotion.
My wife and I feel truly blessed to have our daughter. Shes our greatest joy.
Dad, please, Im sure Mr. Shadduck doesnt want to hear all this.
Nonsense. You do my heart proud. The world is a better place because of you.
Hannah was embarrassed, and she was certain Joshua found all this amusing.
Shes a lovely girl, Joshua told her father.
Shell make a beautiful bride, dont you agree?
Oh yes, Joshua was quick to concur.
Im sure my wife and I will be sending out wedding invitations to a select few of our most valued customers. Now that the dates been set we can start making up the guest list.
Joshua said nothing, but his eyes narrowed fractionally.
Daddy, I dont think
The wedding date for your daughter has been set? Joshua interrupted.
Yes, we decided that only last night, isnt that right, sweetheart?
Hannah nodded miserably.
June sixteenth, her father informed him.
Joshuas gaze didnt leave hers. Congratulations, Hannah, he said. Im sure you and your young man will be very happy. Having said that, he turned and walked out the door.

Fifteen
Trey didnt dislike New York. If anything, he was pleasantly surprised. Hed expected it to be the concrete jungle hed read about, with treeless, crime-ridden streets. He was confident there was plenty of crime, but he hadnt seen any. And even in the heart of Manhattan hed noticed an abundance of trees.
If he had any complaints, it was the noise. He wondered how a man was supposed to sleep through all that racket. The traffic outside his hotel never ceasedhorns honking, brakes screeching. And he was bombarded by an array of sounds he could never hope to identify; he heard them all, even twenty stories up in his hotel room.
The city had its own clamor, nothing like the sounds in the country: the cry of a lone wolf, the hoot of an owl as it flew with the moonlight bouncing off its wing ... Trey imagined that given the opportunity, hed become accustomed to city noises. But there was a snowballs chance in hell of his ever living in New York City. No, he was a country boy, and like John Denver, he thanked God for that. Too much more of life here and hed have men with nets chasing him through Central Park.
An early riser by nature, Trey was up and out the door just after dawn, heading for the hole-in-the-wall doughnut shop across the street from the hotel. The hotel served a decent cup of coffee, but there was no way he was going to pay a buck fifty for a two-bit cup of coffee. The doughnut shop was more to his liking, although he couldnt say that anyone had been all that friendly. Hed been coming in for coffee and a doughnut every morning since hed arrived, and no one had said much of anything to him.
The same people were there every morning, too. Some businessman who drank his coffee and shared his company with the financial section of the newspaper. A lady who came in wearing tennis shoes and walked out in high heels.
Trey sat at the counter, sipping his coffee and watching the short-order cook, a rotund fellow with a prickly disposition, fry an order of hash browns. A waitress who looked to be in her forties bustled around refilling coffee.
Actually, Trey realized, he wasnt in the mood for company this morning. He had some heavy-duty thinking to do.
Twice hed asked Jenny to leave New York and come back to Montana with him. Twice shed told him no. The time had come for him to play his trump card, give her some incentive to return to Custer.
He planned to ask her to be his wife.
Generally when a man proposed to a woman he was fairly confident of her response. Trey figured his chances with Jenny were less than fifty-fifty. Although hed worked hard to build up his herd, he didnt have a whole lot in the way of material wealth to offer her. A few hundred head of cattle, a run-down house that badly needed a womans touch. And a heart so full of love that he nearly burst wide open every time he thought of Jenny and himself raising a family together.
Trey was a realist, and he was well aware that he couldnt compete with the bright lights of Broadway. He didnt have any diamond ring to offer her, either. Not yet.
The fact was, he hadnt thought about asking Jenny to marry him until after theyd kissed that first time. Hed always dreamed it would be like that with them, but the reality had knocked him for a loop. Jennys kisses gave him hope that she might harbor some tenderness for him.
Never having proposed to a woman before, Trey had no idea how to go about it. Did a man of the nineties get down on one knee? Should he remove his hat and place it over his heart? None of those things sounded right to him. But since he was asking Jenny the most important question of his life, he didnt figure he should do it without showing some semblance of respect.
On impulse, Trey slipped off the stool and looked around the doughnut shop. The place held the same five or six people who frequented the place every morning.
Can I have your attention, please, he said in a loud voice.
The businessman lowered the newspaper. The cook turned around, the spatula raised in one hand.
My names Trey LaRue, he said. Ive been having coffee here every morning since I arrived in this city, and it seems time I introduced myself. I take it you folks all know each other.
The five other customers stared back blankly.
You dont know each other?
No. It was the woman with one high heel and one tennis shoe.
Well then, dont you think its time you introduced yourselves to one another? Im Trey, and Im visiting from Montana.
Hello, Trey, the waitress responded. Im Trixie.
Im Bob, and Im in advertising.
Im Mary Lou, and Im an assistant editor at a publishing house. She waved one shoe in greeting.
The others went around the compact space and introduced themselves and told what they did for a living. Trey acknowledged each one with a brisk nod.
What brings you to New York? The question came from the cook, whose name was Steve.
I came to ask a special woman to be my wife.
Has she agreed? This came from his editor friend.
Not yet. He splayed his fingers through his hair, feeling less confident about his decision. The fact is, I havent asked her yet. Im not exactly sure how to go about it.
Just come right out and ask her, Bob advised.
But wine and dine her, was Trixies advice.
Yeah, Bob teased, get her good and soused first.
Mary Lou shook her head slowly. Dont you listen to any of that. You tell that young woman whats in your heart. Thats all you need to do, and if she feels as strongly about you as you do about her, nothing else will be necessary.
I shouldnt take her to a fancy dinner, then? Trey asked. His newfound friends confused him more than they helped.
Dinner and champagne wont hurt, Trixie assured him, but Mary Lous right. Just tell this special lady whats in your heart and go from there.
That sounded like a lot less trouble than getting down on one knee, Trey decided.
You might try singing to her.
Everyone turned to stare at Steve, Trey included. As far as Trey was concerned, there were certain things a man didnt do, and break into song was one of them. One of Jennys male friends might consider that, but not him.
Women like romance, and there aint nothing more romantic than to sing. You dont even have to have that great a voice, Steve added, a cigarette hanging from the side of his mouth.
I wont be doing any singing, Trey said emphatically.
You love her, dont you? Steve smashed the cigarette into an ashtray.
Yeah.
Then romance her.
Hes right about that, the assistant editor acknowledged. There isnt a woman alive who doesnt want to be courted by the man she loves.
Singing was out of the question, but there were other ways to prove he was as tenderhearted as the men shed dated in the big city. What about flowers and chocolates?
Only the day before, Trey had walked into one of those fancy sweet shops by accident. Hed been blown away at the prices. Why, a man could feed a horse for a month on what they wanted for a box of chocolates! French ones.
Mary Lou shook her head. Be more imaginative than that.
Jenny loves those fat bagels vendors sell on the street corners here, he said, thinking out loud.
You cant woo a woman with bagels, the guy in advertising insisted. He folded the newspaper and tucked it under his arm. Ive got to get to the office. Youll let us know what happens, wont you?
Sure thing, Trey promised. He checked his watch. It was early yet. Jenny would still be sleeping, but hed told her hed be by to pick her up this morning. She wanted to take him up to the top of the World Trade Center.
Trey left some change on the counter. I appreciate the advice, he told his newfound friends.
Good luck, Trixie said with a smile.
If hes getting married, hell need it, the short-order cook teased, then laughed when Trixie swatted him across the backside with a dishrag.
An hour later Trey stood outside Jennys apartment complex. He paced the sidewalk in front of her building, rehearsing in his mind what he wanted to say. It took another ten minutes before hed gathered up enough gumption to go inside.
Hed no sooner knocked than the door flew open and there was Jenny, standing on the other side. When she saw him, her face lit up with a smile as bright as a July sun. As long as he lived, hed never grow weary of seeing Jenny smile.
Mornin, he greeted her, touching the edge of his hat in a genteel salute.
Oh, Trey, youll never guess what.
Before he could prepare himself, she leapt into his arms. Whatever it was that brought Jenny this close must be good, he thought.
Irene phoned this morning!
Irenes your agent, right?
Right. Then, not giving him an opportunity to ask anything more, she blurted out, John Peterman phoned and asked if she had an audio of me.
Trey didnt know who this John Peterman was, but he was fairly certain he wasnt going to like the other man.

As soon as she could, Hannah left the deli to find Joshua. If she explained how shed been pressured into setting a wedding date, surely hed understand. Surely hed be sympathetic and willing to listen to reason.
The angry, pained look in his eyes haunted her, especially knowing that she was responsible for putting it there. Joshua didnt deserve to be treated as if she were ashamed of loving him. Yet she could find no fair way out of this dilemma.
Her first stop was at Joshuas office. When he wasnt there, she didnt know what to do. Depressed and miserable, she started walking, barely aware of her destination. She was unconscious of the street sounds, the people who moved crisply past her; all she could think to do was walk.
She appreciated Joshuas feelings. If the situation were reversed, shed feel the same way. Joshua was an honorable man, and it went against his grain to be involved with a woman engaged to another man. Nor was he comfortable meeting her without her parents knowledge.
Hannah didnt like that aspect of their relationship, either, but for now it couldnt be helped. She didnt want to break the engagement with Carl until this matter with the school had been cleared up.
Suddenly aware of her surroundings, Hannah realized she was close to her grandmothers apartment.
Sylvias tired eyes brightened when she opened the door. Hannah, my dear, this is a pleasant surprise!
Hannah kissed her grandmothers cheek.
I just brewed myself a pot of tea. Join me, please.
Id love some tea. Hannah followed her grandmother into the kitchen, then carried the tray with two dainty china cups into the living room.
Hannah loved this room, with its personal touches. An end table with a small clock that had been in the family for close to a hundred years. Antique photographs. Hand-crocheted doilies. An array of family photos lining the fireplace mantel.
Hannahs favorite picture was one of her grandfather taken when he was a young man recently emigrated to America. Another favorite was of her father as a youngster, less than ten years of age.
Sit, Sylvia instructed after settling herself in the oak rocker she loved. She took a sip of tea, then held the delicate china cup with both hands. Actually, I wondered when youd come. Ive been waiting, you know.
Waiting for me? Hannah turned from the familiar photographs and met her grandmothers keen eyes.
I know you far too well not to recognize when something is bothering you.
Hannah lowered her gaze. She didnt bother to deny that she was troubled. Nor was she surprised that her grandmother had guessed. She suspected Sylvia had known her true feelings from the moment shed introduced Carl.
You look tired, Hannah.
She was unbelievably so. But the bone weariness that drained her energy had little to do with the long hours she worked at the deli or the number of customers she served. It was a fatigue of the heart, of pretending to love Carl, of giving the impression that she was happy.
You dont need to tell me anything you dont feel comfortable sharing. Her grandmothers tone was loving and tender. Just sit with me a spell and soak in the silence. I dont know how a person can sort everything out unless they can hear themselves think.
Sylvia swayed gently in the oak rocker and sipped her tea. A soft creaking noise eked up from the hardwood floor beneath the braided rug.
Its about Carl and me, Hannah said after a long while. She stood and walked over to the fireplace, where a gentle flame flickered over the logs. After running her hand against the top of the mantel, she turned and faced her grandmother.
I guessed all this involved Carl.
Hannah smiled to herself, appreciating Sylvias insight. She sat on the braided rug next to her grandmother. Sylvias hand stroked the top of Hannahs head.
Ive been praying for you for a good many years, Hannah. Long before you were born, I asked God if He would see fit to give my son a child, and He gave us you.
It was a story Hannah had heard often. Her childless parents had longed desperately for a baby. The doctors had told them it would take a miracle.
Like Hannah in the story of Samuel, a familiar one in the Bible, her mother and family had prayed diligently for a child. Samuels mother, like her own, had wept and pleaded with God in the temple with such anguish that Eli, the priest, had assumed she was drunk. When she spoke of her longing for a son, Eli had assured her that God had heard her prayer and that in a years time she would have a son.
After nearly twenty years of marriage, Ruth had conceived, and the Morganstern family had rejoiced. When David learned his wife was pregnant, hed been the one to decide on his daughters name. Hannah had been named after Elkanahs wife, whose faith had been richly rewarded.
All her life Hannah had been loved and cherished. That was what made disappointing her family so difficult.
Through the years, I have continued to pray for you, Sylvia went on. As you entered your teen years, I added your husband to my list.
My husband?
The man you would marry. It seemed to me that God in his almighty wisdom would choose an extraordinary man for you. A man of character, a man of wisdom and discernment. A man who would love you with all his heart.
Her grandmothers gentle words caused Hannahs throat to thicken with tears. I dont love Carl, she whispered brokenly.
Sylvias hand didnt pause as she continued to stroke Hannahs crown. I realized that almost immediately. Youve met someone else, havent you?
Yes, and Grandma, hes a good man, just the way you say. I cant tell you how fortunate I feel to even know him. I love him so much that it frightens me.... Im so afraid Im going to lose him.
He loves you?
Hannah nodded. The knowledge should have filled her with an incredible sense of wonder that a man as wonderful as Joshua would care for her.
Then why would you lose him? her grandmother questioned.
Because of Carl.
It was as if Sylvia had forgotten Hannah were engaged to the other man. Ah yes, Carl.
Carls a good man, Hannah whispered. She didnt want to hurt him, either.
Carls a fine young man, but hes not the one for you.
Joshua is. There was no doubt in Hannahs mind about that.
Joshua, Sylvia repeated slowly, as if testing the name on her tongue. She shook her head once and said decisively, If you love him the way you claim, then you have nothing to fear.
But everyone expects me to marry Carl. You saw what happened, how we were pressured into setting a date for the wedding.
Her grandmother said nothing, which increased Hannahs guilt.
I wanted to break the engagement, Hannah said all at once, running the words together. She didnt think it was fair to tell her grandmother that Carl had recently lost his job; the fewer who knew, the better. The best way to handle it was to be diplomatic, she decided.
This is a bad time for Carl, she offered. Hes under a lot of pressure right now. I wanted to tell him about meeting Joshua. Ive triedhonest, I havebut something always happens. For a long time I figured that it was too late for Joshua and me. I even tried not to see him again.
That wouldnt have worked.
Hannah glanced up at her grandmother, wondering at the strength and conviction in the older womans words.
You and Joshua were meant to be together, Sylvia elaborated.
Hannah rested her head against her grandmothers knee. Joshua came into the deli this afternoon.
David knows him?
Hes a frequent customer.
Then he knows good food when he tastes it.
Hannah smiled.
Tell me what happened, Sylvia encouraged.
Joshua wanted to talk to me, but it was impossible there. Im sure he was about to suggest that we meet elsewhereweve done it beforebut he didnt get the chance.
Somehow Joshua and Dad got involved in a conversation, and then Dad told him that Carl and I had set the wedding date. He actually invited Joshua to the wedding.
Her grandmother sighed heavily. I dont imagine Joshua was pleased.
He looked so hurt. That was the only way she could think to describe the anguish shed witnessed in Joshuas eyes. He congratulated me, and before I had a chance to explain, he left the deli. I got away as soon as I could and hurried to his office, but he wasnt there and his secretary couldnt tell me when hed be back. Ive got to talk to him. She squeezed her eyes shut, berating herself silently.
What would you have said if he had been at his office? her grandmother questioned.
I longed to explain how Carl and I had been coerced into picking a date for the wedding.
Do you think that was what he wanted to hear?
No, Hannah murmured miserably. He wants to hear that Ive told Carl about us. He needs to know that Ive broken off the engagement, and that my familys been told that I wont be marrying Carl.
My guess is that hed be willing to speak to your parents with you.
Hannah dreaded telling her parents most. Shed never considered having Joshua stand with her and immediately knew that he would want to be there. Hed never ask her to confront her family alone.
With an energy that had escaped her earlier, she leapt to her feet. Ive got to talk to him.
Joshua? her grandmother asked.
No, Carl. I cant worry about his feelings any longer. He doesnt need me to hold his hand.
Good girl. Her grandmothers face beamed with pride.
Joshua is the man I love, he deserves my loyalty. As soon as Ive talked to Carl, Ill speak to Joshua.
Sylvia looked well pleased. That, my dear, sounds like a plan.

The anger inside Roberto simmered just below the exploding point. His patience was gone, his temper unreasonable, his mood black. Hed probably offended every customer hed dealt with in the last couple of days. Matters would improve drastically, he realized, if he could stop thinking about Brynn. But that seemed impossible.
He wished to hell shed leave. Pack her bags, hand in her resignation, and go back where she belonged. Because she sure as hell didnt fit in this neighborhood. A delicate, beautiful rosebud among thistles.
The only way to convince her he wanted nothing more to do with her was to shove her out of his life. His chest ached with a crippling tightness for all that hed lost. He hadnt meant to do it then and there, but shed forced his actions, coming to him the way she had.
Modestos injuries had convinced him of the terrible risk Brynn was taking working in this neighborhood. She was an easy target. Too easy. She refused to listen to reason and defied him at every turn. Fine. She could do as she damn well pleased, but he would have no part of it. Or her.
If she wanted to sacrifice herself over a bunch of screwy, idealistic goals, so be it. But he wasnt standing by idly to watch her fall on her face. Nor would he be there to pick up the pieces.
For her own good, she had to leave this neighborhood, and she wouldnt as long as he encouraged her to remain. That was exactly what their relationship was doing.
It was over, and nothing would change his mind. Not this time. Not with Modesto in the hospital, a bullet hole in his chest, and his brother screaming with nightmares.
Roberto heard a movement behind him and glanced over his shoulder to find Emilio standing just inside the garage.
You gonna bite my head off? Emilio asked.
That depends on what you want.
Nothing.
Then what are you doing here? Roberto threw a wrench toward the work bench. It landed with a discordant clanking sound. He never abused his tools, but then there was a first time for everything. A first time to fall in love. A first time to turn his back and run from what he wanted most.
Im bored, Emilio confessed. I thought itd be fun to stay home.
Then go back to school, Roberto said without emotion. He hadnt changed his mind about education, but he was willing to agree that Brynn might have a point. For a long time hed thought Emilio would work with him at the garage. He could teach his brother, and the two of them could be partners. But Emilio didnt have the knack for working on cars. He liked people, liked being around them.
I dont want to go to school, his brother confessed, walking all the way into the garage. He planted the tips of his fingers in his jeans pockets. This was the stance he chose when he had something to hide. His brother tended to be transparent about such things, and frankly, Roberto was grateful.
Unwilling to reveal he knew something was amiss, Roberto continued to work on the car, removing the carburetor from an engine. I thought you liked your classes.
Emilio shrugged. The best are the ones Miss Cassidy teaches. She makes learning fun, but she isnt an easy teacher. Sometimes after school me and the others talk about her.
Roberto stiffened, then asked nonchalantly, What do you have to say? Emilio and the other boys in the class werent blind. Brynn was as beautiful as she was naive.
She talks about things that make a person think, about war and prejudice, and stuff like that. Just about every day she gives us a writing assignment and then has us read what we wrote and talk about it.
Like what?
Emilios eyes brightened as he spoke. Were reading this book about Anne Frank. She was this Jewish girl, who
I know who Anne Frank is.
You do? This appeared to impress Emilio. Well, Miss Cassidy asked us to pretend we were the ones in hiding. To share this compact space with another family, to live in constant fear of discovery.
And?
And we did, and then she had some of us read what wed written, and I was surprised, you know, by how she tied it in to whats going on in our world today. Social issues and that sort of thing. The guys and me sometimes talk about the same things we did in class. I dont do that with any of my other subjects.
Shes a good teacher, then.
The best Ive ever had.
That did and didnt surprise Roberto. He knew Brynn was popular with the kids, but that didnt say much about her ability to teach a class.
Then go back, Roberto said as though it should be an easy decision. He never did understand Emilios sudden desire to quit. The teenager certainly wasnt any help here at the garage, mooning around, looking miserable. Everything hed asked Emilio to do thus far, with the exception of errands, hed had to do over.
I cant.
His brothers low, trembling voice caused Roberto to look up. Why cant you?
Emilio shrugged.
If you like school, then go.
Im not going back, Emilio insisted with a ring of rebellion.
Roberto frowned and gave Emilio his full attention. Something was very wrong. First you said you cant go back, and now youre telling me you wont? Which is it?
Emilio looked decidedly uncomfortable. Both.
Leaning against the work bench, Roberto crossed his arms. Youd better explain that.
Emilio took a short stroll around the garage. I cant go back because ... He hesitated.
Because why? Roberto pressed.
Emilio whirled around, his eyes flashing with open defiance. Because Im embarrassed, thats why.
Embarrassed about what? He hadnt a clue what his brother could possibly have done that would cause this reaction.
I made a fool of myself in front of Miss Cassidy. He admitted this between clenched teeth, as if to say that was all he was willing to admit.
Roberto snickered and shook his head. Emilio wasnt the only one to play the fool when it came to dealing with the beautiful redhead. All at once it dawned on him that Emilio might have fallen in love with her, too.
His brother seemed to read Robertos thoughts. Its not what you think, he snapped. Shes your woman, not mine.
Roberto returned to the carburetor rather than look his brother in the eye. Shes not mine, either, he said forcefully, and thats the way I want it. The less you say about it the better. Understand?
Emilio didnt say anything, but Roberto felt his brothers scrutiny. He regretted having said this much, but Emilio would have figured it out sooner or later.
Now get your butt over to school.
Emilio didnt budge. Why is it so hellfire important for me to get an education? I thought you said it was a waste of time. What changed your mind?
The last thing Roberto wanted was to be dragged into an argument over the pros and cons of education. You changed my mind. I gained nothing in high school, least of all a decent education. But its different for you. Now dont make me embarrass you further by dragging you back.
Emilio hesitated, as though he didnt know what to do. Youd do it, too.
Roberto grinned. Dont doubt it. Now get your sorry ass over there.
Im going to tell Miss Cassidy you forced me to come.
Fine, tell her. Hed rather Emilio didnt mention his name, but he wouldnt give his brother something to hold over him, either. Swallowing his pride was a small gift he could give the two people he loved most in this world. His brother would have his education, and Brynn would have the pleasure of knowing that hed changed his mind about school.
The decision made, Emilio disappeared.
Roberto heard the door slam and paused long enough to look out the window to see Emilio racing down the street, kicking up his heels in his eagerness to get back to school.
It didnt seem an hour had passed before Emilio was back. He looked more like his usual self than he had over the last couple of days, loitering around the shop, disgruntled and miserable.
I thought you went back to school, Roberto said with a scowl.
I did go back. Schools over.
Roberto glanced at the clock above the door. Emilio was right.
A couple of the guys are waiting for me. Were going to visit Modesto. He can have company now, and we thought wed see if we could find any good-looking nurses.
Then what are you doing here?
I got a message for you from Miss Cassidy.
Roberto steeled himself. He didnt want to play any games, notes back and forth, that sort of thing. It was over, and the sooner she accepted it, the better. I dont want it, he said forcefully.
It?
The note or whatever it is she gave you.
She didnt give me anything. She just wanted me to tell you something.
Fine, he said stiffly, tell me.
She said thank you.
For what?
Emilios look told him the answer to that should have been obvious. For me coming back to school. I told her you were the one who insisted I did, and she got all teary-eyed and asked me to tell you she appreciated that.
The pain in Robertos chest tightened. Youve told me, now get out of here. Ive got work to do.

Sixteen
Jenny didnt know what to think about Trey. He hadnt been himself for nearly two days. Shed spent as much time with him as her schedule would allow, but that was only an hour or two each day. Perhaps he was disappointed in her.
Shed taken him to all the tourist spots. Only recently theyd been up to the top of the World Trade Center and to the United Nations building.
By nature Trey was a man of few words, but hed been less communicative than usual the last couple of days. That worried her.
Are there any other sights you want to see? Jenny asked as they strolled lazily through Central Park, feeding the birds.
I cant say that there are, Trey said, tossing birdseed to a flock of people-friendly pigeons. Others flew over instantly from a variety of directions, looking for a handout. Their wings made a ruffling sound that carried with the wind.
Jenny tossed a fistful of seeds and laughed at the way the silver birds battled over the goodies.
I was thinking maybe we could go to dinner this evening, Trey said unexpectedly.
Dinner, Jenny repeated. Shed promised Michelle they would have their own small Christmas that evening, since her friend would soon be heading home for the holidays. Jennys schedule at the restaurant had changed a number of times with other girls needing time away. Shed worked all the extra hours she could. The only night shed been free in nearly two weeks had been the evening of the Christmas potluck. Surely Michelle would understand.
Ill need to check with Michelle first. She didnt tell Trey the reason, because another, more intrusive thought immediately came to mind.
Trey was going back to Montana.
Dinner would be his way of telling her good-bye. An empty feeling, one that chilled her heart, came so swiftly it felt as if someone had slapped her viciously across the back.
Whens your flight? she asked point-blank.
Trey didnt answer her right away, and she thought he might not have heard her. Two days time.
So she was right.
I cant stay any longer, Jenny. Id like to, but Ive got a herd of cattle to worry about, and I cant leave Pete alone much longer.
I understand. If anyone could appreciate his need to return, it was she. After all, she was a ranchers daughter. That Trey had stayed in New York this long was something of a surprise. Just when she was growing accustomed to having him with her. Just when her heart felt whole again. He was going to leave her. Maybe youll be able to visit again soon, she said, fighting to disguise the ache in her heart. Next time. The only way she could deal with his leaving was to look into the future and the promise of his return.
The birdseed gone, Jenny experienced the need to sit down. She walked over and sank onto a park bench.
Trey joined her. When will you be able to talk to Michelle?
For a moment Jenny didnt know what he was talking about. Soon, she said, and then remembered Trey had asked her to dinner. A fond farewell dinner. A gee, but its been swell good-bye dinner.
Her stomach clenched, then tied itself into a knot that tightened with each breath. As the ache intensified, Jenny realized how much she wanted Trey to stay. How much she needed him in her life.
Sitting on the edge of the park bench, her hands buried deep in her coat pockets, Jenny tried to compose herself, fearing shed embarrass them both by breaking into tears.
Jenny
Michelles at the apartment now. We can go ask her, she suggested cheerfully. That she could fool Trey into thinking nothing was amiss was a testament to how truly talented an actress she was.
Michelles there now?
Jenny checked her watch. If not, she will be any minute. Why dont we go back to the apartment? Its about lunchtime anyway. I can fix you a sandwich. I make an excellent peanut butter and jelly.
He didnt answer her right away. If thats what you want.
Sure, she said, rushing to her feet as though tickled pink to return to her small, cramped apartment and slap together two pieces of bread.
It didnt escape Jennys notice that Trey didnt speak a single word on the way home. Perhaps it was the subway, which she knew confused him; it had her in the beginning, too, but now she was a pro when it came to finding her way around the city. Of course she didnt take it at night, and never when she was alone.
She unlocked the apartment door and stepped inside.
It doesnt look like Michelles back, Trey murmured.
Shell be here any time, Jenny said confidently. Now that she was home, in familiar surroundings, she didnt know how much longer shed be able to keep up the pretense. The tightening, empty feeling in the pit of her stomach had spread to her heart and her throat. Tears threatened to spill down her cheeks.
Make yourself comfortable and Ill get you a sandwich, she said, eager for an excuse to leave him. She needed this time to compose herself, to figure out how she was going to see him off and do it with a smile. No one was that good an actress.
Im not hungry.
You will be soon enough, she said, hoping she sounded enthusiastic. If you dont want it, Ill eat it later. She walked into the kitchen and braced her hands against the kitchen sink and closed her eyes. Inhaling deep breaths didnt seem to help.
Trey was going back to Montana, where he belongedwhere she belonged, too. Only she was too proud to admit it, too stubborn to throw in the towel. For three years shed given all that she had, looking for a chance to prove herself. All that effort, all her talent, had gotten her was a job as a singing waitress in a two-star restaurant.
Leaning forward, she propped her elbows on the kitchen counter and pushed the hair away from her forehead. She tried taking in short breaths, followed by deep ones. Nothing seemed to help.
Damn it all, she was going to cry. Trey would see, and then hed want to know what was wrong. She didnt know what she would tell him.
If Michelle came home, perhaps her friend could distract him until Jenny had collected herself.
She felt the first tears slip from the corners of her eyes. Shed held them back for so long that it was as if a dam had burst inside her. The tears marked more than Treys return home. They represented the frustration, the disappointment, of three hard years of her life. Three long, fruitless years.
Jenny, is something wrong? Trey stood directly behind her. She could feel the warmth of his body so close to her own.
Im fine, she answered in a strained voice. She straightened, wiped the telltale moisture from her face, and reached toward the bread box.
You dont sound fine. Turn around. His hand fell gently on her shoulder.
She might have been able to pull it off if he hadnt been so tender with her. The moment he touched her, she knew she was lost. The sob was a painful tightening in her chest that worked its way up to her throat.
She turned in his arms and let his torso muffle her cry. Her shoulders shook as he wrapped her in his embrace.
Jenny, my heaven, what is it?
She didnt answer him; she couldnt.
His hand stroked her hair, and Jenny was confident he had no idea what to do with her. She feared her tears embarrassed him as much as they did her.
Oh my, she said, breaking away from him. She smeared the traces of tears away from her cheeks and from some hidden reserve of strength offered him an apologetic smile. I wonder what that was all about.
Trey didnt respond. Instead he tucked his finger beneath her chin and lowered his mouth to hers. Theyd kissed before, and the hot sensation between them had shocked Jenny. He kissed her again and again, each kiss gaining in intensity and momentum until she was struggling for control.
Jenny, sweet Jenny, he whispered, his voice husky and low. I dont think you know what kissing you does to me.
I do know, because you do the same thing to me. She ran her tongue along the underside of his jaw and felt his body tense against hers. Shed never experienced such a powerful sense of control over a man.
He cupped her face between his hands for another deep, breath-stealing kiss.
Tell me why you were crying, he whispered.
Jenny closed her eyes. Her hands bit into the material of his shirt, her hold so tight that her fingers lost feeling. I ... Im going to miss you, Trey.
He stiffened, and she wondered if shed said something wrong. You dont need to worry, she hurried to assure him. Im a big girl, really.
He led her into the living room and sat her down in the chair, then he started moving around as though he needed to sit himself but couldnt find an available seat.
Trey?
He held out his hand. Ive got something to ask you. I was going to wait until tonight at dinner, but now seems as good a time as any.
Ask me what?
He looked decidedly uncomfortable. Im not sure how to do this. Ive never done it before, and hellhe paused and dragged a deep breath through his lungsI damn well never plan to do it again.
Youve never done what?
Propose, he snapped, then seemed to realize what hed said. He ceased his roaming and stood directly in front of her. I love you, Jenny Lancaster. Ive loved you from the time you were fifteen years old....
Fifteen? But you never let on ... you never told me.
He frowned. If Id said anything, your father would have had me arrested, as well he should have. I never wanted you to leave Montana, but you deserved your chance. Youve had it, and now its time to come home. With me, with the promise youll be my wife. His eyes grew dark and serious as he got down on one knee in front of her. Come home with me, Jenny. Marry me, and mother my children. I dont have a lot to offer you, except a heart that will always be yours.
Jenny was too stunned to respond. She pressed her hand over her mouth and battled down a fresh batch of emotion.
The front door opened and Trey stood up abruptly and, irritated, glanced over his shoulder.
Hello, everyone, Michelle greeted as she whirled into the room like a prairie dust storm. She hesitated and looked from Trey and Jenny. Im not disrupting anything, am I?
Yes, Trey answered before Jenny could.
Oh, sorry. Do you want me to discreetly disappear for a few moments?
That would be much appreciated. Again it was Trey who responded.
Michelle had just started to tiptoe from the room when the telephone rang. Ill get it, she said, and then tossed Trey an apologetic look. Ive been waiting for a call all week.
Trey rubbed his hand along the back of his neck and gave her an impatient nod.
Michelle answered on the second ring, and her gaze swiveled automatically toward Jenny. She placed her hand over the mouthpiece. Its for you.
Me? Jenny asked.
Its Irene.
Jenny leapt off the sofa and hurried to the phone. Irene, she said eagerly, unable to hide her delight. When her agent phoned it was generally with good news.
Jenny. Irene sounded excited. I just got off the phone with John Peterman. Hes wants you for the second lead in his new play. This is it, kiddo. All your hard work has finally paid off. We couldnt ask for better money or better terms. Youre on your way now.
Dumbstruck, Jenny listened while Irene relayed the details of her contract. When her agent had finished, Jenny replaced the receiver and turned to Michelle, who stood beside her expectantly.
I got the second lead, she whispered, her voice revealing the extent of her shock. John Peterman wants me.
Michelle let out a wild scream and hugged her enthusiastically. Then the two of them did a dance about the room, laughing, crying, their joy spilling over like champagne poured too fast from the bottle.
A good five minutes passed before Jenny remembered Trey, and then she couldnt find him.
Whered he go? Jenny asked her roommate.
Michelle gave her a blank look. I dont know. He must have left.

The minute Brynn walked into the school she knew something was very wrong. One of the secretaries sat at her desk, weeping silently. A handful of teachers stood in the corner of the office, talking in whispers. The tension in the room was thick enough to slice and butter.
Not knowing what was wrong, Brynn walked over to her cubicle and cleared out the space. As she suspected, there were a number of printed sheets detailing information about the winter break. The teachers Christmas party was scheduled for that evening. Since her surname began with a C, she was responsible for supplying a main dish. Another paper detailed the period schedule for the last day.
Brynn slipped the papers into her bag. A white envelope fluttered from her space and landed on the floor. It was addressed to her personally, and she wondered who had put it there. On closer inspection, she realized the handwriting was familiar. It took a moment to recognize it was from Mike Glasser.
Did you hear? Doug Keast asked as he reached for his own papers.
Hear about what? Brynn had never been particularly fond of Doug. Not since the day hed been so eager to have Emilio hauled off to the office. She had no problem with the schools policy regarding fighting, but she questioned the other teachers attitude. It seemed Doug had welcomed the opportunity to see Emilio expelled.
Mike Glasser.
What about him? she asked.
He blew his brains out. Doug pointed his finger to his temple and pulled an imaginary trigger. His mother found him late yesterday afternoon. Doug hesitated. Say, isnt he one of the kids in your program?
Mike, dead? A suicide? It was as if Doug had pulled the floor out from under her. The information came at her like a fist in the dark.
Brynn gasped and slumped against the wall. It demanded every ounce of strength she possessed to remain upright. Involuntarily she started to hyperventilate, and she reached out and grabbed hold of the back of a chair.
Brynn? Dougs arm came around her. Here, sit down. Do you need something?
Water. Could you please get me a glass of water? A shocking, total numbness shrouded her.
Of course. Listen, Im sorry. Doug steered her to a table and sat her down. I guess I shouldnt have told you like that. His voice was full of apology.
Brynn was too numb to respond.
Dead. Mike, the young man shed tried so hard to reach, was dead. There would be no more tomorrows. No dreams for Mike. No future.
The letter. Mike had written her a letter. A suicide note. No. No, please, please no. Had he written it to her as a desperate cry for help? Dear God, please no. She hadnt collected her messages in two days.
Her hands shook so badly that Brynn was barely able to retrieve the long white envelope from inside her bag. She ripped it open and pulled out a single sheet.

Miss Cassidy, 

By the time you read this, Ill be dead. Im not going to go into the reasons why Im doing this because that wouldnt solve anything. For me death is the only solution. This is what I want. Life is simply too fucking painful. 
I imagine youre wondering why Im writing you. 
Theres someone I care about, and shes going to take this hard. I dont know anyone who can help Suzie through this, except maybe you. 
Suzies the best thing that ever happened to me, and I love her. She tried to help me, but she couldnt. No one could. 
My dad killed himself when I was a kid. I used to get upset about it, but now I understand why he did it. Dying is easier than living. 

Unable to continue because her eyes had blurred with tears, Brynn paused long enough to search for a tissue, then returned to Mikes letter.

You dont owe me any favors, but I know you like Suzie. 
Talk to her for me, would you? Tell her Im sorry. Tell her ... Shit, youll know what to say. It isnt her fault. Its no ones fault. Not Suzies. Not yours. Not mine. Its better this way for everyone. 
I know I dont have any right to lay this on you, but theres no one else I trust. If you would, Id appreciate it if you said something to my mother, too. Youre good with words and youll know what to tell her. 
Since this is the last thing Ill ever write, theres something Id like to know. I wish I could have traded places with Anne Frank. She wanted to live, when all I could think about was dying. Youre a good teacher, Miss Cassidy. You made me care. 
Mike 

Doug Keast returned with a paper cup filled with water. Brynn thanked him with a brisk nod as she folded the letter and placed it back inside the envelope.
Are you sure youre all right? he asked.
Brynn nodded. She wanted nothing more to do with Doug Keast and was grateful when the first bell rang.
Brynn, her fellow teacher pressed, do you want me to call someone? You dont look so good.
Ill be fine. But she wouldnt be. It would be a long while before she would feel right again. Brynn couldnt keep from thinking that she should have known something was wrong. She should have been able to reach Mike. Should have realized the depth of his despair.
And Suzie. Poor Suzie. Brynn was certain the teenager had never told Mike she was pregnant. Suzie had loved him and tried to protect him. Mike had loved her enough to ask Brynn to help her through her grief. Brynn didnt know what she could possibly say that would comfort Suzie and Mikes mother.
By some miracle, she made it through the morning, teaching by rote. Not everyone had heard about Mikes death, but then only a handful of her morning students knew him.
At lunchtime, still numb, still in shock, Brynn returned to the office to ask about Suzie Chang. As she suspected, Suzie was absent. She wrote down Suzies home address, tucked it inside her pocket, and returned to her classroom.
Her heart ached. Her body ached, and she wondered if she would emotionally survive this day. The burden of explaining and comforting seemed beyond her.
When it was time for her afternoon class, Brynn sat at her desk. One by one, her students paraded single file past her. Mikes desk in the center of the room sat empty. Brynn found she couldnt look at it without experiencing a tremendous sense of loss.
Everyone appeared to be watching her, waiting for her to say something. Brynn walked to the front of the room. The silence was deafening.
By now Im sure youve all heard about Mike, she said, and was shocked at how thin her voice had become. She struggled with her composure. Talking about it might do us all some good. Perhaps you can help me understand why Mike would take his own life?
Its stupid, Pearl Washington said.
But Mike wasnt stupid, Brynn insisted. When I could get him to express his feelings, I found his essays to be full of insight. She realized as she spoke how dark his writing was, how bleakly he saw the world. Then and now. Guilt swamped her senses. She should have seen it coming, should have realized how much pain he was in.
He should have told someone, Emilio suggested.
Who? Brynn asked. Told them what?
We werent exactly his friends, Yolanda reminded everyone sadly.
He didnt want no friends, Denzil insisted.
Okay, so he wasnt Mr. Personality, but he wasnt so bad, you know.
Are you sorry hes dead? Brynn asked.
A chorus of regrets chimed back, and Brynn knew that the class was suffering just as she was. Mike had asked her to talk to Suzie, to help Suzie. What he hadnt realized was that they were all going to need help dealing with his death.
He never let on, you know? someone complained.
I dont think he knew how to share his pain, Brynn suggested.
Yolanda started to cry. It makes me mad.
What does? Brynn questioned, struggling not to weep herself.
That he didnt give any of us a chance to tell him goodbye. When Modesto was shot it was bad, but this is worse because I feel like there was something I should have done, something I should have said. Maybe if Id been friendlier, it would have helped.
I dont think any of us had a clue how much emotional pain Mike was in, Brynn told them solemnly. Death was obviously something Mike had been entertaining for a long time. It was wrong, and now each one of us is left with recriminations.
Brynn paused at the sharp pain in her chest. I cant blame Mike, but I wish Id known how much he was hurting. I might have been able to help him. Like Yolanda said, we never got a chance to say good-bye.
I want to get in his face and make him listen to reason, one of the girls shouted. Hes hurt so many people.
He was in pain himself.
I wish I could talk to him.
You can, Brynn whispered.
But how? Denzil asked. It isnt like we can write him a letter.
Why cant we? Brynn asked, remembering how much writing had helped her deal with the death of her beloved grandmother five years earlier. Its true Mike wont be reading it, but writing Mike might help each of us deal with the shock of what he did.
Miss Cassidys right.
Binders opened and spiral notebooks appeared as her students automatically reached for a fresh piece of paper. They did this without Brynn so much as asking.
The remainder of the time was spent writing Mike. Brynn wrote her own letter and found herself struggling to hold in the emotion as she placed feelings of doubt on the page. When she glanced up, she found several of her students were weeping.
Afterward, those who were willing read their letters aloud.
Emilio volunteered first. Looking shaken but determined, he faced the class. Mike, dont do it, man. Dont do it. Then he slid back onto his seat.
Pearl stood beside her desk. Why do I hurt so bad? I barely knew you, and yet I feel some responsibility for your death. You sat three desks away from me. Three desks and you couldnt reach that far? Three desks and I couldnt see your pain? Im sorry, Mike. Forgive me.
Yolanda, tears streaming down her face, volunteered next. Thank you, Mike, for what you taught me. I wasnt your friend, but I wish I had been. I never took the time to talk to you. But you touched my life. Never again will I sit in a classroom and not look around me. I wish Id known how much pain you were in. Id like to think you would have told me had I asked. Only I never asked. Next time will be different. Next time Im going to look.
When the bell rang her class filed out of the room with little of the enthusiasm they generally showed at the end of a day.
Will you find out about Mikes funeral? Emilio asked.
The other kids stopped and waited for Brynn to respond.
We want to know, Yolanda said.
I think it would help if we went.
There was a chorus of agreement.
You were the only friends Mike had, Brynn said.
Its too bad we didnt do a better job of it, Yolanda said just loudly enough for Brynn to hear.
Brynn left the school as soon as she could. She had Suzies address with her and walked over to the teenagers apartment. The girls mother greeted her at the door and was painfully polite as she ushered Brynn into the living room.
Is Suzie home? Brynn asked.
No. She with Mikes mother.
Brynn studied the delicate Chinese woman who struggled with English. My daughter has torn heart.
Brynn placed her hand over her own heart. It did indeed feel as if it had been torn. Please tell Suzie that Im looking for her.
Yes. Thank you very much to coming. Her English was heavily accented and barely understandable.
Before she left, Brynn placed her hand on the other womans shoulder. Suzie is a wonderful girl. I feel honored to have been the teacher of such a fine student.
The delicate womans eyes avoided Brynns, but she thought she might have detected a smile.
When Brynn arrived at Mikes, his mother was at the funeral home, making the arrangements for her sons burial. Brynn left feeling as if shed failed everyone. Mike. Suzie. His mother. Her students. Herself.
Her apartment was cold and bleak. She walked inside and stood in the dark, feeling as though she carried the burden of the world on her shoulders. With a heavy heart, she turned on the light switch and walked over to her desk.
It might have helped her had she been able to cry, but there were no tears left inside her. With a steady, sure hand, she wrote out her letter of resignation to give to Mr. Whalen in the morning. When school resumed after the first of the year, she wouldnt be there.
Roberto was right, and had been from the first, she realized. She didnt belong here. Shed failed Mike, but most of all shed failed herself.

She isnt actually going to quit, is she? Mercy asked.
Shirley stood with her hand planted protectively over Brynns shoulder. Mercy knew that her friend had been with her charge from the moment Brynn had learned about Mikes suicide.
What happened with Mike wasnt her fault. Mercy wished there was something she could do. Poor Shirley was at a loss as to know how to help.
I know.
Brynn leaned forward and pressed her forehead against her folded arms.
Isnt there something we can do for you? Mercy asked.
Shirley shook her head.
It was then that Mercy realized her friend was weeping. Oh, Shirley.
Im sorry, the other angel said softly. Its just that I cant bear to see Brynn feeling this defeated.
Whats going to happen?
Shirley rubbed her hand under her nose. I dont know. Gabriels the one who can tell us that. But ...
Yes? Mercy prodded.
I think it might be best if Brynn returned to Rhode Island.
Mercy was shocked. But why?
She cares too much. If shed had a more experienced angel assigned to help her ...
You cant blame yourself, Mercy cried, outraged at the suggestion.
She needs Roberto, Shirley added.
Then lets get him, Mercy suggested. There were ways of dealing with stubborn men, and she wasnt opposed to using them. If Roberto Alcantara thought that he could trample over this sweet young womans heart, well, there was a thing or two Mercy could teach that man. Shed take a great deal of pleasure in doing it, too.
No, Shirley said with surprising strength. Leave Roberto out of this.
But
He has what he wants.
Youre sure of that? the strong male voice spoke from behind them.
Gabriel. Mercy was quick to jump to attention.
Hows Jenny? the archangel asked her.
Mercy brightened. Great. At least she was the last time I checked. She was chosen for a major role in a new musical. Its the chance of a lifetime. She couldnt be more thrilled.
What makes you think that?
Mercy hesitated. This sounded like one of those trick questions. I ... I ...
What happened to Trey? The last I heard hed disappeared, and Jenny was looking for him. Hed checked out of the hotel by the time she arrived.
Trey, well, that is a bit unfortunate. Mercy did feel bad about the young man whod set his heart on loving Jenny all these years. Im afraid hes gone.
Gone? Gabriel frowned, and when he did, he was something fierce to behold.
Mercy edged closer to her friend. Yes, he left New York. He had a little trouble changing his airplane ticket, but managed to catch an earlier flight.
Brynns doorbell chimed, and she straightened and wiped the tears from her face.
Whos coming? Shirley directed the question to Gabriel.
Suzie Chang, he answered. Apparently there is a letter Brynn needs to share with the girl.

Seventeen
Talking to Carl proved to be so much more difficult than Hannah had thought it would be. Shed waited all day for him, practiced in her mind how to break the news as gently as possible.
Shed left her grandmothers filled with conviction. In the time since, her clear purpose had become clouded with the time-honored traditions of duty and honor.
I know youre wondering why I asked to see you, Hannah said as she brought Carl a cup of tea and set it on the table in the family kitchen. She was nervous, and the hot liquid sloshed over the edges of the cup.
Hannah didnt worry that her parents would interrupt them. Her family seemed to think it was important that Hannah and Carl have time together alone, and for once Hannah was grateful.
Ive been wanting to talk to you, too, Carl said, smiling broadly. He looked happy, more so than she could remember in a long while. She suspected the situation with the school had been cleared up, and she was pleased for his sake.
My father had a go-round with the school headmaster himself, Carl said, gloating a little.
So she was right.
I have my job back, Hannah, and if anyones position is in jeopardy, its Hiram Stienfields.
I couldnt be more pleased, she said, but before she could relay her own, less welcome news, Carl continued.
As you might guess, my mind is greatly relieved.
Of course, and now ...
We can seriously start planning for our wedding, he finished for her.
As a matter of fact, that was what I wanted to talk to you about....
Now I agree June is an excellent time of year, but personally Id prefer May. Once again Carl wouldnt allow her to continue.
Carl, would you please listen to me?
In a minute. There are a number of reasons I prefer May.
Carl!
My mothers birthday is in May, and then theres Mothers Day. Ive always found it convenient to cluster certain dates together whenever possible. It helps to keep track, and if were going to need to buy ... He stopped abruptly when Hannah stood up.
She walked over to the stove. Now she understood what it was about Carl that had always disturbed her. He refused to listen.
Hannah? he asked gently. Youre upset, arent you?
Yes, she said between gritted teeth, unwilling to hide it.
Your hearts set on June, isnt it?
No, she said forcefully, and whirled around. Im not going to marry you. There, shed said it, but in far less diplomatic terms than shed wanted.
A stunned, disbelieving silence followed. At last shed found a way to capture his attention.
Youre honestly breaking our engagement?
He seemed to need confirmation. Yes, she said firmly.
He scratched the side of his head. Dont you think thats a bit drastic, considering that Im willing to give up the May date? Id like to think Im a reasonable man. If you dont want the wedding in May, why dont you just say so?
I dont want the wedding in May or June or any other month of the year. She folded her arms and released a deep sigh of frustration. This is the crux of the problem between us. You dont hear me. Im trying to tell you something important, and either you dont care or youve already got your mind made up.
He stiffened. I dont see it that way.
Hannah had never intended for them to discuss their basic personality differences. I want to break the engagement, Carl. I deeply regret hurting you, but Im fairly certain you arent in love with me.
Dont be ridiculous, he snapped. Of course I love you. I think youre wonderful. Youll make me a good wife, youre supportive and
Youre doing it again, she cried, clenching her fists at her sides. Hannah so seldom raised her voice that it shocked even her.
Carl looked genuinely baffled. I dont understand. Hannah, listen, tell me whatever it is that you find offensive. I can change.
It doesnt matter.
But of course it matters. I realize that marriage is an important step and youre bound to have second thoughts, every woman does. Now its true, he said, and raised his right hand with a dismissive gesture, that Ive been wrapped up in my own problems of late. I havent paid you nearly enough attention, have I? Naturally youre feeling short-changed in the romance department, and frankly I dont blame you.
Carl, she whispered, you dont love me.
Nonsense. I asked you to marry me, didnt I?
Okay, she whispered, her patience wearing paper thin. Lets try this from a different angle. I cant marry you, Carl, because I dont love you.
He laughed. The man had the nerve to actually laugh aloud.
Dumbfounded, all Hannah could do was stare at him.
Of course you love me, he countered, sounding relieved. He placed his hand on his chest as if to restrain the bubbling amusement welling up inside him. Hannah, these doubts of yours are only natural. I had them, too.
And now you dont?
Occasionally, he was willing to admit. But Ive worked through those feelings, and given time, you will, too.
Hannah had hoped that she could talk to Carl without telling him about Joshua. It was one thing to break the engagement and something else entirely to mention shed fallen in love with another man. Shed hoped to spare Carl that.
The problem as I see it, Carl said, talking to her as he would one of his students, is that people are rarely willing to see through their difficulties. Our society is caught up in fast-food restaurants, pay later mentality, and instant gratification. My dear Hannah, what youre feeling isnt so difficult to understand. But weve made a commitment to each other, and we cant treat it lightly.
Carl, Im terminating our engagement. She couldnt say it any plainer than that.
Its times such as these that we need to hold on to each other instead of letting go of the most important relationship of our lives.
Hannahs heart was pounding so hard and fast, it felt as though her ribs were about to break. Ive met someone else, she said forcefully.
Her words stopped Carl cold. His eyes narrowed. Who?
You dont know him.
Dont be so sure. Tell me his name.
What does it matter what his name is? she demanded. I love him and he loves me.
Looking completely taken aback, Carl pulled out a kitchen chair and slumped onto it.
To be honest, Carl, I didnt think youd care.
Not care? he cried as though her comment had outraged him. Of course I care. Some man, some stranger, has stolen my bride, and you seem to think that it really shouldnt matter.
Hannah knew it was his ego speaking and was sorrier than she could say. If youre looking to blame anyone, blame me, she told him gently. I never intended to tell you about him, but then I couldnt make you listen, and
His head jerked up. You werent going to tell me?
All I wanted to do was break the engagement, but you refused to believe me ... you werent hearing me.
Dont be ridiculous. I heard every word you said.
Hannah wasnt going to get into an argument with him, but this was too much. You keep discounting me, offering excuses and reasons for my wanting to call off the engagement. Youve given me no option but to tell you about Joshua.
Joshua ... He repeated the name as if he were reading it off a post office poster.
Im genuinely sorry.
Youre serious? This isnt some stupid joke?
I cant marry you, Carl, nor can I go on pretending I love you.
The silence that followed fell like a butchers cleaver into the middle of the room.
Carl reached for his jacket, swinging it over his shoulders like a shawl in his rush to get away from her. Do your parents know?
Hannah hesitated. They will soon enough.
He walked toward the stairway, his steps abrupt and urgent. If this other man is who you love, then all I can say is youre welcome to him. Just dont come crying to me when youve regained your senses.
Joshua isnt going to break my heart, she assured him softly. I realize this is painful, Carl, but Id like it if we could be friends.
Friends? he echoed as though it were a ridiculous suggestion. Youve got to be kidding. Frankly, Hannah, I doubt that Ill ever want to see you again. Having said that, he stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. The pictures on the walls shook with the force of his exit.
Hannah? A moment later her father called from the bottom of the stairs.
Yes, she said, hoping she sounded calm and assured.
Is everything all right between you and Carl?
She didnt hesitate, and the relief in her voice was evident. Dont worry, Dad, everythings the way it should be.

There came a time in every mans life when he had to admit hed made a mistake, learn from it, and move forward. Joshua had reached that point the afternoon hed heard Hannahs father invite him to his daughters wedding to another man.
Even now he couldnt find it in his heart to be angry with Hannah. Her inability to break her engagement highlighted what had attracted her to him. She was loyal to a fault, caring, and tenderhearted. Family took priority.
A part of him would always love her, he realized. Knowing her for this short period had blessed his life, but now it was time to own up to a few home truths.
First off, his love was hurting her. Because of the tenderness he held for Hannah, he couldnt continue to make her miserable. The truth was, hed found her too late.
His decision made, Joshua had hoped to experience some sort of emotional release, but he didnt. If anything, he felt considerably worse. Hed stewed and fretted, doubted and reasoned, until he was blue with the effort. Nothing would ever change. Hannah loved him, but it went against the very grain of her being to defy and disappoint her family.
The snowstorm that had been predicted for that afternoon had already darkened the sky. Another night of sitting home alone, thinking about Hannah, would solve nothing.
Unfortunately all his favorite escapes had been ruined. He couldnt walk past Rockefeller Center now and not remember the time he and Hannah had skated together. Nor could he forget how good shed felt in his arms.
This was the real problem: he couldnt forget.
The time had come to seek greener pastures, and he had just the woman in mind. He reached for the phone and dialed Carols number.

Hannah, her mother called to her from the hallway. Your father and I need to talk to you.
Hannah opened her bedroom door, her coat draped over her arm.
Ruths eyes widened with distress. Youre not going out, are you?
Yes.
Ruth hesitated and looked to her husband.
Did you need me to get you something? Hannah asked, then added, I dont know when Ill be home.
No.... I just received a call from Carls mother. Is it true, honey, have you broken the engagement with Carl?
Hannah should have realized something like this would happen. Carl had gone directly to his family and listed her sins. Hannah regretted that she hadnt prepared her parents for the news, but shed been hoping to confront them with Joshua at her side.
I dont love Carl, she told her mother gently. Im sorry, Mom, I know how much you and Dad like him, but I dont feel the same way.
Theres someone else? her mother questioned, her voice revealing the depth of her disbelief. Helen seems to think youve been seeing another man on the sly, without any of us knowing. I assured her that couldnt possibly be true.
David Morganstern stood behind his wife, his hand on Ruths shoulder. His eyes, dark and inquisitive, rested on his daughter.
His names Joshua Shadduck, she admitted. Hes an attorney.
Her mother gasped softly and covered her mouth with her hand. Hannah wasnt sure if this was because shed admitted to dating someone while engaged to Carl or because Joshua was an attorney.
Her father frowned. Didnt I recently meet this young man?
Ashamed that shed deceived them both, Hannah lowered her gaze. Yes. He was in the deli.
How could you have fallen in love with him? her mother asked, her voice raised with disbelief. How could you hurt Carl like this? Hes such a good man. We couldnt ask for a better husband for you.
Joshua will make me a good husband, too.
I forbid you from seeing this Joshua again, her father said sternly.
Daddy, Ive never defied you. Ive always done what youve asked, but I love Joshua with all my heart. I need to see him. I need to be with him.
Her parents stared back at her, too shocked to respond right away.
How did you meet him? The question came from her mother a moment later.
We met at the Thanksgiving Day parade. Then, before I had a chance to analyze how I felt about him, Carl asked me to marry him. I didnt want to agree, but at the time it seemed like the best thing to do. You and Dad were so pleased, and you both like Carl.
Hes been like a son to me, her father admitted sadly.
Im sorry, Dad, Hannah whispered. I didnt mean to disappoint you. Before either one could say anything more, she rushed out of the apartment.
Hannah, please, dont go, her mother shouted from the top of the stairway, but Hannah pretended not to hear. Never in all her life had she ignored her mother and father.
Hannah caught a taxi outside the deli and read the driver the Riverside Drive address Joshua had written down on the back of his business card.
It looks like it might snow, she said, glancing toward the darkening sky. The sooner she reached Joshua, the better. She needed him now as never before. When she told him what had happened, hed come with her and together theyd talk to her family and make everything right.
The driver mumbled something in return that she didnt understand.
Several minutes later the cabdriver pulled over to the curb and flipped off the meter. Hannah gazed out the car window at the high-rise apartment building and experienced a sense of relief. The man she loved, the man shed defied her family to marry, lived in this building.
Lady, are you going to stare out the window all day?
No, sorry. She returned her attention to her purse and pulled out her wallet. From the corner of her eye, she caught sight of a familiar figure. Looking up, she saw Joshua coming out of the building. She raised her hand and was about to call him when, suddenly, she stopped. The happy shout died in her throat.
Joshua wasnt alone.
Standing beside him was the most beautiful, elegant-looking woman Hannah had ever seen. Joshua slipped his arm around the other womans waist, bent down, and kissed her gently on the lips.
Her heart pounding like a locomotive chugging uphill, Hannah hurled herself back against the seat, not wanting him to see her.
Lady, are you going to pay me or not? the cabbie asked a second time with far less patience.
Yes, yes, of course. Hannah leaned forward just far enough to peek at Joshua. It was apparent the two were long-term acquaintances. The woman with him gazed up adoringly, as though this were the happiest day of her life.
Please, Hannah whispered. Take me home.
You got the money or dont you? the taxi driver asked.
She handed him a twenty-dollar bill for security. Now take me back, she pleaded. Shed go home because she had nowhere else to go. With her tail between her legs, her heart heavy with pain, shed return to her family, who would love and support her despite the fact that shed deeply embarrassed and disappointed them.
All right, if you want to go back, then fine, Ill take you. The driver hesitated, and Hannah met his gaze in the rearview mirror. Is everything all right? he asked gently.
No, Hannah whispered.
She was too late. Joshua had found someone else.

Mike Glasser was buried two days later. Father Grady was scheduled to say the funeral mass and had spent considerable time counseling Mikes mother, Louise.
Brynn was one of the first to arrive at the church. She slipped into the pew and knelt down on the padded kneeler. Since hearing the news, she hadnt cried. It might have helped if shed been able to release her grief, but she held on to it with both hands, clenching it to her breast, fearing what would happen if she ever let go.
Mikes death was a constant, painful reminder of how badly shed failed him and her other students. How badly shed failed herself.
Emilio walked into church and sat in the pew directly across from her. Yolanda and Pearl arrived together and sat in front of Brynn.
The huge church was nearly half full with a number of other students and faculty members from Manhattan High. Mikes suicide had had a powerful impact on those whod known him.
Organ music, deep and somber, filled the church. Mikes mother and a handful of other relatives arrived. Together they walked down the center aisle. Louise Glassers shoulders were bent under the weight of her grief. She appeared to be leaning heavily on the girl walking beside her. The two clung to each other. It didnt take Brynn long to realize the one with Mikes mother was Suzie Chang. They needed each other.
Brynn had met with them both, separately. Theyd come together as strangers with a common bond. Both had loved Mike. Both deeply grieved his death.
Organ music surged through the church as a mans voice, hauntingly melodic, rang loud and clear from the choir loft. The voice, a baritone, reached out and consoled with music those whod gathered to mourn Mikes death. Brynn recognized the singers voice immediately.
Roberto.
Even from this distance his voice filled her with a bitter sadness. It settled in the pit of her stomach, and a chill came over her as she closed her eyes and soaked in the comfort of the song. She pretended it was Robertos arms around her.
Since her last meeting with Roberto, Brynn had tried to push all thoughts of him from her mind. By the sheer force of her determination, shed partially succeeded. Despite her efforts to purge him from her thoughts, she couldnt keep from feeling that something important, something vital, was missing.
Once, a year or so before, Brynn had lost her purse. A knot had formed in her stomach that refused to go away until she was able to replace everything that had been lost. A similar sensation had been with her since her last meeting with Roberto. She was lost, and the way she felt just then, nothing would ever be right again. She supposed her thinking was melodramatic. In time shed be able to put these weeks in New York behind her.
As Roberto had encouraged her from the beginning, she would return to where she belonged. But she wouldnt go back to Rhode Island the same as when shed left. No, when she headed home, shed be bringing a lot of emotional baggage with her.
Father Grady said the mass. A wake was scheduled in the parish hall immediately following the service. Brynn knew she was expected to show. It was as good a time as any to tell her students that she wouldnt be back in class following winter vacation. Already theyd been assigned another teacher, one with more experience than she.
Most of Brynns apartment was packed. Depending on road conditions, she should be ready to leave in another day, two at the most.
When the service was over, Mikes family filed out first, then each row followed in turn.
Brynn stayed behind. She wanted a few moments alone before she headed over to the parish hall. With her head bowed, she tried to pray. Lately it had been a losing battle. Every concern she gave to God had claw marks all over it.
Not only had her abilities as a teacher been questioned, but her faith, once so stable and sure, had been badly shaken. She recognized that in time it would right itself again, but just then even that looked doubtful.
Footsteps sounded on the tile floor behind her. Brynn kept her head lowered, resenting the intrusion. She needed this time alone. She wasnt ready to join the others.
To her surprise it was Roberto who slipped into the pew and sat next to her. He didnt say anything, simply sat at her side, his head bowed in prayer.
After a while he touched her forearm. The others are waiting.
I know, she whispered back. Tell them Ill be there in a few minutes.
He didnt leave.
Im fine, Roberto. I appreciate your concern, but theres nothing to worry about. She hoped her weak smile would convince him she was telling the truth.
He didnt budge. I know you too well to believe that.
She stiffened. His words set fire under her. You dont know me at all, you never did.
Seeing that he wasnt going to leave her, she stood abruptly and made her way out of the pew and down the side aisle. Her crisp steps echoed in the empty church.
She must have risen too quickly, because she hadnt gone more than a few feet when her head started to swim and the room began to spin. Reaching out to the end of the wooden row, she caught herself in time to keep from collapsing.
Roberto was at her side in an instant. He murmured something impatient in Spanish and led her to the back of the church.
Stay here, he insisted, and disappeared. No more than a minute passed before he returned with a glass of water.
Theres nothing wrong with me, she insisted. She didnt want him to touch her. Didnt want him close to her. He was the one who wanted her out of his life. Shed go. Kicking and screaming, shed abided by his wishes. However difficult, however painful. He had no reason to complain.
When was the last time you had anything to eat?
Brynn couldnt remember, but she wasnt about to let Roberto know that. Im fine, she insisted stiffly. Id appreciate it if youd kindly leave me alone.
Brynn, please listen.
If I understood you correctly, you dont want anything more to do with me. All I ask is that you respect my wishes, as I have yours.
He hesitated, and Brynn felt a small sense of satisfaction, knowing her words had hit their mark.
Allow me to escort you to the wake. Please. She knew that the please had cost him a great deal.
Why? She didnt understand the necessity of this.
Its a little thing, isnt it?
It would be petty to refuse him, so she agreed. His arm came around her shoulder. She meant to shake it off, but the moment he brought her close to his side, the tears that had refused to come broke free in a surging dam of grief.
Brynn sank into the pew at the back of the vestibule and wept as though her very soul had been ripped from her body.
Its all right, Roberto whispered, cradling her in his arms, pressing her head to his chest.
She didnt mean to cling to him, but her pride be damned, she needed him as shed never needed anyone.
He spoke again in Spanish, his voice low and soothing. Tucking her head against his shoulder, he rocked back and forth gently.
You were right, she admitted when the shoulder-shaking sobs had abated. You tried to tell me, but I wouldnt listen. Now Mikes dead and
You cant blame yourself.
On a conscious level Brynn agreed with him, but deep inside she felt she carried a portion of the blame. Mike had trusted her enough to write her. She was the one person in all the world to whom he felt comfortable enough communicating his last wishes. Yet shed been oblivious of his pain, deaf to his needs. The boy had been desperate, and she had been blind.
In retrospect Brynn realized that Mike had been trying to tell her in subtle ways of the hopelessness he experienced. His essays had been full of it. The dark side. Despondent words from a despondent youth.
Abruptly, Brynn pulled away from Roberto. In addition to his comfort, his embrace was a painful reminder that he wanted nothing more to do with her. If this was a contest, she was declaring him the winner.
I wont be coming back, she announced firmly, surprised at the strength of her voice. Ive already given Mr. Whalen my letter of resignation. In January the kids will have a new teacher.
Do Emilio and the others know? Roberto asked.
Not yet.
When do you plan to tell them?
Now.
Something flashed in his eyes. Its for the best.
She noticed that Roberto didnt try to talk her out of leaving. She realized that was what she wanted, what she longed with all her being for him to do.
She stood. Ill do it now, she said, and boldly walked out the door.

What are we going to tell Gabriel? Shirley demanded of her two friends. The three had gathered in the choir loft following Mikes funeral, at a loss as to how to report their progress to the archangel.
This is the first time weve failed. Hell understand, Mercy offered.
He might accept one failure, but all three of us?
What happened this year? Goodness threw her arms into the air, thoroughly disgusted by this unexpected turn of events.
Shirley cast them a disgruntled look. It might have helped matters if you two hadnt been playing on escalators and writing on billboards in Times Square.
Blaming each other isnt going to help.
But its nearly Christmas Eve, Mercy protested. I cant possibly see us turning everything around at this late point.
Maybe theres a chance if we work together.
Shirley shook her head slowly. It seems to me working together is what got us into this mess.
All right, lets each report whats happening with our charges, Goodness suggested, and gestured for Shirley to go first.
Well, as you can see, Shirley said, pointing to Brynn, who sat in the corner of the parish hall, Brynn has said good-bye to her class. Shes miserable, and blames herself for Mikes death.
Whats going to happen to her?
I havent a clue, Shirley said, and sounded thoroughly miserable. Gabriel was right, this assignment was too much for me. Ill leave him to pick up the pieces. Its going to take an archangel to bring about some good from this tragedy.
Roberto loves her, Goodness said, studying Emilios brother.
Yes, I know, Shirley said sadly. Letting her leave is a sign of how much he cares for her.
Theres nothing more you can do? Mercy asked. Perhaps what Brynn needs is a little talking to from the three of us.
Im afraid that would send her packing faster than anything.
Okay, okay, Goodness said, looking to Mercy. Whats happening with Jenny?
I thought shed be overjoyed to get this chance to star on Broadway. Its been her dream.
And she isnt happy?
Mercy shrugged, apparently unable to come up with an explanation of her charges behavior. Shes moped around the apartment for two days now. Im afraid she wants Trey with her and a chance to star on Broadway, but she cant have both.
Oh boy, Shirley muttered. And what is Gabriel going to say about that?
I dont know, but I have the distinct notion hes going to think I was responsible for getting the plays director to notice her. I wasnt, truly I wasnt.
I believe you, Shirley murmured, but her opinion wasnt the one that mattered, and all three knew it.
That leaves me to tell you about Hannah, Goodness said, and her disappointment was keen. She broke off the engagement with Carl.
Good. Both Shirley and Mercy brightened.
But it was too late. Goodness told them that Joshua was dating Carol seriously now.
Joshua found someone else? Shirley asked. I dont believe it.
Mercy crossed her arms and pursed her lips. Men can be so fickle.
In my opinion he still loves Hannah.
But he doesnt know that Hannah broke her engagement with Carl, does he?
It might have made a difference, Shirley insisted.
Its too late, Goodness informed them sadly. Hannah saw him with the other woman.
We can fix that, Mercy said confidently. This sort of thing is right up our alley.
It wont work. Not this time.
Why not? Shirley insisted.
Because Joshua has decided to cut his losses and look elsewhere for a wife.
And Hannah?
Hannah will live with her parents the rest of her life and never marry.
Just a minute, Mercy said, and rolled up her sleeves. We can fix that, and while were at it, there are ways to deal with men as stubborn as Roberto.
What about you and Jenny? Goodness asked.
Some of Mercys brightness dimmed. I dont know what we can do about Jenny and Trey.
Shirley rubbed her chin. I have an idea. All isnt lost yet.

Eighteen
From inside his office Joshua heard the raised voices of the receptionist and an angry man. He stepped into the hallway and heard David Morganstern, Hannahs father, demanding to see him.
Its all right, Julie, Joshua said, coming forward, Ill see Mr. Morganstern.
David shot the receptionist a look of triumph and straightened the cuffs of his coat sleeves. I told you Mr. Shadduck would see me.
He doesnt have an appointment, Julie told Joshua, and he refused to make one.
Its all right, Julie.
Joshua escorted David into his office. The older man paused in the doorway and looked around. He didnt seem overly impressed. Mighty fancy digs you have here.
Thank you. Giving the impression of nonchalance, Joshua sat down at his desk and invited Hannahs father to make himself comfortable. What can I do for you, Mr. Morganstern?
David sat on the cushion as if he expected it to jump up and bite him at any moment. Ive come to ask you a few questions, young man. I recently learned, through no fault of my daughters, that youve been sneaking around with Hannah. I want you to know I dont like it one bit.
Joshua folded his hands on top of the desk and waited.
I wanted to meet the man face to face who played havoc with my daughters life. It was clear Davids feelings ran strong and fervent. The older gentleman bolted out of the chair and stood directly in front of Joshuas desk.
Joshua wondered exactly how much David knew about the two of them and feared saying more than he should.
Your silence tells me everything I need to know, David said, spitting out the words, revealing his distaste. I find you to be the most despicable kind of man.
Joshua didnt blame Morganstern. His behavior had been less than honorable. Hed never been comfortable meeting Hannah on the sly, kissing her, urging her to continue their relationship while she was engaged to another man. He wasnt comfortable now, offering excuses.
How is she? Joshua couldnt keep himself from asking.
How do you think? David demanded.
You have my apology, Joshua said, hoping the other man understood the full extent of his regret.
What about Carl? Are you willing to apologize to him, too? What about Hannah? My daughter gave you her heart, and it meant nothing to the mighty, powerful attorney. You people seem to think you have the right to disrupt lives. Its time someone made you accountable for your actions.
You want me to apologize to Carl? Joshua asked, willing to do whatever he could to appease Hannahs family and make matters easier for her. Personally he thought the less Carl knew about him, the better.
David considered his offer, then shrugged. No. Carl and our family arent exactly on speaking terms.
Joshua leaned forward slightly, wondering if hed heard him correctly. Why arent you?
David sat back down and eyed Joshua suspiciously. You mean to say you honestly dont know?
I wouldnt ask if I did.
Hannah loves you.
The confirmation of her feelings should have brought him joy; instead he was filled with a deep, painful sense of loss. I love her, too.
Not in my book, David fumed. You leave her to face Carl alone, and when she breaks the engagement, you dump her.
It was Joshuas turn to bolt upright. Hannah broke off the engagement?
David frowned and nodded. You mean to say you didnt know?
Joshua came out from behind his desk. No.
She defied both her mother and me when we insisted she not see you again. Then less than a half hour after she leaves, she returns, tells us how sorry she is for having upset us, and goes to her bedroom. She hasnt been herself since. She wont talk about you or Carl, but its plain as the nose on my face that shes miserable.
She never told me. I knew how difficult all this was for her. She didnt want to hurt anyone, least of all her family and especially not Carl. Every time she promised to break the engagement something more would happen to prevent it. I felt the only thing I could do was step aside.
It was clear David wasnt interested in hearing explanations. Do you or dont you love my daughter?
I love her, Joshua said with conviction.
Then what are your intentions?
He didnt hesitate. I want to marry her.
David glanced around the office once more, this time with a less critical eye. Talk to Hannah first, and then you and I might strike some kind of agreement. We could do with a lawyer in the family. He started toward the door, then stopped abruptly and turned around. Are you coming or not, young man?
Joshua laughed and reached for his coat. Coming.
David nodded once, profoundly. Good, thats exactly what I wanted to hear.
Hannah was working the counter when Joshua walked inside the deli, her father at his side.
Hannah, David shouted, youve got company. Take him upstairs and serve him a piece of your mothers cheesecake.
Hannah ignored her father and directed her question to Joshua. What are you doing here?
I came to talk to you. I suggest we go upstairs as your father advised. Theyd already attracted more than enough attention.
Go, Ruth Morganstern insisted to Hannah. This way, young man, she said, and directed Joshua around the counter, pointing the way to their private quarters.
Joshua followed Hannah up the stairs. She paused halfway up and turned to face him. From her position on the stairway they were at eye level. It required more discipline than hed needed in quite some time not to kiss her right then and there.
What did my father say to you? she demanded. Her eyes were full of fire. I dont need your pity, Joshua Shadduck.
My pity? This came at him out of the blue. If anyone is asking questions, it should be me. The last thing I heard was your father inviting me to your wedding to another man.
Hannahs shoulders went stiff. The last time I saw you, you were kissing another woman.
He frowned. Who?
How should I know? she flared.
The door at the bottom of the stairs opened. Upstairs, Hannah. The entire deli is listening in on your conversation.
If ever Hannah needed an incentive, this appeared to be it. She raced up the remainder of the stairs.
Joshua was left with no choice but to follow her, which he did gladly. He found her standing in front of a window, looking out, her back to him, her arms folded around her middle.
Her names Carol, he said gently, wanting to clear the air as soon as he could so they could move on to the more important matters. Ive known her for a number of years.
You should marry her, she suggested, turning to face him.
I cant. Shes a wonderful woman, but she isnt you. Youre the one who owns my heart. You have from nearly the first moment we met. I had to let you go, Hannah, surely you understand that. My love was hurting you. The family pressures on you to marry Carl were overwhelming. Stepping aside was the only decent thing to do.
It didnt take you long to recover, did it?
She was jealous of Carol, and Joshua thrilled at the realization. I see its done a bit of good for you to know how Ive felt these last few weeks. It wasnt easy on me when you were spending time with Carl. It was probably the most difficult thing Ive ever done.
I always loved you, and you knew it. You never had a single reason to be jealous.
Joshua longed to hold and kiss her too much to argue the point. Are you going to marry me or not, Hannah Morganstern?
Her eyes searched his as if she questioned the sincerity of his proposal.
I love you, he added tenderly, and held open his arms to her.
It didnt take her long to find her way into his embrace. When she slipped her arms around his middle, Joshua sighed with a sense of peace, of homecoming. Hed been waiting all his life for this woman, and now that she was his, he didnt intend to lose her.
Tunneling his fingers through her hair, Joshua positioned his mouth to kiss her.
Ive been so unhappy, she admitted on the tail end of a soft moan.
Me, too. He kissed her again.
But you werent lonely, she accused. I was miserable and lonely.
I love you, Hannah, he said, laying his heart at her feet. Youre going to marry me, arent you?
Oh yes.
Good. He held her against him protectively. Its the oddest thing, he mumbled, nuzzling his face close to hers.
What is? she said, thrilling him with small kisses along the underside of his jaw.
Your father claims I gave him my business card. I never did. I havent a clue where he got it.
Me either, Hannah said. Does it matter?
Joshua chuckled. Not in the least.

The last thing Brynn anticipated when she was ready to leave New York was car problems. Ever since Roberto had worked on her carburetor, her Escort had been running like a dream. Now, however, the engine wouldnt so much as crank.
The first thing she did was contact her family and tell them. Her parents were concerned about her, and they werent happy to have her traveling home alone, but she couldnt very well desert her vehicle.
Sitting inside her apartment, she thumbed through the telephone directory, looking for a garage listing, knowing full well her chances of finding someone willing to work on her car on Christmas Eve were damn near impossible.
Her doorbell chimed, and disheartened, Brynn slipped off the stool. When she checked her peephole the first person she saw was Emilio, but there were a number of others she recognized with him.
After flipping open the latch, she found herself facing a throng of her students and their parents.
Whats going on here? she asked. There must have been close to fifty people jam-packed into her hallway.
We dont want you to leave, Miss Cassidy, Emilio said, serving as spokesperson for the group. After Mikes funeral a number of us went and talked to Mr. Whalen. We asked that the school refuse to accept your letter of resignation.
I dont know how much we were able to influence him, Yolanda said, laughing nervously. I think our parents had a far greater impact.
Suzie Changs delicate mother pressed forward and in halting English said, You say it honor to have Suzie in class. We say it greater honor to have you for teacher.
A cry of agreement followed the Chinese womans words.
We love you, Miss Cassidy.
Brynn couldnt speak for the lump in her throat. Never in all her dreams had she expected anything like this.
Mr. Whalen says you can have your job back, if you want it, Denzils mother told her. For the first time in his life, my sons doing well in school. Hes talking about something other than video games.
What do you say, Miss Cassidy?
Frankly, Brynn was left speechless.
Say something, Emilio urged.
I dont know ... I just dont know.
Give the girl some room to breathe. Parents and teens parted so Father Grady could make his way to the front.
Father Grady!
You didnt know I was here? My dear, I was the one who drove the bus.
You brought the church bus? Brynn placed both hands over her mouth to keep from laughing out loud.
Robertos driving it around the block, looking for a place to park now.
Roberto. Brynn whispered his name.
Im telling you right now, Teach, Emilio advised from the corner of his mouth, you have to be patient with my brother, but once he learns something, youll never have to teach him again.
She caught sight of Roberto just then, hurrying down the corridor, breathing hard. He slowed his pace when he saw her.
Will you stay, Miss Cassidy?
Brynn reached out and touched Yolandas face. Then, because it seemed to be so important to everyone else, she nodded.
A loud cheer went up, and Brynns next-door neighbor opened the door and stuck out her head. Ralph, I told you there was a party going on in the hallway. Come and look.
Hello, Mrs. Camden, Brynn called, and waved.
Is everyone invited? her neighbor asked.
Of course, Father Grady answered. Come with us. We got what we came for. One by one they filed down the hallway. Lorraine Camden and her husband joined the line, chattering as they went.
Where are we going? Brynn heard the older woman ask.
To the bus, someone answered.
Ralph, they have a bus.
Yes, Lorraine, I heard.
Soon only Brynn and Roberto were left. She led him inside her apartment and closed the door. With her back pressed against it, she studied him.
Finally, when she couldnt stand not to know any longer, she asked, You want me to stay, too?
He avoided eye contact. Its a dangerous neighborhood.
You didnt answer my question.
Yes! he shouted, as if it made him mad to have to say it. I want you to stay.
Why? She wasnt going to make it easy for him.
Because youre a damn good teacher and there isnt a student in your class who didnt protest when they learned you were leaving.
She took two steps away from the door. Im not talking about my students. Im asking why you dont want me to leave.
Me? He swallowed uncomfortably, then pointed to the door. Father Grady might have a problem driving the bus. It would be better if we continued this conversation some other time.
She laughed softly. Not on your life, buster.
To her amazement, Roberto broke out laughing. Buster. Thats exactly why I love you so damn much, Brynn Cassidy. The worst you can think to call me is Buster. He whispered something in Spanish.
If you love me, then why were you so eager to be rid of me?
He channeled his fingers through his hair and sighed audibly. Because I love you. This neighborhood has a way of dragging people down. Eventually it would happen to you, and I couldnt bear to sit by and watch that.
As long as youre with me thats not going to happen. We can help one another.
He buried both hands deep in his pockets. Id like to be self-sacrificing and send you back to that fancy girls school, but I cant. The problem is I need you as much as Emilio and his friends.
Thats a start, she said, smiling through her tears. She held her arms out to him.
Roberto reached for her and kissed her gently.
I need you, too, Roberto ... so much, she whispered, kissing him freely and fully.
Roberto groaned and forced her lips to part beneath his. His tongue probed hers in a silken dance, then plunged forward, unleashing a fiery passion.
At last, groaning, he broke away. Come with me.
Where?
Onto the bus. Father Grady cant drive worth beans.
Where are we headed?
Church, he told her. Do you mind?
She laughed. No, I dont mind. It seems like the perfect place for us to be on Christmas Eve.

The weather was perfect for such a night. Trey glanced at the clear, bright sky as he made his way from the house to the barn. When hed finished feeding the horses and settling them down for the evening, he planned on stopping off at the Lancasters for some of Dillons wassail. It had become tradition that he join Jennys family for the Christmas Eve celebration.
Hed eat dinner with them, and then theyd attend church services together. The last couple of years the family had invited him to stay for the gift opening, but Trey had refused.
Hed often spent time with the Lancasters on the off chance they could tell him something about Jenny. This year he knew everything there was to know. Hed go for dinner and attend the evening church service, and then, as always, hed head home. Alone.
Jenny hadnt contacted him since hed left New York, not that hed expected she would.
Pausing in the hallway, Trey picked up the box of fancy chocolates hed bought for Jennys mother. He figured every woman deserved a box of expensive French candies one time in her life. Besides, he owed Paula.
The Lancaster house was bright with outside lights. Trey never could pull into their yard and not think of Jenny. The tightness around his heart felt almost physical as he climbed down from his truck and headed inside.
His timing was perfect. Charlie, Jennys brother, and his fiance, Mary Lou, were carrying serving dishes to the dining room table.
Hello, Trey. Welcome. Paula kissed him on the cheek. Trey tucked the chocolates under the tree and shook Dillons hand.
Think itll snow? Dillon asked. It was the same question his friend proposed every Christmas Eve.
Not this year, Trey told him, knowing it would disappoint Dillon.
The smells coming from the kitchen were tantalizing enough to convince a confirmed bachelor to find a wife.
Dillon offered him a glass of hot wassail, but Trey declined. He didnt figure there was enough time to finish it before dinner was served.
Mom, are these the linen napkins you were looking for earlier? a soft voice asked from the vicinity of the hallway.
It was a good thing Trey hadnt been holding a drink. Sure as hell, he would have dropped it. The voice he heard belonged to Jenny. She paused momentarily when she walked into the room. Hello, Trey. Merry Christmas.
Trey felt as if someone had knocked him behind the knees with a baseball bat. He stared at Dillon. Whats Jenny doing home?
Dillon looked well pleased. Youll have to ask her that yourself.
Trey intended on doing exactly that. He followed her into the kitchen and stood behind her while she dished up a mound of steaming mashed potatoes.
When did you arrive? he asked.
This morning. She answered him as though there were a hundred other more important items occupying her mind at that moment. I do need to talk to you, however. I didnt take kindly to your leaving New York without saying good-bye.
Trey, would you mind putting the relish plate on the table? Paula asked.
In a minute. He wasnt budging until he had the answer he wanted.
The potatoes are ready, Jenny announced, and handed the bowl to her brother, who promptly delivered them to the table.
What about the play? Trey insisted.
What about it?
I thought you said the rehearsals started before Christmas.
They did. Jenny dipped her finger inside the gravy boat and licked it clean. Mom, this is your best ever.
Thank you, darling.
Charlie returned, and Trey handed Jennys brother the relish dish. He followed Jenny to the other side of the kitchen. Shouldnt you be there? he asked.
Where?
He figured she was being deliberately obtuse, and it irritated him no end. Practicing, he said louder than he intended.
Not really, she mumbled, then said to her mother, As far as I can see, everythings on the table.
Great. Call your father and well sit down.
Dinner, Jenny called, and the family started to gather around the dining room table.
Jenny. Treys hand on her arm stopped her. Silently he pleaded with her to tell him what was going on. Why arent you in New York?
You honestly dont know?
Baffled, he shook his head.
Im marrying you, Trey. Weve got the next fifty years to discuss all this, but right now dinner is getting cold. She left him standing in the middle of her mothers kitchen with his mouth sagging open so far, it damn near bounced against the floor.
By the time hed recovered enough to walk into the dining room, everyone was seated and waiting for him.
Trey, would you care to say grace?
Everyone looked to him, but for the life of him Trey couldnt take his eyes off Jenny long enough to do as her mother requested.
It seems Treys otherwise occupied, Dillon said, chuckling. Ill be happy to say the blessing.
The Lancaster family bowed their heads while Dillon offered up a short prayer of thanksgiving. When hed finished, he looked to Trey. Sit down, Trey. Your place is directly across from Jenny. Once youre seated, would you kindly pass the mashed potatoes?
Trey was certain he gave them all a good laugh. The first thing he did was pour gravy over the sweet potatoes. He couldnt help it. Nothing could make him stop staring at Jenny. He doubted he ate two bites of the entire dinner.
Twice she looked up and smiled, and it was damn near all he could do not to reach for her right there.
Id appreciate a few minutes alone with Jenny after dinner, he said, looking to her parents.
You dont need our permission, Dillon responded. Jenny makes her own decisions.
An eternity passed before the meal was over. Jenny tormented him during dessert by licking the whipped cream off the back of her forkher eyes locked on him the entire time.
When she announced she was too full to take another bite, Trey nearly picked her up out of the chair in his eagerness to get her alone.
How about a stroll to the barn, she suggested.
Fine. He didnt care if she suggested New Zealand; he wasnt waiting another minute for her to explain her earlier statement.
The night was clear and crisp. Trey led her by the hand into the barn. All right, he demanded without turning on any of the lights. Did you mean what you said earlier?
I said a number of things. Which one do you mean?
Jenny, for the love of heaven. He jerked her into his arms, and it wasnt until she slammed against his chest that he realized how willingly shed come.
You big oaf, she said, solidly planting her lips over his before he had a chance to kiss her. Wanting her as badly as he did, for as long as he had, Trey nearly crumpled to the floor under the weight of his joy. The kiss was slow and deep and moist.
Oaf? he repeated, holding her head so he could kiss her again and again. Fifty years wouldnt be nearly enough to satisfy him.
You didnt stick around long enough for me to answer. If youre going to propose to a woman, the least you can do is wait for the response.
He kissed her just long enough to cut off her tirade. Answer me now.
She threw back her head and laughed. First I think Ill make you suffer.
She hadnt a clue to how much hed already been suffering. His breath came fast and heavy as she brought his mouth down to hers once more.
Jenny, I love you.
Yes, I know. Were going to be very happy, Trey. First were going to get married, then were going to start our family. I want a house full of children. Ive been so hungry for family.
His throat went thick. That sounds perfectly fine with me. He kissed her a dozen times, and even the gentleness between them, the love and tenderness, were far from being sated. What about New York? He had to know.
Michelle got the part.
But I heard ... Irene asked to talk to you.
Its true they offered it to me first, but when I declined, the role went to Michelle.
But this was your big dream.
I loved New York, but I love you more. Montana is where I belong, right here with you. I knew it a long time ago, but was too stubborn to admit it. Im home now.
The back porch light went on, and Dillon appeared on the top step, although there wasnt any chance he could see them. Hey, you two, its about time for church. Are you ready or not?
Treys hand squeezed Jennys. Well be inside in a minute.
Is there going to be a wedding?
Yes, sir, Trey shouted back. Soon, too, the sooner the better.
Dillon laughed. Welcome to the family.
Trey kissed Jenny one last time, and with their arms wrapped around each other, they headed for the house.
They hadnt gone more than a few steps when thick, flat flakes of snow drifted down from the sky.
I thought you said it wasnt going to snow, Dillon challenged, waiting for them on the back porch.
Trey looked up to the bright, clear sky. I dont know where its coming from, he mumbled, puzzled.
Maybe someone up there is telling us how pleased they are to hear were going to be married, Jenny suggested.
Trey kept his eyes trained on the cloudless sky. Maybe youre right.

It seems to me weve met in a similar spot before, Gabriel said to Shirley, Goodness, and Mercy as they sat in the choir loft of St. Philips. The congregation crowded into the church for the Christmas Eve ceremonies. Candles brightened the interior, and pure red poinsettias decorated the altar.
Hello again, Shirley said, leaning over the loft to get a better view of Brynn and Roberto. The two sat together, holding hands and singing. They appeared to have eyes only for each other.
Brynns decided to stay, Shirley told Gabriel, although it was unnecessary. The archangel was well aware of Brynns future plans.
You outdid yourself, Shirley. You all did. Im proud of you.
All three prayer ambassadors blushed with pleasure. Thank you, Shirley said.
There is that one small matter involving Brynns car, however.
Shirley glanced guiltily toward her two friends, whose attention seemed to be conveniently occupied elsewhere. I had to do something, and fast, she rushed to explain.
She was about to leave, and the church bus was due any time.
Dont worry about it, Gabriel said benevolently. Tampering with a car engine is small potatoes compared to horsing around with the Statue of Liberty.
That captured Goodnesss and Mercys attention.
What does the future hold for Brynn? Shirley asked in a diversionary tactic.
Ah yes, Brynn.
Will she marry Roberto? Shirley asked.
Yes, next year at this time, to be exact. Eventually Roberto will find a way out of this neighborhood, too. His shop will inspire other Hispanics to start their own businesses.
What about Emilio, Suzie, and the baby?
Emilio will go on to college and become a teacher himself. The day will come when hell be at Manhattan High once more, but not as a student.
Emilio? Shirley didnt bother to disguise her amazement.
Hes an intelligent young man.
What about Suzie and Modesto?
Suzie will have a baby girl in the spring. Shell decide to raise the child herself, and with the help of Mikes mother and her own family shell be able to attend college. Suzie is going to major in medicine and do great work in the study of depression and its treatment.
And Modesto?
Gabriel frowned and shook his head sadly. Not long after he recovers from the gunshot hell become heavily involved in drugs and waste his life.
Oh, dear.
What about Trey and Jenny? Mercy asked.
Ah yes, Jenny. Gabriel turned his attention to Mercy. Isnt it amazing that snow would fall from a cloudless sky? He watched his favorite prayer ambassadors squirm and had a difficult time not chuckling.
Theyll marry on Valentines Day, he informed her.
Mercy clapped her hands together. Thats perfect.
In the next six years theyll add two girls and two boys to their family. The girls will be as talented as their mother, and the three will form a singing group and frequently perform at church functions. The boys wont be able to carry a tune to save their lives.
Thats sweet. Will Jenny have any regrets about giving up her chance to perform on Broadway?
Not a one, Gabriel assured Mercy.
Hannah and Joshua?
Ah yes ... Gabriel scratched the side of his face. Theyll marry this June, and Hannahs mother will fight with the wedding coordinator from the first moment they meet. The wedding will be one of the most talked-about affairs in New York. Itll be lovely. Gabriel smiled to himself. Ten years from now, when their son and daughter are still young, Joshua will run for state senator and win. Joshua realizes that Hannah is not only his wife and partner for life, shes his greatest political asset as well.
Are you ready? Gabriel asked, gesturing skyward.
The three nodded. In the distance the archangel could hear music from the harps of heaven. It was a night wrapped in glory and time for them to head home.